In Which Res Ipsa Abandons the Illusion of Control Over What People Post In a Thread f/k/a Thinking About ...

[honorentheos]

I didn't say that about you.

Nowhere did I claim that you said that about me.

Cool. Sounds like we are done, then.

[Jersey Girl]

Nowhere did I claim that you said that about me.

Cool. Sounds like we are done, then.

Yeah I bet it does.

[Jersey Girl]

So honor. Did you barf up the link and quote that I requested? How many times do I have to rub the lamp before the genie pops out of your keyboard/pad?

[honorentheos]

So honor. Did you barf up the link and quote that I requested? How many times do I have to rub the lamp before the genie pops out of your keyboard/pad?

Barfed up, huh? Sounds like it's personal.

The posts I pointed you to apparently weren't egregious enough for you to see why they would represent asshole behavior so to help I offered the most recent example from this thread which has the added benefit of not being related to sexism. So no one else needs to feel like they are being identified with the parties in the example unless they feel like they are on Team Whomever because message boards. Here you go again.

Anyway, here's a non-feminism example of what I mean from this very thread.

And given the history of completely dysfunctional communication between Lem and me, I’d be crazy to get anywhere near a discussion of that nature.

As long as I've known you, you've been upset that you can't make me agree with you or post the way you want me to post. You are frustrated by that and I agree it is dysfunctional.

Note the pattern here. Res points out that they have a poor history of communication (shared ownership of the problem) and Lem rolls her eyes and deflects owning any part of it as it's all due to Res trying to control her.

That's asshole behavior.

[Res Ipsa]

So honor. Did you barf up the link and quote that I requested? How many times do I have to rub the lamp before the genie pops out of your keyboard/pad?

Barfed up, huh? Sounds like it's personal.

The posts I pointed you to apparently weren't egregious enough for you to see why they would represent asshole behavior so to help I offered the most recent example from this thread which has the added benefit of not being related to sexism. So no one else needs to feel like they are being identified with the parties in the example unless they feel like they are on Team Whomever because message boards. Here you go again.

Anyway, here's a non-feminism example of what I mean from this very thread.

And given the history of completely dysfunctional communication between Lem and me, I’d be crazy to get anywhere near a discussion of that nature.

As long as I've known you, you've been upset that you can't make me agree with you or post the way you want me to post. You are frustrated by that and I agree it is dysfunctional.

Note the pattern here. Res points out that they have a poor history of communication (shared ownership of the problem) and Lem rolls her eyes and deflects owning any part of it as it's all due to Res trying to control her.

That's asshole behavior.

Please, you two. This was a longstanding problem between Lem and me, which is now resolved. This was a comment from Lem addressed to me. I don't want my name associated with this whole "acting like an asshole" trainwreck in any way, shape or form. The horse is dead, and you two are playing in a rotting, stinky, maggot filled carcass. I like Lem. I'm not angry at Lem. I have no grudge against Lem. I have no desire to judge Lem or her conduct.

If you simply must continue this, please, pretty please, with sugar on top, and whatever else we used to say as kids, use examples that don't involve me. If there aren't any, what the hell are you two doing?

Did I mention pretty please?

What time is it in England? I need a picture.

[honorentheos]

Hmmm. Another conundrm. On the one hand, I think you're right. In fact, I thought your point was right before you said it.

BUT, and it's a big but, I didn't see you consider that using other people's unpleasant experiences was possibly a sucky thing to do to someone to explore broad topics like the ones behind this great train wreck that I'm just doing the fun work of setting fire to the remains.

Message boards like this aren't good vehicles for abstract discussions about the topics of these threads where people end up engaged personally. Sucks it happened to you, Res. But that's how these things go. It's a good example, and for the good of society you're getting your turn on the shame shelf.

Sorry. But hey, maybe we'll all end up moving the needle a bit? You'll be fine. Right? It's good. Character building or something.

[Jersey Girl]

Barfed up, huh? Sounds like it's personal.

The posts I pointed you to apparently weren't egregious enough for you to see why they would represent asshole behavior so to help I offered the most recent example from this thread which has the added benefit of not being related to sexism. So no one else needs to feel like they are being identified with the parties in the example unless they feel like they are on Team Whomever because message boards. Here you go again.

Please, you two. This was a longstanding problem between Lem and me, which is now resolved. This was a comment from Lem addressed to me. I don't want my name associated with this whole "acting like an asshole" trainwreck in any way, shape or form. The horse is dead, and you two are playing in a rotting, stinky, maggot filled carcass. I like Lem. I'm not angry at Lem. I have no grudge against Lem. I have no desire to judge Lem or her conduct.

If you simply must continue this, please, pretty please, with sugar on top, and whatever else we used to say as kids, use examples that don't involve me. If there aren't any, what the hell are you two doing?

Did I mention pretty please?

What time is it in England? I need a picture.

Just a New York minute there.

You two?

Here is honor's original statement. Apr 25th?

Over the course of multiple threads I've found myself thinking, "If Lem didn't act like an asshole towards people it would probably make the conversation go better." But then, what do I know. I'm a guy and apparently being an asshole towards an individual due to pent up anger and frustration is not questionable because guys have been pricks towards women forever. So to speak about individual behavior is off limits.

I think that's an insurmountable problem in these threads.

posting.php?mode=quote&f=7&p=20224


Here is my request made 3 days, count em', 3 days later:

Over the course of multiple threads I've found myself thinking, "If Lem didn't act like an asshole towards people it would probably make the conversation go better." But then, what do I know. I'm a guy and apparently being an asshole towards an individual due to pent up anger and frustration is not questionable because guys have been pricks towards women forever. So to speak about individual behavior is off limits.

I think that's an insurmountable problem in these threads.

Show me where Lem began acting like an asshole towards people when she discussed the use of sexist remarks. Show us your evidence.

I'm not going to repost the exchanges. I'm willing to draw a sketch. I'm not under oath so don't hold me to the chronology.

In response he told me to look at the posts that were right above his commentary. So I hiked over to the back forty (that's a personal local ref) and couldn't find one that stood out. When I repeated my request asking him to link and quote the most glaring example, he stated that he told me to look at the post just above his commentary.

Which is not what he told me to look for the first go round. Posts v. post. It looks like he's back on the posts v. post hobby horse again for what purpose I have no idea.

In any case, I expected him to post an example that occurred prior to his 25th commentary. That didn't happen. He chose to post a more recent example. That is on him, not me. I have not and will not discuss the exchanges he's posted. Not because they involve you, but because they aren't what I asked for to start with and when did I make my request? Feels like a week ago by now.

You would think that most folks here could walk and chew intellectual bubblegum at the same time especially when it comes to a simple Q&A exchange. Apparently not. Whole lotta teeth pulling going on over here.

[Jersey Girl]

Here is another deal, honor. Just posting this so you can see what these exchanges feel and look like on my end.

Jersey Girl: You can't make this crap up. You seriously cannot.

h: Yet you just did.

Jersey Girl: Nope. Not made up. I was referring to the fact that the word asshole was used to describe two women in this forum. Lem for acting like one and myself, for asking for and/or supplying proof re:assertions for a second time.

h: I'm also curious where you see yourself being refered to as behaving like an asshole.

Jersey Girl: I named the poster who made the remark. Now. You got a search feature and...I have to go.

h: I didn't say that about you.

Jersey Girl: Nowhere did I claim that you said that about me.

h: Cool. Sounds like we are done, then.




honor,

Here is where I named the poster. It appeared just above the one line that you chose to use from my post. Nowhere in my post did I say that you referred to me as an asshole.

Shout out to Molok: Hey! I'm still being an asshole!

You can't make this crap up. You seriously cannot.

The asshole remark appears right there. The poster is named right there. I have no idea how or why you thought I was referring to you personally. Now. I will concede that the disconnect could be on my end.

But it's not on my end.

Now. If you are bored or if you are, I dunno, something else. Just say so and bow out. It's no skin off my nose if you do. I'm getting an ajax vibe over here and that's not like you.

[honorentheos]

Over the course of multiple threads I've found myself thinking, "If Lem didn't act like an asshole towards people it would probably make the conversation go better." But then, what do I know. I'm a guy and apparently being an asshole towards an individual due to pent up anger and frustration is not questionable because guys have been pricks towards women forever. So to speak about individual behavior is off limits.

I think that's an insurmountable problem in these threads.

This is my post you quoted. I assume you know you can click on the arrow in the quote and be taken to it? I referenced the exchange that happened above it - again, which you quoted - as the specific and most recent exchange that motivated me to engage. If you want to be walked through it I'll revisit later. I thought that was pretty straight forward.

As to the Molok reference...I have zero idea where or what was said between you two, and where you say, "I was referring to the fact that the word asshole was used to describe two women in this forum." is not directly linked to the reference. Given the subject of most of my posts has essentially been with one point at their heart - Lem is responding to people like an asshole using the topics of sexism and feminism as cover for behaving like an asshole - well, asking where I might have included you in that was a logical inquiry. You answered, question resolved. Too easy.

The exchange I referenced most recently has the benefit of not including sexism so the nature of it is observable without it requiring anyone but Res or Lem to feel associated with it. Since everyone from Analytics to Schmo to Moksha to Dantana to others got to have their person interactions used as object lessons for the good of discussion, well, here we are. It's a helpful one. Even if using it for my on personal motivations and aims makes someone else uncomfortable and unhappy. Message boards!

[Jersey Girl]

If there aren't any, what the hell are you two doing?

Pulling teeth, mostly.

RI this is what happens when a thread goes long. The discussion begins. People participate. The thread branches off into sub-threads--reference to the old threaded formats which I would prefer to this linear format--and then, as the thread has long passed it's expiration date, it evolves into the meta discussion as honor noted.

As I mentioned previously, this board used to observe a thread starter rule where the thread started had control over the topic and could ask people to stay on topic and/or ask moderators to split off the off topic comments. And they did.

As it stands right now, we don't even have a regularly working moderator to ask to make the splits.

So. Here we are.

The other thing is this. While I can well understand why you don't want people to discuss exchanges that have taken place between you and Lem, I've always operated under the theory that if someone has put a thing on the table then it's fair game. Just like Lem v. Analytics. Just like Cam v. Moksha. And all of the other posters who chose to comment on those sub-threads and then partake of the meta discussion.

And around and around and around it goes. The horse is beaten, buried, dug up, beaten, buried, dug up, wash, rinse, repeat, stinking carcass included. I'd personally love it if the thread starter could request that a thread be locked. But that can't happen now. I don't think it's even possible to make a motion to the board and get a timely response, much less a ruling.

I'm not going to discuss the exchanges that honor offered as examples, because that is really not what I wanted when I made my request.