I've Been Asked to Teach on a Very Strange Subject at Church

[_Buffalo]

There is your answer!

Spend the majority of your time teaching the class the history of correlation ... then as the Moral of the story, drop back to the concept that, Christ is at the helm, and it is surely his plan that we should all be correlated Mormons (of course put this in a form they will need to chew on for a bit to get the jest of it) Then finish up with your testimony of how wonderful it is that you can walk into any chapel in the world on any given Sunday, and hear the exact same gospel plan taught there. Of course, be subtle but get the point across that the same pabulum feed to the deacons quorum is also feed to the EQ and HP groups … all across the world! What a beautiful baby!

Somehow getting in a mention of the old school of the prophets, and somehow relating that nicely to the always good “looking beyond the mark” should keep you well away from the teeth of the trap. A mention or two about the intelletuals being the enemy of the church should fit right in here.

Ooh, I like that.

[_DarkHelmet]

How long can that lesson take? "When giving a lesson stick to the manual and don't use outside sources. Now, who wants to play hangman?"

[_LDS truthseeker]

When discussing the Correlation Committee, make sure you bring up how the church changed things in the teachings of the prophets to make it seem as if Brigham Young and the other early leaders only had one wife (changed wives to wife, etc.)

Another fun idea, just for kicks, when you come into the class, bring in a bunch of so-called 'Anti-Mormon' books like The Tanners 'Shadow or Reality', 'Who Really Wrote the Book of Mormon', 'Mormonism and the Magical World View', etc. Don't use them, just put them on the table to freak out the guy that asked you to teach.

HA!

[_malkie]

Don't worry. If you don't do it the way they want, they'll just make you do it over again, with the approved wording, and an edited-in "cough-track".
I think you would find yourself in good company.

You could even pre-emp them by preparing a recording ahead of time - just to show that you know what it is to be obedient.

[_karl61]

I think they taught this stuff in deacon, teacher and priest quorums when they could have just taken each year and focused on a missionary discussion and had us memorize it and know the concepts very well.

[_Fence Sitter]

My wife thinks that correlation came into being so in case someone visited a different ward they would still be on the same lesson. Why that is important is not clear.

To prevent divisions in the church. Be of one mind is what the Bible claims. And this brings peace within the church. An example: the church of england or the episcopal church. Not to mention the lutheren church with its many divisions from within.

http://www.hs.fi/english/article/Fricti ... 5268720006

Do you realize how Orwellian this is or, if you are LDS, how much it sounds like the plan Satan proposed? A large part of the plan of salvation is to bring us here to this earth so we can make our own decisions, to see if we will be obedient in all things. The Church should be encouraging people to make decisions rather then preventing them from doing so.

[_Called2Swerve]

Do you realize how Orwellian this is or, if you are LDS, how much it sounds like the plan Satan proposed? The whole point to the plan of salvation is to bring us here to this earth so we can make our own decisions. The Church should be encouraging people to make decisions rather then preventing it.

There is your answer, the church is true, Joseph Smith was a true prophet, the Book of Mormon is true, but Satan has found his way into the one true church through stratagem and the creation of correlation committee to fulfill his goal to take away free agency. Even the very free agency of the FP and Q12.

[_RockSlider]

Hello, my name is consiglieri and I'm an intellectual

God grant me the serenity to accept the correlation teachings;
courage to avoid Satan's teachings (everything else) ;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Then bear down in pure testimony of how deeply you fell, with your bottom being booted from the MAD board and relegated to the dredges of the trailer park. How you have pained your love ones and left your leaders with so many sleepless nights, seeking after your lost soul.

Forsaking all, in your uncontrollable addiction, your sickness and total inability to turn away from, that weekly search for lesson material outside of the church authorized material.

Yes consiglieri, bear your soul, confess and testify of how even that first peek outside is worse that crack cocaine in wrapping one in the chains of hell and Satan's total domination of your soul.

Yea, you my brethren, who might be tempted, look upon this broken man and venture not in to temptation!

Then see if you can work up a few tears, or at least are so distraught as to not be able to continue, and turn the time back over to the guy who invited you to speak.

[_The Nehor]

I think you should proceed with caution, Consig. They are probably laying a trap for you--trying to see if you'll be obedient, or whether they should go ahead with their plans to frame you as an apostate.

The scary thing is I think you might actually believe that.

Do you need sense knocked back into you?

[_The Nehor]

Do you realize how Orwellian this is or, if you are LDS, how much it sounds like the plan Satan proposed? A large part of the plan of salvation is to bring us here to this earth so we can make our own decisions, to see if we will be obedient in all things. The Church should be encouraging people to make decisions rather then preventing them from doing so.

It started out small. First we forced school teachers to teach a standard curriculum. Then we did the same in the LDS church. Now we live in a Satanic Orwellian mind-control dystopia.

Or you're using mindless hyperbole. One of the two.

Since agency does not mean the right to teach whatever you'd like when representing an organization I am going to go with the latter.