Is "Mormon happiness" the one and only true happin

[_Sam Harris]

The lingering hermaphroditic monkey in the corner is still causing tension. Hopefully with time, it will pass.

LMFAO, ok, I just found a new sig line...

[_Infymus]

Much of this comes from Mormon perceptions.

Those of us who left the Cult are seen as "hateful" and whatever other words they want to call us. Basically, people like myself don't put up with Mormon BullS* anymore. We don't bow our heads and say yes. We don't talk the Cult talk. We are no longer "nice" when talking about Cult meetings, Cult books, Cult music, Cult life.

And because of this, we are perceived as not being happy.

Mormons pretend to be happy because if you are not happy, then there must be some kind of hidden sin. Have you paid a full tithing? Have you prayed? Are you looking at places you should not look?

Mormonism never was happiness to me. It was a constant state of denial - a constant state of cognitive dissonance. And when I began to unravel parts of the so-called "gospel" that I was having issues with, I was given the "milk before meat" statements and eventually told to physically stop trying to figure things out that it would only lead to darkness.

Little did I know then that it would actually lead me to happiness - no longer being a Cult member.

You know what made me smile? Driving up I-15 in my new MX5 convertible (now that the temps are coming up), getting off on 6th South downtown - seeing a smiling picture of Gordon B. Stinky (his stupid-a$$ billboard memorial) - and flipping him off.

I am very happy.

[_silentkid]

Mormon happiness looks like befuddled Whitaker.

[_Sam Harris]

Mormon happiness is going to church with your family on Sunday.
Non-mormon happiness is going to the beach with your family on Sunday.

Mormon happiness is going to seminary at 6:00 in the morning.
Non-mormon happiness is going to the gym at 6:00 in the morning.

Mormon happiness is attending the ward dinner on Frida night.
Non-mormon happiness is going to the movies on Friday night.

There can be a difference between Mormon happiness and non-mormon happiness, but what I've heard is non-mormons may say they are happy, and they may have some happiness, but they don't have the fullness of joy that comes from the gospel.

Also, sethbag hit on an important thing, the perceived unhappiness of the apostate. If you no longer associate with a bunch of members from church, you may appear to be lonely and unhappy. When the ward is having an activity at the church, and of course the apostate is not there, obviously he can't be having as much fun as they are at the activity, therefore he must be sitting at home miserable.

There is a transition period as you begin to drift away from Mormon culture and fill the void with whatever. This transition can appear like unhappiness to a Mormon, but for most of us it isn't a big deal, and we're much happier living life on our own terms. I imagine also it depends on the attitude of the TBM spouse (if there is one). If the TBM spouse is unhappy living with an apostate, it is assumed the apostate is also miserable, and it is all caused by the apostacy.

Even though I am a theist, I haven't been all that eager to get involved in church lately. People turn it into too much of a duty. I mean, I see people from time to time who go to the church that I was thinking about joining, and they always make a point of saying they haven't seen me at church. What irritates me is that these are people who are at least twice my age, yet they have no idea the health problems I've been facing. Look, I think God understands that one side of my brain is not working properly (did I just open Pandora's Box? Yes...), and I get damn tired at the end of each day. The weekends are time for me to unwind, and I really don't feel like having my timecard stamped at church right now, hearing about what I should be feeling as a believer in God. Bite me.

I'm never quite sure what to say when these older people lecture me about "making time for God". As if that can only be done in the church on the corner at 11:30 on sunday...

[_Yoda]

The weekends are time for me to unwind, and I really don't feel like having my timecard stamped at church right now, hearing about what I should be feeling as a believer in God. Bite me.

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

I love you, GIMR!

:)

Edited to add---I have this image of these shocked little old ladies, mortified as GIMR tells them "Bite me!" Great stuff! LOL

[_Sam Harris]

When I started questioning, and eventually when I made my exodus, I was called hateful. I had one person say he saw smoke coming from his computer screen when reading my posts.

Well...

I write what I think, but it takes a lot to inspire hatred in me. The church hasn't succeeded in doing that yet. But I guess to those who cannot understand a life without it, folks like us are hateful. We won't bend and we won't break anymore.

[_Sam Harris]

The weekends are time for me to unwind, and I really don't feel like having my timecard stamped at church right now, hearing about what I should be feeling as a believer in God. Bite me.

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

I love you, GIMR!

:)

Edited to add---I have this image of these shocked little old ladies, mortified as GIMR tells them "Bite me!" Great stuff! LOL

They'd probably whup me and tell my mother.

P.S. Love ya too, Liz! I think we're still coming your way in April...

[_Yoda]

They'd probably whup me and tell my mother.

If your Mom is anything like mine, she would tell them to "bite her"! LOL

P.S. Love ya too, Liz! I think we're still coming your way in April...

Awesome! Looking forward to it! Drop me an email or give me a call when the time gets closer so we can figure out details.

:)

[_unwell3398]

This is my first post. Hi everybody!

I'm not trying to put anyone down in my response, it's just how I see it.

I've constantly heard members of a church (such as the Mormons) tell an ex-member that they've lost that glow they used to have, and that they don't seem as happy as before, even if that person is great. I think it's true that the perception is that the person isn't the same, because they're not, but not because they're unhappy or due to "losing the spirit."

When I was a Mormon, when I felt that I knew the truth and was special and above sin, I felt wonderful. It's like knowing a secret and being in this amazing club that makes you feel...special. When I started to truly use my head and heart and decided the church was not true, it was a shock to know that what I felt I knew wasn't true, and that those feelings were for nothing. Sure, I guess I didn't glow with "truth" anymore because I no longer felt like I had it. I just started my life all over again and was actually quite happy with all of the new experiences I was having. Of course, it's a different feeling than when you're in God's "one true church," but it's no less important, or real. And personally, I know in my heart I've been happier than I ever was as a member of the Mormon church.

[_moksha]

I had a conversation with a fellow exmo yesterday who said his family told him recently that he doesn't seem happy like he did when he was active. I know him well, and I perceive he is MUCH happier now as an exmo.

What does "happiness" look like? Is it different in Mormonism than non-Mormonism?

My take is that "Mormon happiness" is created by...Mormons! It looks like humble, quiet talk...a teary, smily look at church (showing gratitude for being blessed with the gospel), a slightly fatigued look that indicates much hard work for the Lord...and no conflict.

Is this the same as "normal happiness?"

It is tricky when it involves Mormons, is it not? Had it not been a Mormon family that was making an observation opposite of your own, then we could just chalk it up to them observing different behaviors at different times, and you could both be right. Add Mormon to the mix and they would definitely have to be subscribing to some deficient and altered form of the concept of happiness.