What do LDS men think of non-virginal women?

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_Jason Bourne
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Post by _Jason Bourne »

Yes, I agree that is still a bias reflected in the overall culture. A guy who has lots of relationship-less one night stands is a "stud", a women who does the same is a "slut".



This is grossly unfair. We need a word for men as well. Slut should apply to men as well.How about skank.
_Ren
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Post by _Ren »

Jason Bourne wrote:This is grossly unfair. We need a word for men as well. Slut should apply to men as well.How about skank.

One of my best friends is apparently known as a 'Male-slut' at his work.
...I think that's about the closest I've heard...
_Moniker
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Post by _Moniker »

RenegadeOfPhunk wrote:
Moniker wrote:Well, let me say this.... I think when you're "dating" it might be a bit different than being incredibly bonded to someone and wanting to understand them -- whatever it may be. The good, the bad, and the ugly

Oh actually, I totally agree. I think I was concentrating more on the last bit of Doc's statement: 'You are going out with their present, not their past'.

I agree - I think if both of you want to talk about it, it can be totally positive.

..it's when it gets to: 'Well, I like everything about you, but hey - X years ago you did Y, so sorry - no can do...' - that's when it's messed up...


Yes! I think there are healthy ways to approach it and non-healthy.
_beastie
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Post by _beastie »

This is grossly unfair. We need a word for men as well. Slut should apply to men as well.How about skank.


I think the current word is "Manwhore". But it's not the same, because it's kind of tongue-in-cheek. I'm not sure our larger culture will ever get completely over the sexual double standard.

Well, let me say this.... I think when you're "dating" it might be a bit different than being incredibly bonded to someone and wanting to understand them -- whatever it may be. The good, the bad, and the ugly



My bf and I have been together ten years, and know every last little wart and burp about each other's past. And we entertain each other with certain repeated stories about said past. ;)

Although I was totally chaste after joining the LDS church (with the exception of some petting with my future husband, which we confessed and repented of prior to marriage), I felt morally obligated to tell my future husband I was not a virgin. He acted ok with it, and didn't probe, but on the honeymoon, he started asking for details. naïvely trusting him to be, you know, like my boyfriend who would never probe my past in order to HURT me but instead only to UNDERSTAND me, I told him. I think that's what set off the first round of verbal abuse on the honeymoon. I really think he saw me as tainted somehow. The irony is that HE didn't tell me until we'd been married FOR YEARS that he and his first wife had premarital sex regularly when dating as teenagers in the church. I was shocked, considering how he reacted to my PREBAPTISM history.

So, yes, I think that in a healthy relationship it's very normal to share a lot about your past. My boyfriend knows things about me no other human being knows, or will ever know. :P
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.

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_Blixa
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Post by _Blixa »

The Nehor wrote: I think this is true but if with the Holy Ghost and them without you match A's intelligence....that means you're inferior all things being equal.


Apparently the HG was no where to be found when you composed this sentence.
From the Ernest L. Wilkinson Diaries: "ELW dreams he's spattered w/ grease. Hundreds steal his greasy pants."
_DonBradley
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Re: What do LDS men think of non-virginal women?

Post by _DonBradley »

Dr. Shades wrote:Although I heard about all the "licked cupcake" lessons, I never really bought into them.


Yeah, bud, as I recall, you were too hungry to care!

;-)

Don
_The Nehor
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Post by _The Nehor »

Blixa wrote:
The Nehor wrote: I think this is true but if with the Holy Ghost and them without you match A's intelligence....that means you're inferior all things being equal.


Apparently the HG was no where to be found when you composed this sentence.


How do you know this isn't my upped intelligence?
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
_beastie
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Post by _beastie »

I will never forget the brief fad on MAD of declaring one's IQ. It was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen.

Remember "The Glory of God is Intelligence", and that intelligence come from the quickening effect of the Holy Ghost. That's why believers score so high on online IQ test.
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.

Penn & Teller

http://www.mormonmesoamerica.com
_DonBradley
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Post by _DonBradley »

Hey Blixa (purrr),

for what it's worth, we had 'cupcake' and similar object lessons in the mixed-gender Sunday School classes.

One interesting thing about LDS culture is that the young men are taught that they should be setting sexual limits in dating, not relying on the girls to do so. I don't know how successfully this message is driven home, but it is taught, quite a bit. This strikes me as being at odds with what I know of the larger culture (even pre-sexual revolution), in which women and girls are expected to set and hold the standards, while it's anticipated that men will push them as far as they'll go.

At least in terms of teaching, it seems to me that LDS culture promotes a double standard less than does, or has, the broader culture.

This isn't to say remotely, of course, that men and women are granted equal status within the culture. But I'd be curious what your experience is with respect to the LDS church promoting a double standard of sexual behavior.

Don
_Moniker
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Post by _Moniker »

beastie wrote:I will never forget the brief fad on MAD of declaring one's IQ. It was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen.

Remember "The Glory of God is Intelligence", and that intelligence come from the quickening effect of the Holy Ghost. That's why believers score so high on online IQ test.


I missed that! Too bad! I also score high on those on-line IQ tests -- what's that tell 'ya about reliability? ;)
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