Ahhh crap...now my son doesn't want to go to Church!

[_Gazelam]

Its your duty as a father to cuff him in the back of the head and tell him to do as hes told.

duh

[_Bond...James Bond]

And he's already decided he is not going on a mission.

Oh yeah! Praise the Lord!

[_Boaz & Lidia]

Its your duty as a father to cuff him in the back of the head and tell him to do as he's told.

duh

Hey numbuts, society calls that CHILD ABUSE.

[_Boaz & Lidia]

For those of you who haven't followed the Cinepro saga, here's the short version:

Married 12 years, 3 kids (Son:10, Daughter:8, Daughter:3) Wife knows of my doubts, and is fine, but we don't talk about it. I attend church every week and enjoy it. I've run the Cub Scouts for the last 3 years, and put a lot of energy into it. Bishop of our last ward knew about my doubts, but I haven't really met our new bishop yet in our new ward. I have born my testimony in our new ward 2x (never said anything that wasn't true, just had some really good things to share), and pay my tithing and show up at all the EQ service assignments, so he probably assumes I'm TBM. We have family prayer and read scriptures together a couple times a week. FHE every week.

So here's the problem. My son doesn't want to go to Church. He hates it. He doesn't believe anything (haven't asked talked too much about it, but he may be an atheist). He thinks the Bible stories are stupid. He hates to pray. He is an excellent student at school and his school teacher loves him, but he won't behave in his Primary class. Last week, he asked to go to the bathroom and just wandered the hall for the rest of the time (in what he called his "act of courage"). I considered that he may just be acting out and trying to be a little rebellious, but my wife and I make a much bigger deal about school and Cub Scouts, so I would think he'd pick one of those if that was it.

So my wife an I are at wits end. And I'm drowning in irony, as you all are thinking that Cinepro's chickens have come home to roost. But I sincerely don't think I've treated my son too differently than my dad treated me, and I was a rabid TBM at the age of 10 (had already read the Book of Mormon!) I believed everything, hook-line-and-sinker. I even bought the hemispherical geography for the BoM- that's how far I was out there! For some reason, my son has just failed to connect to the Church at any level other than Cub Scouts.

And he's already decided he is not going on a mission.

So I'm in the odd spot of forcing my son to go to Church and pretend to like it, but I can't tell him I know how he feels since I feel the same way about a lot of the stuff! I've already told my wife I will not force him to go to early morning seminary (I'm not a morning person anyway), or put any pressure to go on a mission. But we've got to figure out what to do about Church, since I'm still going, and he can't stay home alone. We'll be doing carrot/stick in the meantime, but I need to find a longer-term solution if this isn't just a phase.

Your son has bigger balls than his dad. Show your son that his dad will stand with him.

[_why me]

I don't want to rain on someone's parade but the boy is just 10. Usually at 10, there can be a rebel streak inside the veins attempting to burst open. It is really no big deal. 10 year olds are just children who may pretend to have the mind of an adult but really at 10, I did not know much about life nor the world. I just lived day by day playing. And I remember my mind changing every month.

Speak to him at his level. Tell him you understand but church is the place to be at 10 and not staying home alone. He will come around. But if he gets any whiff of a parent's doubt in the faith, well, a different 'game' will begin.

[_Boaz & Lidia]

I don't want to rain on someone's parade but the boy is just 10. Usually at 10, there can be a rebel streak inside the veins attempting to burst open. It is really no big deal. 10 year olds are just children who may pretend to have the mind of an adult but really at 10, I did not know much about life nor the world. I just lived day by day playing. And I remember my mind changing every month.

Speak to him at his level. Tell him you understand but church is the place to be at 10 and not staying home alone. He will come around. But if he gets any whiff of a parent's doubt in the faith, well, a different 'game' will begin.

Like you were/are a model Mormon father? Good freeakin god man you have admitted to being inactive for the past 30 years.

[_why me]

I don't want to rain on someone's parade but the boy is just 10. Usually at 10, there can be a rebel streak inside the veins attempting to burst open. It is really no big deal. 10 year olds are just children who may pretend to have the mind of an adult but really at 10, I did not know much about life nor the world. I just lived day by day playing. And I remember my mind changing every month.

Speak to him at his level. Tell him you understand but church is the place to be at 10 and not staying home alone. He will come around. But if he gets any whiff of a parent's doubt in the faith, well, a different 'game' will begin.

Like you were/are a model Mormon father? Good freeakin god man you have admitted to being inactive for the past 30 years.

Maybe so. But I do have children. A ten year old is a ten year old. They are not adults and their minds can be like the weather, always changing and shifting. But with reasoning and understanding the weather can at times be controlled.

On a side note: my children always had an inactive parent. But I was a good parent nonetheless. :=)

[_Boaz & Lidia]

I don't want to rain on someone's parade but the boy is just 10. Usually at 10, there can be a rebel streak inside the veins attempting to burst open. It is really no big deal. 10 year olds are just children who may pretend to have the mind of an adult but really at 10, I did not know much about life nor the world. I just lived day by day playing. And I remember my mind changing every month.

Speak to him at his level. Tell him you understand but church is the place to be at 10 and not staying home alone. He will come around. But if he gets any whiff of a parent's doubt in the faith, well, a different 'game' will begin.

Like you were/are a model Mormon father? Good freeakin god man you have admitted to being inactive for the past 30 years.

Maybe so. But I do have children. A ten year old is a ten year old. They are not adults and their minds can be like the weather, always changing and shifting. But with reasoning and understanding the weather can at times be controlled.

On a side note: my children always had an inactive parent. But I was a good parent nonetheless. :=)

Just to clarify, just not a good active Mormon parent. Big difference in mormondom.

So what he have here is you a believer who does not attended but forces his children to go, and on the other hand we have cinepro who does not believe, but attends, and is trying to decide if he should force his child to attend.

[_The Dude]

But if he gets any whiff of a parent's doubt in the faith, well, a different 'game' will begin.

That's the point. If Cinepro intentends to realize the true father-son relationship, then a different game has to begin at some date. My son is the same age as Cinepro's and I know what I would do.

(Not to say I know what's best in Cinepro's particular mixed marriage.)

[_Sethbag]

I think the kid should just stay home if he wants to. I think my daughter was babysitting at 10ish or so, so why not?

I don't really like the euphemism "my doubts". You either believe it's true, or you don't. I've always been under the impression that Cinepro doesn't. I guess I'm wrong. However, if Cinepro didn't actually believe that the church was true, then why the heck would he want to force his son to act like a TBM, and presumably become one?

I think what's happened is that Cinepro doesn't really believe it anymore, and the son has picked up on that and knows it's OK not to believe it, and he's just not going to put up with the BS. Good for him.

You should feel lucky, Cinepro, that you've got a smart boy who isn't afraid to use his noggin for more than just holding up his hat. I hope you have the eventual satisfaction of knowing his mind is unencumbered by the kind of crap keeping people like Gazelam, Will Schryver, Nehor, and BCSpace and others on this board holding onto the false beliefs of Mormonism.

Cinepro, tell me this. Would you want your son growing up believing the way Gazelam does? You know, Flood of Noah, Fall of Adam, no evolution, and all? I rather doubt you do. Then stop trying to force your boy into the TBM mold, because Gazelams are what comes out of it as often as not. Either that, or you'll end up with a kid that has to literally fool themselves into believing what they really don't want to believe, but feel that they should, and so they find a way. That's no way to live, IMHO. And I doubt you'd really want that for your son.