Missionary Journal & Depression

[Guest]

"Commanded to be happy." Commanded. To be happy.

And if you're not happy, then you're being... Disobedient. You're sinning.

Wow. If that's not a recipe for Prozac, then I don't know what is.

-------------------

That being said, I came across my missionary journal about a year ago. I'll spare you the details, but it was really sad. What was so sad about it? Because what was in the joural was complete and utter BS. I know what I was feeling, but what I wrote reflected Nehor's Mormonology. The pictures, too. Smile smile smile. Everything is great. Smile smile. Man. Crazy. A perpetual facade.

I burned the journal. :)

[_beastie]

I think you are/were mistaken. Clinical depression proves it. Now the ball is in your court. You would have to prove that this "teaching" is doctrinal for your point to be made.

LDS teachings of ultimate perfection can lead one to feelings of inadequacy which can lead to depression if one is falling short. But I think this is typically a result of incomplete understanding of the doctrine of perfection and/or failing to look at perfection in the context of living in a fallen world and the potential effect of the mercies of Christ.

Depression isn't necessarily the result of unrepented sin. It can be though.

Gee, how did I know believers would rush to the "it ain't doctrine" argument...

First, to clarify, what I was recorded was a statement my MTC teacher made. It also reflected what I had been taught in the LDS church in general.

I'm certainly not mistaken about the fact that this is a common LDS teaching. The quibble about whether or not it's "doctrine" is entirely irrelevant in regards to the impact that this idea has on LDS people. It's only on the internet that believers parse endlessly about what doctrine is, and whether or not some specific teaching is doctrine, and it's mainly an apologetic tool in order to deal with problematic statements of past prophets. I never heard LDS people in real life debate about whether or not a teaching was "doctrine" - they didn't care. They weren't interested in such technicalities. If something was taught frequently in the LDS church or taught by the prophet, then that teaching had a great impact on LDS thought. Do you deny this??? I don't recall a single sacrament talk (or general conference talk, for that matter) in which the speaker told members that they could ignore any teaching that wasn't DOCTRINE.

The idea that depression is either a result of personal sin or personal weakness is very common in LDS culture.

I do agree with this statement of yours:

LDS teachings of ultimate perfection can lead one to feelings of inadequacy which can lead to depression if one is falling short.

Everyone falls short. I think that this "perfection cycle" can result in depression and anxiety as well. Perhaps this is one reason why anti-depressant use in Utah is so high. Do you have evidence that the GAs are attempting to rectify this very common "incomplete understanding"? When I was in the church we had a constant barrage of reminders and scoldings about all the things we were failing to do, and how important each one of those things were to God (missionary work, home teaching, etc). There was no context provided that neutralized these messages. (like: when you are a busy person you have to make priorities and may not be able to meet all these demands and there is nothing wrong with that.)

At least it appears that LDS culture is making progress in terms of willingness to seek professional help. That was viewed with suspicion to a certain extent when I was active, and members were encouraged to seek LDS counseling first. (which was worthless in my experience)

[_beastie]

Bond has written an excellent article on this issue, as a sufferer of depression, himself. Everyone should read this article. It is very well-written:

Yes, bond's essay is very insightful. It demonstrates that the stigmatization of depression is not unique to the LDS culture by any means. However, in my experience, adding the component of religious guilt on top of the already present stigma is even more harmful.

[_beastie]

That being said, I came across my missionary journal about a year ago. I'll spare you the details, but it was really sad. What was so sad about it? Because what was in the joural was complete and utter b***s***. I know what I was feeling, but what I wrote reflected Nehor's Mormonology. The pictures, too. Smile smile smile. Everything is great. Smile smile. Man. Crazy. A perpetual facade.

I burned the journal. :)

Yes, mine was full of the facade, too, as well as the constant self-exhortations to be shiny happy. I remember conversations with other missionaries about this - in France, I think the majority of us struggled with some degree of depression. How could we not? We had doors slammed in our faces almost 10 hours a day. I remember my DL saying that he wanted to wake up every morning feeling like it was Christmas, because we were getting to serve the Lord!! Happy happy day!! I felt the same way, and felt constant guilt over the fact that I didn't like what I was doing.

I am not a person prone to depression (although I have several family members who are), but on my mission, at one point, I was so depressed I couldn't leave our tiny little one room closet/apartment without bursting into tears.

[_truth dancer]

The teaching that depression is caused by sin, (or even Satan as I have heard many times), was rampant in the LDS church, official doctrine or not. (sigh)

I have often stated that there are some nice teachings in the LDS church but also some very damaging ones... the idea that depression is a sin and through repentance and prayer God will take it away is one of the most damaging of all.

How would it be if someone got cancer, and rather than seeing their doctor they went to their Bishop who told them to repent and pray and all will be well? It is ridiculous to even contemplate yet for some reason within the church there are those who think depression is a result of sin, that a Bishop is the person to go to for help, and repentance is the way to heal.

Depression is a medical illness requiring professional help, not repentance, snake oil, midnight rituals, or an animal sacrifice over the alter.

I have spoken with dozens of LDS women (a few men) over the years who have taken this "depression is the result of sin" teaching to heart, only to suffer in silence, trying to figure out what they are doing wrong, praying with all their heart, only to slide deeper into depression, feeling more and more unworthy. To all those who still believe this nonsense, guess what... prayer and repentance didn't work.

Now, as Liz pointed out I have seen a few small, little baby steps to change this mindset. I know of a couple of stakes that are addressing the issue, a few Bishops who do not counsel those with depression but suggest they receive professional help, and some members who disagree with this teaching when they hear it. So, yes I do think the teaching will diminish over time, but the leaders of the church could certainly squelch this nonsense with one talk in general conference.

Not to derail the thread but it is completely inappropriate for Bishops and other church leaders to play therapist. I don't care if the issue is abuse, marriage difficulties, or depression, they often do much more harm than good.

~dancer~

[_malkie]

...

How would it be if someone got cancer, and rather than seeing their doctor they went to their Bishop who told them to repent and pray and all will be well? It is ridiculous to even contemplate yet for some reason within the church there are those who think depression is a result of sin, that a Bishop is the person to go to for help, and repentance is the way to heal....

~dancer~

Not wishing to threadjack, but:

How would it be if someone got cancer, and rather than seeing their doctor they went to their Bishop or home teacher who gave them a blessing that, through their (the sick person's) faith they would be healed. And how would it be if the healing did not take place.

Anyone ever hear of such a thing?

In my stake, several years ago, there was a young man with macular degeneration. The bish organized a prayer circle of all of the MP holders in the ward and blessed the man that, through his faith, he would be healed, and soon. Didn't happen.

And if you were the person who was not healed under these circumstances, wouldn't you feel that you were such an unworthy wretch, lacking in faith, ...

[_The Nehor]

Could you supply your definition of depression? What is depression, Nehor?

Here's a few definitions:

Me after spending too long on these boards. ;)

My previous loser roommate.

People who need meds and don't take them.

Not enough electroshock therapy.


And Beastie said I was clueless.....HA!!!! Take that.

[_The Nehor]

And if you were the person who was not healed under these circumstances, wouldn't you feel that you were such an unworthy wretch, lacking in faith, ...

Perhaps the person was an unworthy wretch lacking in faith.

[_malkie]

And if you were the person who was not healed under these circumstances, wouldn't you feel that you were such an unworthy wretch, lacking in faith, ...

Perhaps the person was an unworthy wretch lacking in faith.

You still surprise me sometimes, Nehor - and not always in a nice way. (;=<

I never had such an experience, but as an active member I constantly felt that I could never be good enough, never sacrifice enough, never be strong enough, never perform my callings well enough...

The "joy" was greatly lacking. That was one of the motivations for my total inactivity.

If my best efforts when I was at my "peak" of activity and devotion were not enough, there was no point in continuing. So I didn't.

[_The Nehor]

And if you were the person who was not healed under these circumstances, wouldn't you feel that you were such an unworthy wretch, lacking in faith, ...

Perhaps the person was an unworthy wretch lacking in faith.

You still surprise me sometimes, Nehor - and not always in a nice way. (;=<

I never had such an experience, but as an active member I constantly felt that I could never be good enough, never sacrifice enough, never be strong enough, never perform my callings well enough...

The "joy" was greatly lacking. That was one of the motivations for my total inactivity.

If my best efforts when I was at my "peak" of activity and devotion were not enough, there was no point in continuing. So I didn't.

That was mostly a joke.