I'm gonna grab you to be one of my plural wives in the CK

[_Jason Bourne]

A vibrating toy for... him? Somehow that just seems... backwards.

No, it is for him to use on you......

[_harmony]

You guys crack me up!

[_Jason Bourne]

Exactly. With all due respect, how in the world would you expect a faithful LDS man to learn how to be good in the sack? He doesn't have the benefit of feedback from multiple (more experienced) partners; he doesn't view pornography, which for all it's downsides would probably give him lots of new ideas, and he probably doesn't talk about it with his friends to get advice. And most LDS-"approved" books on the subject are too embarrassed to talk about it with enough detail to be helpful and have to resort to sugary euphemisms.

Sorry I disagree. I figured all this out with being with only one woman. yea at one point I bought a sex instruction book from Barnes and Nobles. That is where I found out about the G spot. My wife was very happy about that. But really just experimenting, communicatind about what felt good and what did not and taking time with my bride has led to a wonderful sex life for both of us.

Unless he is open to feedback from you (and you are able to give it to him), or he is brave enough to browse the gentile sex self-help section at Borders (it's the shelf with all the pink and red books), a wife may be out of luck

And there you have it.

[_Jason Bourne]

Do you think I haven't tried? When have you ever known me to just sit quietly and endure? But at some point, I expect my partner to remember what works, instead of the constant "what do you want?" Hell's bells! After 10,000 opportunities and teaching moments, don't you think he'd know what I want by now? And don't you think he'd do it? But no... after nearly 38 years, he still does the same ol' thing that doesn't work, after asking me "what do you want?"

Sigh.....I am sorry for you.

For the past several years, he's had a problem with control. Of course he blames it on me... I've asked him to speak to the doc about it, but he conveniently forgets it when he's there for his quarterly visits. I mean, I'm not averse to a little blue pill!

The blue pill works great for erectile dysfunction. I needed it after a major surgery I had a few years ago that caused me some slight problems and my wife said that Viagra really was not for men but for the woman. Really it is for both!

And another thing: this is the man who gets upset because I refuse to wear my g's at night. It's taken me years to finally figure out what works as far as my body temperature goes. Wouldn't you think he'd be glad to have a naked woman in bed with him? But no, he fusses about it. I'd like to buy some pretty lingerie to sleep in, but I know he'd just fuss when I didn't wear g's under it.

Wow! G's under the lingerie. I guess there are LDS guys who take the g thing to far.

[_harmony]

I'm gonna re-arrange your post to reply to it, harm.

Do you think I haven't tried? When have you ever known me to just sit quietly and endure? But at some point, I expect my partner to remember what works, instead of the constant "what do you want?" Hell's bells! After 10,000 opportunities and teaching moments, don't you think he'd know what I want by now? And don't you think he'd do it? But no... after nearly 38 years, he still does the same ol' thing that doesn't work, after asking me "what do you want?"

I need a lover, one who really knows what he's doing. I wonder if I could find one in a blue light special in the Valentine section? I'm telling ya, I can't endure this for eternity. I'll do whatever I have to do to avoid enduring this.

But he IS a lover who knows what he's doing. He asks you what you want.

After 38 years of me responding to that question, don't you think it's about time he knows the answer???? I mean really... how many times do I have to say it? "Do this! Don't do that!" I mean... really? How many times? Is 10,000 enough?

Maybe you should say, "what you're doing right now, that's what I don't want you to do" and reorient him ;-). You got a good man there, harm.

Good for some things, yes. Not so good at others.

For the past several years, he's had a problem with control. Of course he blames it on me... I've asked him to speak to the doc about it, but he conveniently forgets it when he's there for his quarterly visits. I mean, I'm not averse to a little blue pill!

Go with him next time.

Don't you think 57 years old is old enough to go to the doc by yourself?

Hmm...then go get something pretty that isn't considered "lingerie" and work your way up to actual lingerie. There are tons of pretty nightshirts for example. How about wearing your g's but just the tops? Tell him you've suddenly reached a point of compromise.

Uh huh.

It's a matter of layers. Because of so many years of fibromyalgia, I can't abide anything but the silkiest fabric against my skin, and now with the lovely hot flashes that come with my age, I can't abide layers and I have to be able to throw whatever it is off in a fluid motion when the heat flashes. And is there a reason they silky nightie can't be pretty? The ones I have would look great on his mom.

So... anything over one layer of silky fabric is too much, and 2 pieces are 2 pieces too many. And he fusses about "covenants". I'm like... when God wants to stop the hot flashes, I'll put the g's back on. I'm not worried about God. But DH fusses so much, it's irritating, which is definitely a mood blocker.

(I can't believe I'm discussing this on an internet bulletin board. Good grief... )



.

[_Jersey Girl]

A vibrating toy for... him? Somehow that just seems... backwards.

No, it is for him to use on you......

There are some exchanges that I could have never predicted would take place on this board. This is one of them.

[_harmony]

No, it is for him to use on you......

There are some exchanges that I could have never predicted would take place on this board. This is one of them.

Kinda like the time I taught about 200 chatters about oral sex, one of which was Pres Monson's granddaughter.

Some things ya just can't predict.

Too funny!

[_Jersey Girl]

You: After 38 years of me responding to that question, don't you think it's about time he knows the answer???? I mean really... how many times do I have to say it? "Do this! Don't do that!" I mean... really? How many times? Is 10,000 enough?

Me: Then stop talking and engage in physical guidance. A little Sam Cooke never hurt anything either. Sam Cooke is a god.


You: Good for some things, yes. Not so good at others.

Me: If he's got a pulse, he can be fixed.


You: Don't you think 57 years old is old enough to go to the doc by yourself?

Me: Not if he's not talking about these issues. You have a stake in this, go talk for him.



You: It's a matter of layers. Because of so many years of fibromyalgia, I can't abide anything but the silkiest fabric against my skin, and now with the lovely hot flashes that come with my age, I can't abide layers and I have to be able to throw whatever it is off in a fluid motion when the heat flashes. And is there a reason they silky nightie can't be pretty? The ones I have would look great on his mom.

You: So... anything over one layer of silky fabric is too much, and 2 pieces are 2 pieces too many. And he fusses about "covenants". I'm like... when God wants to stop the hot flashes, I'll put the g's back on. I'm not worried about God. But DH fusses so much, it's irritating, which is definitely a mood blocker.


Me: Here's what to do. Get off your hot ass and go to the mall. There are tons of pretty silky things at JC Penney, Nordstrom, Dillards and Macys. Buy a two piece set, light the candles, whip off the bottoms and tell him you're keeping your covenant with HIM.


You: (I can't believe I'm discussing this on an internet bulletin board. Good grief... )

Me: Me either. I have two more words of wisdom for you: hotel room.

Just as an aside, I doubt some of us will be posting tonight.

[_Jersey Girl]

I'm conceptualizing now, harm.

Sam Cooke: Come on and let the good times roll. We're gonna stay here till we soothe our souls, if it takes all night long.

See? It's a religious experience.

[Anonymous]

This is going to be TMI but this topic really doesn't embarass me so what the heck. (must have been all those human biology classes in college)

Even if the man didn't know anything about the clitoris, the very act of sexual intercourse in missionary position rubs against it, causing stimulation and orgasm. (I'm speaking from personal experience) So, I'm really puzzled how a woman can never experience pleasure if her husband isn't aware of where it is. Sure it's helpful in achieving climax faster but direct stimulation is not the only way. After the first orgasm, the others come very easily.

This may be your own experience; but please do not insist that this should work for all women (though I don't deny it works for some). It doesn't.

There is also a vaginal orgasm that is much more pleasurable than the other. (G-spot)

So some people find. Not all.

There is a huge variety of sexual response in women, and what arouses some has little effect on others. What some need in order to experience pleasure, some do not need or even want. And that is just speaking of physical aspects. If one over-generalizes and inexperienced people assume you are right, it can cause a lot of confusion and disappointment.

I should have worded that more clearly.
I'm not insisting that all women should orgasm from standard sex, but am making the point that the clitoral stimulation DOES occur there, even if the guy is unaware of where it is or it's function. There are obviously several factors that can contribute to climax and one of them is mental. Every person and couple is unique on what works for them but there are some basic facts that I wanted to point out.