Ideas to Make General Conference Better

[_Darth J]

Gladys Knight giving a talk about how Heavenly Mother is black.

[_asbestosman]

Personally, I enjoy organ music. Still, it might be fun if they could find a way to incorporate, say, a Theremin.

[_Darth J]

Similar to D&C 7, a revelation regarding the current operations of the Church, in which we learn of a secret, hidden parchment relating the story of Jesus inviting the moneychangers into the temple.

[_The Mighty Builder]

Having Thurl Bailey and Gladys Knight reveal that they are Elohim and Eloher Number 1.

[_Nightlion]

I think Monson would fit in the blue preaching outfit, he looks to be about the same size.

I think I have mentioned this before, the power of the Holy Ghost is not the dull drone of cardboard cut outs. No matter how much they speak saying Holy Ghost, Spirit, Spirit Spirit. I think the blue DJ is jacking up the people and in no way has the Spirit and power of the Holy Ghost. That said, King David brought up the Arc of the Lord dancing with his might, to the utter shame of his wife. The worship of God with all our heart, might, mind and strength would engage a greater or lesser degree of movement as one cannot contain it and be still. Neither are the words spoken by the power of the Holy Ghost a sonorous drone fest. The form of godliness is killingly dull, the power of godliness, albeit denied as yet, would make all the difference.

Man, I would love a chance to invent the culture of a real Zion. It would be spectacular and not stupid or boring or trite at all. Is that YouTube I hear calling me?

[_MrStakhanovite]

A Nightlion rock concert, with Chris Smith on vocals.

[_sock puppet]

Other Ideas..

Have a musical number done by the Pussy Cat Dolls.

Change the dresses that the Motab choir wears to something that does not look like colored garbage bags.

Have live updates of football scores on signs.

Have each speaker have a 3 shots of tiquila before giving their talk

When speaking on modesty the should show pictures of what is considered imoddest.

When speaking on chastity the should show film clips of what necking and petting actually is.

When speaking on gay marriage they should show pictures of hot girls kissing and tell us why that is wrong.

When speaking about the word of wisdom they should show video clips on what happens to girls when they have too much tiquila.

When talking about porn they should show examples of what they mean by porn.

Even just something like the 'services' at Sunday morning brunch at the House of Blues would be outstanding.

[_moksha]

And then we can have people dance to the music on stage, and plant dancers in the audience who get up where they are at and begin dancing in the aisles.

The sky is the limit.

Okay, why not set a Guinness world record with a 23,000 participant indoor Sunday drum circle. This rhythmic worship could help dislodge many wooden sticks in the descending colon, grown over a lifetime of General Conferences.

[_Hades]

Why not just boycott the lame crap? As long as there are brainwashed zombies looking on, they won't ever have to change a thing.

[_Hades]

Okay, why not set a Guinness world record with a 23,000 participant indoor Sunday drum circle. This rhythmic worship could help dislodge many wooden sticks in the descending colon, grown over a lifetime of General Conferences.

Did you say Guinness? An open bar with Guinness on tap would work wonders.