What's in the Secret Church Vault?
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I have access to even deeper, more jealously gaurded levels of said vault (the key was given to me accidentally by BKP as he tried to wrestle a second earring off a 15 year old girl at a stake dance he showed up at here some time ago. It dropped out of his pocket as he attempted a Full Suplex on her, and I forgot to give it back in all the excitement).
In the dark, eldritch catacombs deep below the foundations of Church Headquarters, I found:
The Ark of the Covenant
The Spear of Longinous
The Holy Grail
The Rod of Aaron
The Staff of Moses
The coat of many colors
Wood from Noah's Ark
A piece of flagstone from a temple wall from the city of Zarahemla on which is inscribed "Killroy was here".
Charlton Heston
A set of glossy, 8x10s of Mary Magdalene and here kids on holiday in the South of France.
A single gold plate set in a stone box on which is inscribed in reformed Egyption "Klaatu, Barrada, Nicto".
A plastic Elvis lamp dating from Olmec times.
A complete set of an ancient Mayan monthly periodical published by the Mayan Medical Association called "Heart to Heart"
The Hound of The Baskervilles
The Maltese Falcon
The Brass Monkey
The Black Russian
The Pink Squirrel
Jacob's Ladder
Ezekiel's Wheel
David's sling
Goliath's medical bill
All the bodies from Hanger 18
And a very ancient woodcut that seems to portray Al Gore shivering his butt off in a snowstorm while stripping tobacco.
The Church is true folks...
In the dark, eldritch catacombs deep below the foundations of Church Headquarters, I found:
The Ark of the Covenant
The Spear of Longinous
The Holy Grail
The Rod of Aaron
The Staff of Moses
The coat of many colors
Wood from Noah's Ark
A piece of flagstone from a temple wall from the city of Zarahemla on which is inscribed "Killroy was here".
Charlton Heston
A set of glossy, 8x10s of Mary Magdalene and here kids on holiday in the South of France.
A single gold plate set in a stone box on which is inscribed in reformed Egyption "Klaatu, Barrada, Nicto".
A plastic Elvis lamp dating from Olmec times.
A complete set of an ancient Mayan monthly periodical published by the Mayan Medical Association called "Heart to Heart"
The Hound of The Baskervilles
The Maltese Falcon
The Brass Monkey
The Black Russian
The Pink Squirrel
Jacob's Ladder
Ezekiel's Wheel
David's sling
Goliath's medical bill
All the bodies from Hanger 18
And a very ancient woodcut that seems to portray Al Gore shivering his butt off in a snowstorm while stripping tobacco.
The Church is true folks...
The face of sin today often wears the mask of tolerance.
- Thomas S. Monson
- Thomas S. Monson
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harmony wrote:Jersey Girl wrote:Why are the seer stones locked up?
Good question. And I want to know why they aren't used today. What do our prophets lack that is needed in order to use them?
Well, that's kind of what I was getting at, harm. Shouldn't they be available? I'm pretty sure that someone would say that only Joseph Smith had the "gift" of using the seer stones but why assume that?
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
Chinese Proverb
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Jersey Girl wrote:Why are the seer stones locked up?
So the Prophet has them if he wants them. For all we know he might use them.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
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Re: What's in the Secret Church Vault?
Ray A wrote:[And thus, again, we see Scratch's real motive. Scratch is what we Aussies call a S*** stirrer.
Yes, he did stir you up, didn't he!
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