Sam Harris wrote:Still trying to find the connection between cheaters and victims, but I'll make it before the end of the day.
That's just it. . . there is no correlation.
The only correlation is that there are some aspects of people that other people don't feel like dealing with. For example, if I was still single, I probably wouldn't date a girl who wore a cowboy hat, a bola tie, cowboy boots, and listened to country music all day.
Is there anything wrong with her? No. Is she "damaged goods?" No. Should I love her with Christlike love? Yes. I just don't think I'd want to deal with that in a life partner is all.
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"
I have something else to state about "life partners" -- and I'm stomping through the tulips at the moment.
How many men from the LDS culture or left the culture wish their life partners were MORE sexual? I know quite a few!!! :D Yet, could it be (let's just think for a moment here fellas) that maybe the way ya'll view women and their sexuality has a bit to do with this as well???
So, which is it? You SAY you want a certain woman and then bitch 'cause she doesn't put out after you marry her... hmm...
Find a woman to marry that is pristine and "perfect" then bitch 'cause she doesn't give out? I think there is the madonna/whore complex that runs RAMPANT in this culture!
But Shades, a person can change what they wear. You can't change what someone has done to you. No one should be deemed undesirable because of that. Girlfriend could take off that hat at any time and be attractive to you...but the rape you can't remove...
I like what Moniker said about people perceiving what issues people who have been molested have. Many don't want pity, many aren't as neurotic as people fear they are...but they do hurt just like anyone else.
I'm sorry, but I feel it selfish for people to rule someone out of what could be a fulfilling relationship just because of their perceptions about how they think a person will react about something they know little about.
"I don't want to deal with you, because you were abused, and I don't want to deal with any emotional issues you might have."
Think about how that sounds.
Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. -Ghandi
Moniker wrote:Find a woman to marry that is pristine and "perfect" then bitch 'cause she doesn't give out? I think there is the madonna/whore complex that runs RAMPANT in this culture!
Agreed. The Madonna/Whore complex is rampant in the LDS Church. It's the "excuse" for celestial polygamy. Supposedly, there are more women that will make it to the Celestial Kingdom than men because women are supposed to be so much more spiritual than men.
And yet, men hold the priesthood...men are basically put in a parental role as stewards over their wives, etc. Ridiculous!
Sam Harris wrote:But Shades, a person can change what they wear. You can't change what someone has done to you. No one should be deemed undesirable because of that. Girlfriend could take off that hat at any time and be attractive to you...but the rape you can't remove...
I like what Moniker said about people perceiving what issues people who have been molested have. Many don't want pity, many aren't as neurotic as people fear they are...but they do hurt just like anyone else.
I'm sorry, but I feel it selfish for people to rule someone out of what could be a fulfilling relationship just because of their perceptions about how they think a person will react about something they know little about.
"I don't want to deal with you, because you were abused, and I don't want to deal with any emotional issues you might have."
Think about how that sounds.
I thought about it. It sounds realistic.
All this being said, there's the possibility that I could fall in love with someone with this problem again and be able to see past it. The heart is a crazy and unpredictable thing. I won't be seeking it out though. I demand the right to have issues too.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics "I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
It's so stupid, people want for folks to understand where they're coming from, what they've been through...but when it's time for them to actually have to return the favor...then they're problems.
That's the hallmark of an emotionally immature person, in my opinion. You don't want to have the chance to be that compassion that saves someone, but you want someone to be that in your life. Uh-huh.
Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. -Ghandi
Sam Harris wrote:If you demand the right to have issues, then you need to be open to the rejection you're so eager to mete out, Nehor.
Take what you want so eagerly to give.
I do, regularly and often. I'm lucky in that most of the girls I've dated lately are mature enough to be able to tell me why they're not interested and I try to return the favor when I'm not interested. It works out fine and is a lot less painful.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics "I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
I'm still 100% against ruling someone out because of something that happened to them that they might be dealing with in a healthy manner. I'm not talking about people who have codependency issues or addiction issues, but nice, caring people who may still be mending broken hearts.
That was me. I was terrified of a good person because of what I'd been through. Had he had the attitude you've been espousing Nehor, who knows who would have been next in line...yet another loser who would have been ashamed to call me his, who would have treated me as if I mattered little, who would have used my body had I let him...list goes on...
But someone was strong enough to see through and withstand the fear and issues. And I'm returning the favor. It's called unconditional love. We don't have enough of it in this world today. We have plenty of self-preservation, though. Ironic that those who are busy preserving themselves are often doing it alone...
Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. -Ghandi
Sam Harris wrote:I'm still 100% against ruling someone out because of something that happened to them that they might be dealing with in a healthy manner. I'm not talking about people who have codependency issues or addiction issues, but nice, caring people who may still be mending broken hearts.
That was me. I was terrified of a good person because of what I'd been through. Had he had the attitude you've been espousing Nehor, who knows who would have been next in line...yet another loser who would have been ashamed to call me his, who would have treated me as if I mattered little, who would have used my body had I let him...list goes on...
But someone was strong enough to see through and withstand the fear and issues. And I'm returning the favor. It's called unconditional love. We don't have enough of it in this world today. We have plenty of self-preservation, though. Ironic that those who are busy preserving themselves are often doing it alone...
I would see that person not being me as a gift from God then.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics "I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo