Confessions of a Transgender Mormon: an excerpt
Dear Diary,
Tonight, I step out of my two tone shoes as Randy [deleted] and delicately into the white pumps of Rachel [deleted]. I must confess with a mix of shame and guilty pleasure, I’ve managed to secure two dates for tonight’s Spring Dance. The first is Jacob Evanston, a fresh RM from Lehi. He’s always been a somber individual (as he tells it), but he has recently come out of his shell, and dyed part of his hair blond against his mother‘s wishes. The second beau is (Moderator Note)in real life information deleted., resident of Ogden by way of Walla Walla Washington. He hasn’t served a mission, which is most naturally a strike against him, but there is something intent in his eyes. It’s like…fiery burning passion, I’ve seen him defend the faith on Facebook and I do declare, it can make a lady’s fur purr.
Oh Diary, I know you’re wondering how a girl trapped in a boy’s body is taking two Peter Priesthoods to the Spring Fling, but they don’t know of my real life, only the feint glimmering side of my true self via my Facebook. I had asked both, thinking both would reject me, but the Heavenly Father has blessed this chaste damsel, and not only did they both agree, neither would take no for an answer! They both insisted on escorting me, even with the other present!
Oh this will be a night to remember Diary! May the Spirit dwell within me!
Yours,
Ravishing Rachel [deleted].
New literary game! Try it out!
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_MrStakhanovite
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Re: New literary game! Try it out!
MrStakhanovite wrote:Confessions of a Transgender Mormon: an excerpt
Dear Diary,
Tonight, I step out of my two tone shoes as Randy deleted.and delicately into the white pumps of Rachel deleted. I must confess with a mix of shame and guilty pleasure, I’ve managed to secure two dates for tonight’s Spring Dance. The first is Jacob Evanston, a fresh RM from Lehi. He’s always been a somber individual (as he tells it), but he has recently come out of his shell, and dyed part of his hair blond against his mother‘s wishes. The second beau is (Moderator Note)in real life information deleted., resident of Ogden by way of Walla Walla Washington. He hasn’t served a mission, which is most naturally a strike against him, but there is something intent in his eyes. It’s like…fiery burning passion, I’ve seen him defend the faith on Facebook and I do declare, it can make a lady’s fur purr.
Oh Diary, I know you’re wondering how a girl trapped in a boy’s body is taking two Peter Priesthoods to the Spring Fling, but they don’t know of my real life, only the feint glimmering side of my true self via my Facebook. I had asked both, thinking both would reject me, but the Heavenly Father has blessed this chaste damsel, and not only did they both agree, neither would take no for an answer! They both insisted on escorting me, even with the other present!
Oh this will be a night to remember Diary! May the Spirit dwell within me!
Yours,
Ravishing Rachel deleted
Holy crap! I can't stop laughing!
+10000
"I'm on paid sabbatical from BYU in exchange for my promise to use this time to finish two books."
Daniel C. Peterson, 2014
Daniel C. Peterson, 2014
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_honorentheos
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Re: New literary game! Try it out!
“So this is it”, thought Princess Lehi. The prom at Alderaan Royal preparation Academy for Future Leaders of the Empire was supposed to be the highlight of that time others referred to as “the best years of your life“. Yet, Lehi felt there was something behind the glazed lost look of longing in the eyes of those who said such pithy things. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but it seemed like their voice betrayed more of a wish of what might have been rather than a memory of some real, never-to-be-forgotten moment?
That is, she thought that until Darth Moronihah had asked her to the prom. Sure, Moronihah’s family had odd beliefs. She still wondered how a person living in an age where interplanetary travel was as normal as picking up a gallon of blue milk at the bazaar could believe that all living beings would be “saved” by some fictional Alderaaniod-like male being executed for treason on another planet in a galaxy far, far away. But still, he was Moronihah! The cutest guy in the academy! And he had asked her to the prom! Her, Lehi! Now sure, some of the more bitchy girls claimed it was because she was the daughter of the Organa’s and destined for leadership. And the boys suddenly showing interest in her suggested that she should give Moronihah the cold shoulder as he was just using her to get the attention of the Empire’s military heads by being seen with an Organa…even if it was only Lehi. She shuddered at the thought of the note she had found in her locker, a crudely lettered piece with a pencil drawing of Mormonihah with lightsabre drawn and aimed at what would have been an obviously blushing Lehi…if her dress wasn’t pulled up over her face. But if there was anything Lehi knew about Moronihah’s beliefs it was that he never would draw his lightsabre until they had clasped hands and tied the ribbon.
And that was why she had allowed herself to be left alone with Moronihah in the hover-limo when the rest of their group date had gone into the school.
“I bleached my hair for you, just the top,” Darth M said, watching the last of his friends go in. Lehi didn’t notice, but Moronihah smiled slightly when his bestie, Bruco-Fett, gave him a knowing wink before letting the doors close behind him.
Lehi was intoxicated by the attention Darth had been giving her all night, making sure the popular kids she never spoke with before were always aware of her cute, special quirks. It was this intoxication that caused her to not flinch when Mormonihah moved in to kiss her. And she hardly noticed as Darth grasped her hand as their kissing became more passionate. But the shock of feeling her hand suddenly being rubbed against the oddly warm metal of the shaft in his belt brought her usual clarity of mind snapping back in less than a parsec.
“Darth, no…,” she whimpered. It wasn’t that she didn’t wonder about his lightsabre; what it would look like, how it would feel in her…hand. But she knew she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t even sure if she liked lightsabres yet. Maybe she was more of a pistol or laser-crossbow kind of girl. What stopped her just grabbing hold of his hilt was the knowledge that she was destined for the Imperial Senate, and her father was counting on her to gain a position of trust.
“So, this is it,” she thought again. She wasn’t carrying protection from lightsabres. And she doubted that Moronihah would have thought of it, since his religion might frown on the use of protection. She wondered if she should fight or just let it happen.
Then Moronihah said something that changed both of their lives. “The force, it guides us both Lehi. I was raised to believe it was only something that would move mountains, and cause simple bread to become emblems of a person that we will never hear of in this galaxy if it weren’t for a young boy who was given a metal book. But then, I was taught that there was more! More! And it can be ours, Lehi! All you have to do is grab my shaft and raise my sabre!
She didn’t know why, but this thought caused her to cry out in her soul, “Verily, verily, if there is such a being as Moronihah believed in, and this force is real, then help me! Please!”
Suddenly, a blue glow filled the space around them, and a long shaft of light appeared at the far end of the hover-limo. The glow from the shaft slowly revealed the features of a blond young man wearing all black…and holding his own sabre in his hand!
“Who are you?!” Darth demanded, though he couldn’t hide the sudden fear he felt from his voice. He knew he had placed his eternal soul in jeopardy by trying to get Lehi to hold his sabre and he wasn’t sure if this other person in the limo was real or a vision.
“I….am her brother,” the young man said quietly. “And I have been manifest here by mitoclorian shifts in the universe causing my spiritual self to appear here unknown to my physical, and sadly annoying farm boy self on a planet far from here.
“Mitclorians?” Lehi asked.
“Forget about them,” the young man seemed to decide after hearing someone else say it for the first time. “They kind of kill the coolness of it. Just go with the force. It will sell more movie tickets.”
“Tickets?” Lehi asked, becoming even more confused.
“Look,” the young man said, “we are already way past the word count limit that Stak gave for this story, so let’s cut to the chase. I am going to chaperon you both the rest of the night. And after it’s all done, I will be gone. But you need to know that you are destined for greater things than this would-be Darth has in mind for you. The Organa’s aren’t just royalty, they are the seed planters of a rebellion that will change everything, causing a third of the souls of this galaxy to be cast on to another planet in a galaxy far, far away transported by Xenu when the empire is overthrown. And you will be the key to make this happen.”
“How can this be so?” Lehi wondered aloud.
“All things are possible with God, sister,” the young man said. “Er, I mean with the force.”
“Then behold the handmaid of the force!” Lehi exclaimed.
“By the way,” the young man said, “there are two things I feel impressed to tell you before we join your friends at the prom.”
“What’s that?”
“First, Lehi is a crappy name. Only a crazy dreamer of dreams would go by that name. Leia, now that has a sexy ring to it. Someone named “Leia” could bend men to her will, even wearing the most odd hair styles imaginable. Trust me, men are kinky and they’ll think anything is hot when you have a name like that.”
“So what’s the second thing?”
“You should start working out.”
“Why? Because I’ll be running around a lot as part of this rebellion you spoke of?”
“No. Because you’ll have to wear a titanium bikini in the last movie. So, hey, let’s get the party started!”
The young man gave Darth a kick in the arse, scuffing up the polish on his black dress shoes in the process of shoving him out of the limo and towards the doors.
“Damn magic underwear,” the kid thought.
That is, she thought that until Darth Moronihah had asked her to the prom. Sure, Moronihah’s family had odd beliefs. She still wondered how a person living in an age where interplanetary travel was as normal as picking up a gallon of blue milk at the bazaar could believe that all living beings would be “saved” by some fictional Alderaaniod-like male being executed for treason on another planet in a galaxy far, far away. But still, he was Moronihah! The cutest guy in the academy! And he had asked her to the prom! Her, Lehi! Now sure, some of the more bitchy girls claimed it was because she was the daughter of the Organa’s and destined for leadership. And the boys suddenly showing interest in her suggested that she should give Moronihah the cold shoulder as he was just using her to get the attention of the Empire’s military heads by being seen with an Organa…even if it was only Lehi. She shuddered at the thought of the note she had found in her locker, a crudely lettered piece with a pencil drawing of Mormonihah with lightsabre drawn and aimed at what would have been an obviously blushing Lehi…if her dress wasn’t pulled up over her face. But if there was anything Lehi knew about Moronihah’s beliefs it was that he never would draw his lightsabre until they had clasped hands and tied the ribbon.
And that was why she had allowed herself to be left alone with Moronihah in the hover-limo when the rest of their group date had gone into the school.
“I bleached my hair for you, just the top,” Darth M said, watching the last of his friends go in. Lehi didn’t notice, but Moronihah smiled slightly when his bestie, Bruco-Fett, gave him a knowing wink before letting the doors close behind him.
Lehi was intoxicated by the attention Darth had been giving her all night, making sure the popular kids she never spoke with before were always aware of her cute, special quirks. It was this intoxication that caused her to not flinch when Mormonihah moved in to kiss her. And she hardly noticed as Darth grasped her hand as their kissing became more passionate. But the shock of feeling her hand suddenly being rubbed against the oddly warm metal of the shaft in his belt brought her usual clarity of mind snapping back in less than a parsec.
“Darth, no…,” she whimpered. It wasn’t that she didn’t wonder about his lightsabre; what it would look like, how it would feel in her…hand. But she knew she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t even sure if she liked lightsabres yet. Maybe she was more of a pistol or laser-crossbow kind of girl. What stopped her just grabbing hold of his hilt was the knowledge that she was destined for the Imperial Senate, and her father was counting on her to gain a position of trust.
“So, this is it,” she thought again. She wasn’t carrying protection from lightsabres. And she doubted that Moronihah would have thought of it, since his religion might frown on the use of protection. She wondered if she should fight or just let it happen.
Then Moronihah said something that changed both of their lives. “The force, it guides us both Lehi. I was raised to believe it was only something that would move mountains, and cause simple bread to become emblems of a person that we will never hear of in this galaxy if it weren’t for a young boy who was given a metal book. But then, I was taught that there was more! More! And it can be ours, Lehi! All you have to do is grab my shaft and raise my sabre!
She didn’t know why, but this thought caused her to cry out in her soul, “Verily, verily, if there is such a being as Moronihah believed in, and this force is real, then help me! Please!”
Suddenly, a blue glow filled the space around them, and a long shaft of light appeared at the far end of the hover-limo. The glow from the shaft slowly revealed the features of a blond young man wearing all black…and holding his own sabre in his hand!
“Who are you?!” Darth demanded, though he couldn’t hide the sudden fear he felt from his voice. He knew he had placed his eternal soul in jeopardy by trying to get Lehi to hold his sabre and he wasn’t sure if this other person in the limo was real or a vision.
“I….am her brother,” the young man said quietly. “And I have been manifest here by mitoclorian shifts in the universe causing my spiritual self to appear here unknown to my physical, and sadly annoying farm boy self on a planet far from here.
“Mitclorians?” Lehi asked.
“Forget about them,” the young man seemed to decide after hearing someone else say it for the first time. “They kind of kill the coolness of it. Just go with the force. It will sell more movie tickets.”
“Tickets?” Lehi asked, becoming even more confused.
“Look,” the young man said, “we are already way past the word count limit that Stak gave for this story, so let’s cut to the chase. I am going to chaperon you both the rest of the night. And after it’s all done, I will be gone. But you need to know that you are destined for greater things than this would-be Darth has in mind for you. The Organa’s aren’t just royalty, they are the seed planters of a rebellion that will change everything, causing a third of the souls of this galaxy to be cast on to another planet in a galaxy far, far away transported by Xenu when the empire is overthrown. And you will be the key to make this happen.”
“How can this be so?” Lehi wondered aloud.
“All things are possible with God, sister,” the young man said. “Er, I mean with the force.”
“Then behold the handmaid of the force!” Lehi exclaimed.
“By the way,” the young man said, “there are two things I feel impressed to tell you before we join your friends at the prom.”
“What’s that?”
“First, Lehi is a crappy name. Only a crazy dreamer of dreams would go by that name. Leia, now that has a sexy ring to it. Someone named “Leia” could bend men to her will, even wearing the most odd hair styles imaginable. Trust me, men are kinky and they’ll think anything is hot when you have a name like that.”
“So what’s the second thing?”
“You should start working out.”
“Why? Because I’ll be running around a lot as part of this rebellion you spoke of?”
“No. Because you’ll have to wear a titanium bikini in the last movie. So, hey, let’s get the party started!”
The young man gave Darth a kick in the arse, scuffing up the polish on his black dress shoes in the process of shoving him out of the limo and towards the doors.
“Damn magic underwear,” the kid thought.
The world is always full of the sound of waves..but who knows the heart of the sea, a hundred feet down? Who knows it's depth?
~ Eiji Yoshikawa
~ Eiji Yoshikawa
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_Bond James Bond
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Re: New literary game! Try it out!
Everybody Wang Chung wrote:The high school graduation party was totally awesome. It was 1985 and this would be the last time Nemesis, Skylla and Pahoran would be together for a long time, and it made them MAD. Nemesis would be leaving shortly for his internship with Seattle Ghost Writer. Skylla and Pahoran were going to live “At The Beach” for a while and then spend some serious time working on their acne.
At school these three were inseparable and it was a literal nerd fest wherever they went. They always clung to each other as tightly as that three flavored string cheese they sell at Walmart that is orange, yellow and white. The orange and yellow probably being a mild Cheddar, and the white being a Mozzarella, although it could possibly be Swiss or just plain American, and it really doesn’t taste different from the orange or yellow, yet the cheese company would have you believe it does by coloring it differently. The cheese company must think we are idiots.
Skylla was especially going to miss this place and the many unique opportunities life in the city afforded. Nowhere else could you find a transgendered man wearing a turban with a Saturday’s Warrior jacket working in a lesbian bookstore, but hey Skylla was just glad Nemesis and Pahoran were able to find work.
Best!
Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded.-charity 3/7/07
MASH quotes
I peeked in the back [of the Bible] Frank, the Devil did it.
I avoid church religiously.
This isn't one of my sermons, I expect you to listen.
MASH quotes
I peeked in the back [of the Bible] Frank, the Devil did it.
I avoid church religiously.
This isn't one of my sermons, I expect you to listen.
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_Wisdom Seeker
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Re: New literary game! Try it out!
Monica was so very excited to be asked out on her very first date to the Sweethearts’ ball of Saddle Brook High School of Saddle Brook, New York. Monica was instructed as a young girl to follow LDS guidelines as found in the “Strength of Youth” pamphlet and postpone all dating until she was sixteen years of age. Steve who was almost seventeen at the time had always had a crush on Monica and was excited when Monica accepted his date proposal.
Steve seen in the picture to the right had bleached the top of his hair a few days prior to the date. He had prepared meticulously the events of the night and even had time to help his mother decorate the school auditorium for the ball. Steve who thought he was prepared for the evening would soon find out that things don’t always go as planned.
When Steve came to pick up Monica, her father who was unaware of his daughters date became enraged to find out that his daughter was not following the church guidelines exactly as the pamphlet said, because there was no additional couple to accompany them for a double-date. Monica’s father was well versed in what were in the guidelines because of his role as Bishop in the church.
As Monica began to cry and Steve looking for some way to leave, Monica’s father came up with a plan to send his young 15 year old son Dave to double-date with them. Dave being only fifteen years old was not really allowed to date another person, but was allowed to accompany his sister and her date to the ball.
Fast-forward nine years later; Dave and Steve are very good friends, celebrating life, and their role in the Broadway musical, The Book of Mormon, and rejoicing that the state of New York now approves same-sex marriages.
Steve seen in the picture to the right had bleached the top of his hair a few days prior to the date. He had prepared meticulously the events of the night and even had time to help his mother decorate the school auditorium for the ball. Steve who thought he was prepared for the evening would soon find out that things don’t always go as planned.
When Steve came to pick up Monica, her father who was unaware of his daughters date became enraged to find out that his daughter was not following the church guidelines exactly as the pamphlet said, because there was no additional couple to accompany them for a double-date. Monica’s father was well versed in what were in the guidelines because of his role as Bishop in the church.
As Monica began to cry and Steve looking for some way to leave, Monica’s father came up with a plan to send his young 15 year old son Dave to double-date with them. Dave being only fifteen years old was not really allowed to date another person, but was allowed to accompany his sister and her date to the ball.
Fast-forward nine years later; Dave and Steve are very good friends, celebrating life, and their role in the Broadway musical, The Book of Mormon, and rejoicing that the state of New York now approves same-sex marriages.
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_MrStakhanovite
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Re: New literary game! Try it out!
Hey, there is no Randy deletedthat is a member of this board, what kind of BS is that?
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_Doctor Scratch
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Re: New literary game! Try it out!
MrStakhanovite wrote:Hey, there is no Randy deletedthat is a member of this board, what kind of b***s*** is that?
Lol.
"[I]f, while hoping that everybody else will be honest and so forth, I can personally prosper through unethical and immoral acts without being detected and without risk, why should I not?." --Daniel Peterson, 6/4/14
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_MrStakhanovite
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Re: New literary game! Try it out!
My last name is Smith, and I wanted that protected. Now go around a delete every instance of the word please.
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_Doctor Scratch
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Re: New literary game! Try it out!
MrStakhanovite wrote:My last name is Smith, and I wanted that protected. Now go around a delete every instance of the word please.
I bet he was just pounding away on the "Report" button. The poor moderators probably felt overwhelmed.
"[I]f, while hoping that everybody else will be honest and so forth, I can personally prosper through unethical and immoral acts without being detected and without risk, why should I not?." --Daniel Peterson, 6/4/14
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_MrStakhanovite
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- Posts: 5269
- Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 3:32 am
Re: New literary game! Try it out!
It doesn't make any sense. Who is gonna google Randy deleted and immediately link it to someone with a totally different first name, and no context to go off of? Rachel deleted isn't even the same sex! What kind of precedent is this? Now if it even resembles a name it must be deleted? If a name shares 3 phonemes with a protected name the red pen comes out?
Which jack booted nazi did this?
Which jack booted nazi did this?