Modesty not a dress code but a philosophy

[_zeezrom]

This article (below) is interesting to me. The author noted that enforcement of modesty in dress was seen by her as more of a philosophy than a dress code. The modesty doctrines made her feel that how she looked was more important than what she thought.

This reminds me of the motivation behind the recent ban on skinny jeans at BYUi. Rather than enforce a dress code, they enforced a philosophy that curves should be hidden. I've been thinking lately of ideas I want for my own children and how I can focus on the good things regarding dress and grooming.

What do y'all think of this article?

SAUCE

Thanks,

Zee.

[_emilysmith]

How you look is important. It communicates information about yourself to other people. It communicates your culture, your hygiene, and your mental health and it is all sized up by other people on unconscious levels that effect how they interact with you.

Being sexually attractive is what everyone wants, but it manifests itself in different ways in different cultures. In a conservative culture, "slutty" isn't ideal for a long-term partner, so you had better dress and act appropriately if you want to find someone with half a brain in their head to marry.

Having nice clothes makes people feel more confident and looking nice should be encouraged. If your kids get out of hand with what they wear, look at the motivations behind why they choose the things you disapprove of. What crowds are they trying to fit into? Who are they trying to attract? Who are they repelling?

My advice is to go the little bit extra and make sure they have nice clothes that will attract the right people and repel the wrong ones. As a parent, you will have to decide who those groups are and *gently* steer your children in the right direction. Clothes are tied to their growing sense of self, their identity, and attempting to drastically change anything will make them feel like you are controlling their identity... which you are, all the time, just in ways you aren't necessarily aware of.

Honesty is the best policy. If you just sit them down and explain that you want them to have a good life, there are a million small challenges and you think this is how to best face this one so that everything is easier for them in the future, then accept input and work out a compromise, you should be able to increase their awareness and desire to do the right thing all at once.

Food for thought, anyways.

[_Quasimodo]

I find the human body beautiful. As you know Z, I work with human, naked images all the time. Usually not the sexiest of people. Even the old and wrinkled are beautiful in their own way.

Still, it might be best for some to consider the feelings of others in their choice of dress:

[_just me]

That was a sad article.

I agree with emilysmith, for the most part.

We should teach our children to dress well. To love their bodies and dress them in flattering ways. To dress in ways that build them up and reflect their personality. Dressing should be joyous! Cleaning and caring for our bodies should give us satisfaction and a sense of wellbeing.

The damage seems to have been in teaching young girls that they have to be "modest" so that boys won't get sexually aroused by them. The damage is in giving girls the idea that it is better to not have curves, breasts, hips...those things that set them apart as females. They should be taught to embrace (literally and figuratively) their bodies. Stand tall, chin up, shoulders back, smile!

People can dress however they want. However, society does have norms. My children will be taught to dress appropriate for the occasion (no pajamas to school except on pajama day, etc). But when you teach in that manner, it is about them...not their sexuality or the fear of causing a sex riot. ;)

[_LDSToronto]

Tight is always right.

H.