LDS and stay at home moms?

[_Mercury]

See the comment from Jason that says "kiss off jerk"? Now that's an attack!

Naahhh!!! It was a defense agains an atttack.

Interpretation:

He started it

[_harmony]

Argueing against a stay at home mother is like argueing against the sky being blue. It is a basic human concept. Like shelter, food, air and love. A mother is a caregiver and teacher to her children, she makes a house a home. Whatever satrisfaction a woman gets from going out into the world and having a career is misplaced. Her carreer will not follow her into the eternities, but her children will, and if she has failed to teach them gospel principles and care for them as she should have, her inactions and misplaced efforts wil be a burning scar on her soul.

There is nothing in here that doesn't apply to fathers as well. So why should women always be the ones to stay at home, isolated from other adults, immersed in dirty diapers and crayon on the walls? If raising children was such a great thing, men would be doing it.

[_Gazelam]

There is nothing in here that doesn't apply to fathers as well. So why should women always be the ones to stay at home, isolated from other adults, immersed in dirty diapers and crayon on the walls? If raising children was such a great thing, men would be doing it.

Aside from the fact than men don't lactate, women by their nature are more nurturing. isn't this obvious? The sexs have designated roles.

Why do mothers have to be isolated from other adults? There are groups of mothers in my neighborhood who meet together in each others homes and hang out while their children play together. My wife gets invited to these things all the time. Ever heard of an SUV or Minivan? You can put all kinds of kids in those things.

Dirty diapers don't last that long, and if your kids are stacked so close together that you have two in diapers, you have issues.

Crayon on the wall stops quick when you take the paddle down from the wall peg.

[_harmony]

There is nothing in here that doesn't apply to fathers as well. So why should women always be the ones to stay at home, isolated from other adults, immersed in dirty diapers and crayon on the walls? If raising children was such a great thing, men would be doing it.

Aside from the fact than men don't lactate, women by their nature are more nurturing. isn't this obvious? The sexs have designated roles.

So you say, Gaz. But then, you're a man. And I notice you designate that the male role is the dominant, power-weilding role, while the woman's role is what you call nurturing and what I call subservient. How convenient. Are you saying men can't be nurturing?

Incidently, bottles were invented 2 generations ago. They're amazing devices that allow anyone of any gender to effectively feed a baby. You might want to get one or two. You'll be amazed at how much fun you can have at 3 am with a screaming baby, while your wife sleeps.

Why do mothers have to be isolated from other adults? There are groups of mothers in my neighborhood who meet together in each others homes and hang out while their children play together. My wife gets invited to these things all the time. Ever heard of an SUV or Minivan? You can put all kinds of kids in those things.

And the topic of conversation in these mothers' groups is... babies, diapers, babies, teething, babies, losing weight to get down to pre-baby weight, babies. You know why women want to get back into the workforce, Gaz: it's where the decisions are made, where the power is, where the money is, where freedom is! Only someone who has a deliberately rose-colored glasses view of child-rearing would put a mothers' group up against a board meeting of a multi-billion dollar company and not blush with shame. Go home, Gaz. Go home and stay there for 10 years or so, with multiple children, screaming babies, screaming toddlers, bickering pre-teens, silent moody teenagers, and a husband who is conveniently absent for a minimum of 10 hours a day during the week, and who plays golf every Saturday afternoon. Then come back and tell us how wonderful mothers' groups are.

Where I live, there are no mothers' groups. There are no pre-schools. What there is is a lot of isolation, a lot of despair, and very little support.

Dirty diapers don't last that long, and if your kids are stacked so close together that you have two in diapers, you have issues.

Spoken like a man whose never had to change them, hour after hour, day after day, month after month, for literally years.

Crayon on the wall stops quick when you take the paddle down from the wall peg.

Oh, so now you're advocating corporal punishment? That will get you a visit from CPS in my state.

[_barrelomonkeys]

Crayon on the wall stops quick when you take the paddle down from the wall peg.

I just want to mention that Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will take black marker off of a white wall! I have not found anything that the Magic Eraser can not erase!

[_Polygamy Porter]

PP

Sorry man. I did not get that you meant the post as a parody. I apologzie for my tirade.

And yes, there are elements of that mind set among many LDS. On the other hand I am reather surpirsed when I talk to ward a stake members who know my daughter and tell them what she is doing they say, at least to my face how wonderful they think this is and that she should do these things now and that she has plenty of time ofr kids, etc. We then state to each other, most who grew up as teens and young marrieds during the SWK era of marry now, don't wait, don't put off kids, etc....that maybe it would have been nice for us to have done some of these things as well.

No problem. You are being her dad. And I can be an arse sometimes :)

[_Blixa]

Crayon on the wall stops quick when you take the paddle down from the wall peg.

I just want to mention that Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will take black marker off of a white wall! I have not found anything that the Magic Eraser can not erase!

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is indeed a miracle product. It is especially good for those places "body oils" (ewww) collect, like light switches.

I've used it to clean embedded stains from vintage melmac and grime from book covers---careful, though. The eraser is made up of fine "mesh" and cleans by abrading. You can take paint off with it if you get too clean-happy.

[_Blixa]

women by their nature are more nurturing. isn't this obvious? The sexs have designated roles.

None of this "obvious" to those who read history (among other things).

My legacy consists of the useful knowledge I contribute to humanity; its usefulness will be judged historically and that's all I can ask for.

[_Yoda]

Arguing against a stay at home mother is like arguing against the sky being blue.

I don't think anyone here is arguing against being a stay at home Mom.

But I don't think that working makes you a bad Mom, either. If a woman chooses to stay at home with her kids, I think that's great.

What I object to is someone judging me because I not only work, but God forbid, I actually have an education, and work in a professional realm.

My advice to young women in general, and to my own teen-aged daughters, has been this: Marriage and children are great things. But if you approach these relationships in the right way, they are relationships that are going to last a long time. Take advantage of the window you have when you're young to complete your education. Once you have kids, there's no turning back. They will be the center of your world forever, and for the first five years of their lives, your main source of energy is going to be put into raising them. At that point, everything else takes a back seat, like it or not. So..while you're young and single....find something you're passionate about...educate yourself in that passion, so that you have a marketable skill. My oldest daughter wants to be an attorney. She's working in a law office over the summer to earn spending money for college. My younger daughter wants to be a pediatrician. They have set their goals high, and I support them in their decisions. Do I think they will make lousy mothers if they decide to work? Of course not.

I think what is being debated here, Gaz, is not whether or not being a stay at home Mom is worthwhile thing. I don't think anyone here is arguing that it isn't. What is being debated is whether or not we should be judging each other for our choices. In the Church, you have stay at home Moms judging women who work. In the corporate world, you have women who work judging stay at home Moms. I've seen it happen both ways.

I just don't understand why there has to be so much judgmentalism, especially within the Church. That, to me, seems like it should be the one place where it doesn't exist. That's what I get so infuriated about.

Why can't both choices be respected?

[_barrelomonkeys]

I think what is being debated here, Gaz, is not whether or not being a stay at home Mom is worthwhile thing. I don't think anyone here is arguing that it isn't. What is being debated is whether or not we should be judging each other for our choices. In the Church, you have stay at home Moms judging women who work. In the corporate world, you have women who work judging stay at home Moms. I've seen it happen both ways.
I just don't understand why there has to be so much judgmentalism, especially within the Church. That, to me, seems like it should be the one place where it doesn't exist. That's what I get so infuriated about.

Why can't both choices be respected?

Emphasis above is why I started this thread.

I have a degree in political science with an emphasis in pre-law. Ten years ago I was headed for law school. Children put the brakes on it. I'm now working in education. Why? So I can have the same hours and schedule as my children. I've just recently returned to the work force. I went from young college student to stay at home mother for almost 10 years. I feel I've made sacrifices. I sat at home and read and changed diapers and stimulated little minds for the last 10 years. I grieved for my own desires and dreams that will not be realized ever. For someone to judge me or what I've done is ridiculous. For someone to assume they know my life or what kind of mother I am by my work status is ridiculous.

I ENVY women that went ahead and pursued their dreams. There is a part of me that regrets not going forward and fulfilling what I yearned for all my life. I don't believe that makes them less of a mother.