They can speculate but I am not permitted to explain

[Guest]

Please, the circumstances of Dan's meeting with this member are very common and occur in many aspects of life.

Before we get carried away with too many Monsonesque tales of good neighborism, I would be interested to know who it is that prepares the dossiers that have been produced for Church disciplinary councils and BYU continuing-status reviews. I have heard from several sources that when certain folks came to such meetings, there was a rather thick and annotated dossier of materials that they were not allowed to peruse, but which clearly contained information about them.

I am not one to emphasize the "sinister" angle, but I do know that I would be disturbed if I were placed in such a predicament.

[_bcspace]

I have been advised to not speak with ward members about the basis for my concerns.

Sorry, I don't buy it.

[_Jersey Girl]

Just commenting on this one thing and following that, I don't plan to further contribute to this thread.

Here's a work exmaple. A supervisor asks one employee to mentor another person who's work quality is of concern to the supervisor. The supervisor asks that the mentor does it on an informal basis and without telling this person that it was the supervisor's idea.

Good and effective mentoring relies on a solid foundation of mutual trust and respect between mentor and prot'eg'e Failure to disclose is not conducive to constructing such a foundation.

[_harmony]

I have been advised to not speak with ward members about the basis for my concerns.

Sorry, I don't buy it.

Predictable.

[_bcspace]

I have been advised to not speak with ward members about the basis for my concerns.

Sorry, I don't buy it.

Predictable.

That's because, as it is for most critics of the Church, the tale doesn't match reality.

Oh come on! Let us embed more than two quotes. What's the harm?

[_harmony]

That's because, as it is for most critics of the Church, the tale doesn't match reality.

And you can speak with authority about all 12.5 million church members' experience.

Horse manure. You might try reading the Scott Gordon piece, although I doubt it will penetrate the willful deafness.

[_bcspace]

That's because, as it is for most critics of the Church, the tale doesn't match reality.

And you can speak with authority about all 12.5 million church members' experience.

Are there 12.5 million critics who are former Mormons?

[_harmony]

Are there 12.5 million critics who are former Mormons?

mms isn't a "former" Mormon. He's an active member. He doesn't even qualify as a critic. If you can't tell the difference, I'm going to have to start questioning your powers of discernment.

[_Dr. Shades]

Oh come on! Let us embed more than two quotes. What's the harm?

The harm is that it clutters up the board and makes it less readable.

[_dblagent007]

Please, the circumstances of Dan's meeting with this member are very common and occur in many aspects of life.

Lets start with a church example. A bishop of a ward asks a couple to throw a party and invite a bunch of people over that the couple does not know very well (other active members that the couple is not particularly well acquianted with). He asks the couple not to tell the invitees that the party was the Bishop's idea. A good time was had by all and the people genuinely feel that they have formed some solid friendships.

My bishop would never do this. I have had several bishops in my family, and none of them would ever do this. The idea is ludicrous. If the bishop wants to have a party, he tells his wife and she puts it together.

Actually, I put this example in because I had a Bishop that made this very suggestion. He suggested that my wife and I hold a party and invite three or four other families that he specifically named. His family was not on the list. His purpose, as far as I know, was to create more interaction between members. He wanted it to look like we were doing this on our own rather than being forced to hold a party by the bishop. That way the people that were invited would believe that we were inviting them simply because we wanted their company. I know, it was deliciously sinister!

Here's a work example. A supervisor asks one employee to mentor another person who's work quality is of concern to the supervisor. The supervisor asks that the mentor does it on an informal basis and without telling this person that it was the supervisor's idea.

This would never happen in my office. Only official mentoring is allowed. Otherwise, the mentor is liable to be skewered by the mentee.

This hasn't happened to me, but I could easily see it happening. The mentor would most likely be someone that was already a friend that could possibly offer some suggestions to the mentee without the mentee becoming defensive because, you know, it was coming from the boss.

Here's a community example. One neighbor informs another that the widow down the street broke her hip and that it would be nice if the neighbor would use his new tracked snow blower to remove the snow in the widow's driveway. The neighbor in the know asks that the other neighbor not mention that it this was being done at his suggestion.

Again, I don't see any reason to hide. If Mrs Widow asks who suggested Mr Snow Blower clean her driveway, Mr Snow Blower can just say Mr Neighbor suggested it and Mr Snow Blower agreed. No need to take all the credit for himself.

Okay, the reason the neighbor in the know asks the snow blowing neighbor not to tell is that he wants the widow to believe that other neighbors on the street care about her - that he is not the only one that is willing to go out of his way to help her. It has nothing to do with whether the snow blowing neighbor gets to take sole credit.

That which is hidden is suspect. The answer is always... why?

Yeah, but sometimes people can do good things in secret. Think of the secret santa people, anonymous donors, etc.