LDS and ex-LDS Self-Medication

[_barrelomonkeys]

As of late I've come to realize that I am indeed thankful that I'm not one of 'you'. Trust me on that. :)

[_barrelomonkeys]

Let's see, if I wanted to be an ex-Mo (not saying that ALL ex-mos do these! But what I've observed) I would have to:

1. Talk about how I NOW can show cleavage or how sexy my wife is without her garments. Nah, I'm good with always having been sexy - no need there for me!
2. Talk about sexual experiences as if they are incredibly titilatting and being turned on by absurd sexual innuendos. - Nope, don't want that either.
3. Try to overcome the indoctrination of LDS and seek a new path for my family and I. Nope - don't wanna go that route either.
4. Talk about new experiences that I should have experienced as a young adult or teenager. Nope - already did those things at appropriate age.

Oh, what else? Surely there's more! Now I'm certain that you don't want me to join the LDS Church and then have to deal with sexual repression, bizarre indoctrination and what not? Are YOU really suggesting that you think ANYONE that was never a part of the Church would be jealous (or desire to be) of one of you?

I had a reason to be here at one point PP. Now I just linger as do others on this board that have NO connection to the Church. Don't confuse interest with jealousy. :)

[_harmony]

Some things in life simply cannot be experienced vicariously. Being a member of the LDS church is one of them. It's even more difficult to understand what it means to be a BIC member. There is simply no comparison. So until and unless you know what it's like, you will never know what it's like... both the good and the bad.

What we laugh about here is only a small segment of life in the church. Cleavage, sex, alcohol, drugs... they're only a small part of what makes the church either bearable or unbearable, depending on the person. We all have different triggers. We talk about them here where we are among friends... friends who accept us even if they don't understand us. I rarely share what bothers me, or what I embrace. I am not as open as I once was (yes! she can be taught!) because I found that some of the things that have happened to me while in the church are so outrageous that even my friends don't believe some of the stories. I see some of the story and I think: there but for the luck of the draw go I.

I missed out on some of the things I should have experienced, because of the choices I made. I listen to the new Brooks and Dunn song about being proud of the house we made... and I remember how young I was when I got married, how unprepared, how vulnerable, how insecure... and I never want my kids to go through that. But making that decision wasn't a totally bad thing. Because of that, I never experienced a hangover, never had to abort an unplanned pregnancy, never wondered where my next meal was coming from, never blew my money on drugs or binge drinking. I never had a police record, never got addicted to nicotine, never worried about a sexually transmitted disease. So maybe it's not all bad.

[_karl61]

As of late I've come to realize that I am indeed thankful that I'm not one of 'you'. Trust me on that. :)

Hi BoMs:

LOL: believe me - count your lucky stars: if you sat in an LDS church every sunday from age 8 to 18 you are going to have some problems first before you learn to think right....and you may never think right - ever!

regards,

thestyleguy

[Guest]

Some things in life simply cannot be experienced vicariously. Being a member of the LDS church is one of them. It's even more difficult to understand what it means to be a BIC member. There is simply no comparison. So until and unless you know what it's like, you will never know what it's like... both the good and the bad.

What we laugh about here is only a small segment of life in the church. Cleavage, sex, alcohol, drugs... they're only a small part of what makes the church either bearable or unbearable, depending on the person. We all have different triggers. We talk about them here where we are among friends... friends who accept us even if they don't understand us. I rarely share what bothers me, or what I embrace. I am not as open as I once was (yes! she can be taught!) because I found that some of the things that have happened to me while in the church are so outrageous that even my friends don't believe some of the stories. I see some of the story and I think: there but for the luck of the draw go I.

I missed out on some of the things I should have experienced, because of the choices I made. I listen to the new Brooks and Dunn song about being proud of the house we made... and I remember how young I was when I got married, how unprepared, how vulnerable, how insecure... and I never want my kids to go through that. But making that decision wasn't a totally bad thing. Because of that, I never experienced a hangover, never had to abort an unplanned pregnancy, never wondered where my next meal was coming from, never blew my money on drugs or binge drinking. I never had a police record, never got addicted to nicotine, never worried about a sexually transmitted disease. So maybe it's not all bad.

Harmony, I have no problem with what ya'll talk about! I find it fascinating... as someone that is not the typical everyday American (nor did I have the 'typical' American upbringing) I understand quite a bit of the unique 'outsideness' that LDS may experience. My point to PP was that I do NOT desire to be one of you. He throws that in my face quite a bit. That is just ridiculous!

I have experienced quite a few hangovers! But not for 10+ years, thank goodness! Never was a pregnant teen. Never blew my money on any drugs - they were supplied for free! :) Have been addicted to nicotine - but I sure as hell looked 'cool' puffin away - so it was soo totally worth it. ;)

Never had a police record, never have had a sexually transmitted disease... but even within a happy family people stray so I suggest everyone get checked! For sure everyone realizes that even happy current LDS may cheat?

I have before wondered where I'd get my next meal! Quite a few times and was fortunate enough to have generous strangers help me out. Although I think being strapped for cash is something that does happen in the LDS culture. I know of two families just on this board alone that STRUGGLE!

All in all not so bad for me either.

Harmony, I have problems with PP beating people over the head for whatever. What's that saying you all throw about? Something about something being in your own eye? I think that would be applicable here.

[_barrelomonkeys]

As of late I've come to realize that I am indeed thankful that I'm not one of 'you'. Trust me on that. :)

Hi BoMs:

LOL: believe me - count your lucky stars: if you sat in an LDS church every sunday from age 8 to 18 you are going to have some problems first before you learn to think right....and you may never think right - ever!

regards,

thestyleguy

Well thestyleguy I have empathy for ya'll and see the struggles you all face to fit into society and leave behind the culture of LDS. I geddit! I understand! I RELATE! Is this why I'm still here? No doubt! I wouldn't wish my childhood and upbringing on ANYONE else - and don't know why Porter would assume I'd want his?

[_Jersey Girl]

Let's see, if I wanted to be an ex-Mo (not saying that ALL ex-mos do these! But what I've observed) I would have to:

1. Talk about how I NOW can show cleavage or how sexy my wife is without her garments. Nah, I'm good with always having been sexy - no need there for me!
2. Talk about sexual experiences as if they are incredibly titilatting and being turned on by absurd sexual innuendos. - Nope, don't want that either.
3. Try to overcome the indoctrination of LDS and seek a new path for my family and I. Nope - don't wanna go that route either.
4. Talk about new experiences that I should have experienced as a young adult or teenager. Nope - already did those things at appropriate age.

Oh, what else? Surely there's more! Now I'm certain that you don't want me to join the LDS Church and then have to deal with sexual repression, bizarre indoctrination and what not? Are YOU really suggesting that you think ANYONE that was never a part of the Church would be jealous (or desire to be) of one of you?

I had a reason to be here at one point PP. Now I just linger as do others on this board that have NO connection to the Church. Don't confuse interest with jealousy. :)

monkeys,

Do you allow for the very real fact that some of these people really do revel in their freedom from Mormonism? I understand that you're comments above are in reference to Porter's remarks that you deperately want to be one of "us", but even so, do you find room to try to understand that some ex-LDS enjoy their freedom out from under the watchful "eye" of the church and it's membership?

I agree with what you said about not confusing interest with jealousy. Well put!

[_barrelomonkeys]

Let's see, if I wanted to be an ex-Mo (not saying that ALL ex-mos do these! But what I've observed) I would have to:

1. Talk about how I NOW can show cleavage or how sexy my wife is without her garments. Nah, I'm good with always having been sexy - no need there for me!
2. Talk about sexual experiences as if they are incredibly titilatting and being turned on by absurd sexual innuendos. - Nope, don't want that either.
3. Try to overcome the indoctrination of LDS and seek a new path for my family and I. Nope - don't wanna go that route either.
4. Talk about new experiences that I should have experienced as a young adult or teenager. Nope - already did those things at appropriate age.

Oh, what else? Surely there's more! Now I'm certain that you don't want me to join the LDS Church and then have to deal with sexual repression, bizarre indoctrination and what not? Are YOU really suggesting that you think ANYONE that was never a part of the Church would be jealous (or desire to be) of one of you?

I had a reason to be here at one point PP. Now I just linger as do others on this board that have NO connection to the Church. Don't confuse interest with jealousy. :)

monkeys,

Do you allow for the very real fact that some of these people really do revel in their freedom from Mormonism? I understand that you're comments above are in reference to Porter's remarks that you deperately want to be one of "us", but even so, do you find room to try to understand that some ex-LDS enjoy their freedom out from under the watchful "eye" of the church and it's membership?

I agree with what you said about not confusing interest with jealousy. Well put!

Well of course Jersey Girl! I geddit. I just don't like being told by ex-Mos (and this has happened so many times on this board) that I desire to be one of them?

It is absurd. I get that they are struggling and can relate to their need to socialize and leave the old culture behind. That being said, I don't appreciate Porter and his constant need to insinuate that I would EVER want to be one of 'them'.

They are struggling with acceptance and attempting to forge a new path for themselves and figure out their new identities.

I just don't understand why Porter would assume I would want that same struggle. To me, it looks like it is a frenzy to make up for lost time... and it's sort of odd to watch. I mean it just is Jersey Girl! Perhaps they don't realize how strange it looks to an outsider?

Being in your 30's and 40's and trying to catch up on teenager/young adult experiences has to be something that is difficult. I wonder if they do sort of egg each other on though that these things MUST be caught up on? It appears from watching the social dynamics that social status may be rewarded by how much of a rebel ex-Mo they are now? I understand they're trying to feel 'normal'. I totally understand!

I just don't wanna ever have to do what they're doing. Yanno? And why Porter is so oblivious to this stuns me!

[_Gazelam]

I missed out on some of the things I should have experienced, because of the choices I made. I listen to the new Brooks and Dunn song about being proud of the house we made... and I remember how young I was when I got married, how unprepared, how vulnerable, how insecure... and I never want my kids to go through that. But making that decision wasn't a totally bad thing. Because of that, I never experienced a hangover, never had to abort an unplanned pregnancy, never wondered where my next meal was coming from, never blew my money on drugs or binge drinking. I never had a police record, never got addicted to nicotine, never worried about a sexually transmitted disease. So maybe it's not all bad.

Great post Harmony. Glad to see that song triggered a fresh perspective for you.

[_The Dude]

I've never had problems with depression. I only self-medicate to treat morning sleepiness (black coffee), and boredom (alcohol, sometimes pot). Life is good!