On Licked Cupcakes *PG-13

[_Jason Bourne]

Interesting....They haven't had one here in NC. I thought they had finally gotten smart and done away with them.

I wish you could have seen my son's face. He looked spooked when he came out of there, and he most assuredly did not want to talk to me about it. If I had known it was a Standards Night, I might not have let him go.

Parents are invited to attend our stake standard night.

[_Runtu]

Parents are invited to attend our stake standard night.

Not ours. We didn't even know it was the Standards Night. It was billed as a regular fireside, but once they got there, the kids were split up by gender, and they got the morality lecture.

[_beastie]

You know, this demonstrates part of the problem in the LDS church - the lack of meaningful training of the lay leadership. I've heard before that some LDS leaders taught that french kissing was like oral sex, and that is, frankly, bizarre. I don't remember ever being taught that, but I was so paranoid about being sure I was "chaste" as a convert that I "confessed" french kissing with my first LDS boyfriend. My bishop shrugged it off and even acted a bit bemused that I thought I needed to "confess" it at all. Yet other leaders are running around telling the youth this stuff at "standards night"? Good grief.

I know that having a professional priesthood doesn't resolve all these problems. Even with the most extensive training some weird things get through the filter. But at least it attempts to provide meaningful, long term training of these people. In the LDS church, any joe off the street can be called as bishop, and suddenly be providing meaningful counsel to people with serious problems? Please.

[_Runtu]

You know, this demonstrates part of the problem in the LDS church - the lack of meaningful training of the lay leadership. I've heard before that some LDS leaders taught that french kissing was like oral sex, and that is, frankly, bizarre. I don't remember ever being taught that, but I was so paranoid about being sure I was "chaste" as a convert that I "confessed" french kissing with my first LDS boyfriend. My bishop shrugged it off and even acted a bit bemused that I thought I needed to "confess" it at all. Yet other leaders are running around telling the youth this stuff at "standards night"? Good grief.

As near as I can tell, maklelan has told us that the only counsel from church leaders is to not talk to members about intimacy, but many local leaders are taking it upon themselves to recommend outside resources on their own. That has the potential for serious problems, in my opinion.

I know that having a professional priesthood doesn't resolve all these problems. Even with the most extensive training some weird things get through the filter. But at least it attempts to provide meaningful, long term training of these people. In the LDS church, any joe off the street can be called as bishop, and suddenly be providing meaningful counsel to people with serious problems? Please.

Yup. It's not a bad thing to have a lay ministry, but you have to be a lot more careful about training. And in my experience, the training is almost always about improving numbers, not counseling and ministering. I know that sounds cynical, but that's been my experience.

[_KimberlyAnn]

French kissing=oral sex?

Well, at least not the Americanized version of such kissing. The French do things differently, especially in the Remulac region.

How interesting! You can't just leave us hanging here, Moksha! What do they do differently? I want to know! At least give us a hint or a link or SOMETHING! If there's any kind of oral sex with the mouth that I don't know about yet, I need to find out!

KA

[_Bond...James Bond]

French kissing=oral sex?

Well, at least not the Americanized version of such kissing. The French do things differently, especially in the Remulac region.

How interesting! You can't just leave us hanging here, Moksha! What do they do differently? I want to know! At least give us a hint or a link or SOMETHING! If there's any kind of oral sex with the mouth that I don't know about yet, I need to find out!

KA

Yeah Moksha. Spit it out!

[_mentalgymnast]

Remember the parable of the licked cupcake?

MG: yes, although I wasn't in young women's...being a male <g>. I didn't read through this whole thread, just the first two pages...so...maybe what I'm going to say has already been said.

When I look at this parable I see it as applying mainly to an ummarried young woman who has entered into an intimate sexual relationship with an unmarried young man and has become pregnant. She either marries the young man, or he hits the road. If he hits the road she is considered by other young men to be "damaged goods" or a "licked cupcake". If she marries and her husband ends up leaving for one reason or another, again she becomes "damaged goods" or the "licked cupcake". The net result is that life becomes somewhat difficult for that young lady from then on. She has a young child to care for and her prospects for further happiness and fulfillment in a marriage relationship become less likely, although possible.

In my mind, this is where the cupcake parable does make some sense.

I think that this possible outcome weighs on the minds of those that lead as they counsel with the youth of the church. I've seen this scenario play itself out within my own ward and my own extended family. More often than not, there are some unhappy consequences.

Regards,
MG

[_SatanWasSetUp]

Remember the parable of the licked cupcake?

MG: yes, although I wasn't in young women's...being a male <g>. I didn't read through this whole thread, just the first two pages...so...maybe what I'm going to say has already been said.

When I look at this parable I see it as applying mainly to an ummarried young woman who has entered into an intimate sexual relationship with an unmarried young man and has become pregnant. She either marries the young man, or he hits the road. If he hits the road she is considered by other young men to be "damaged goods" or a "licked cupcake". If she marries and her husband ends up leaving for one reason or another, again she becomes "damaged goods" or the "licked cupcake". The net result is that life becomes somewhat difficult for that young lady from then on. She has a young child to care for and her prospects for further happiness and fulfillment in a marriage relationship become less likely, although possible.

In my mind, this is where the cupcake parable does make some sense.

I think that this possible outcome weighs on the minds of those that lead as they counsel with the youth of the church. I've seen this scenario play itself out within my own ward and my own extended family. More often than not, there are some unhappy consequences.

Regards,
MG

So what you're saying is the licked cupcake parable is a way to help Mormon kids avoid getting the scarlet letter placed on them so they can fit into the judgmental culture of Mormonism. Outside Mormonism, people don't care if you are a licked cupcake or not.

[_Fortigurn]

French kissing=oral sex? WTF?

Actually that's not just a Mormon thing. I know plenty of guys (Christian and non-Christian), who say the same kind of thing. They say it's basically a form of penetration as a substitute for 'real' sex.

[_Bond...James Bond]

French kissing=oral sex? WTF?

Actually that's not just a Mormon thing. I know plenty of guys (Christian and non-Christian), who say the same kind of thing. They say it's basically a form of penetration as a substitute for 'real' sex.

Wow. Really? When I think of substitutes for "real" sex (I'm assuming vaginal) I think of anal or real oral (mouth to reproductive organs). I never heard of frenching as oral sex (and I spent 18 years in church).