"Called" to cubscouts, regretting accepting

[_Yoda]

I recently was "called" to work with the cub scouts.

At this point, my latest ward kind of knows of my distant stance in terms of Church doctrine so I have been pushed towards the scouting program where all less actives, fence sitters, and 'weak' members are placed.

Anyways, I am regretting accepting this "calling." In recent days, I have researched the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) and discovered a couple dissappointing facts including:

1. GLBT are not accepted in any way whatsoever.
2. A member must not be agnostic or atheist.

Excuse my ignorance, I never really participated in scouting besides a year or two in elementary school. But this organization appears to be hell bent on maintaining the barring of agnostics, atheists, and GLBTs.

http://www.bsalegal.org/default.asp

This is where you folks come in...

Should I attempt to get out of this calling? If so, how do I approach getting out of this "calling?"

I think that what you have to ask yourself is....Are you interested in working with the kids? If you have a child that falls into this age group, and that child wants to participate, then, I would encourage you to be involved.

If you don't really have a desire to work with the kids, and don't have any personal stake one way or the other, as far as your own children's involvement, then politely decline.

Kids need good people working with them who legitimately want to be there. If you can't enthusiastically fulfill this calling, then step aside, and allow someone else the opportunity who can.

As far as your assessment of this being a "last ditch" calling, I honestly can't see anything further from the truth, at least in my ward. The bishop traditionally calls members to help with scouting who are the most competently able to work with the kids. It is a big deal, and an honor to be asked. I guess each ward is different.

[_MsJack]

I don't have any boys, but my five year-old daughter is a Daisy in Girl Scouts. It's been marvelous for her. She loves the activities, the get-togethers, the field trips. She loves earning her Daisy petals and working towards goals. It's got her walking around the house, reciting how she needs to be "honest and fair" or "friendly and helpful." Love it.

And I would really, really hate to hear that one of her Girl Scout leaders is only doing this reluctantly, because her arm has been twisted into it. I want leaders who are giving my kid 110%, because my kid is worth it.

So, lostindc, I would say that you either need to shelve your issues with the BSA and give those boys 110%, or find a way to back out. I've only ever accepted one calling in the LDS church and never had to back out or turn one down, so I don't have any advice on how to tactfully do that. I wish you the best of luck regardless of what you decide to do.

For the record, your issues with the BSA are perfectly valid. I've made similar criticisms of the BSA. My husband is still adamant that if we ever have boys, they will do Boy Scouts, so I may eventually find myself in the position of having to shelve my issues, too.

[_Yoda]

I don't have any boys, but my five year-old daughter is a Daisy in Girl Scouts. It's been marvelous for her. She loves the activities, the get-togethers, the field trips. She loves earning her Daisy petals and working towards goals. It's got her walking around the house, reciting how she needs to be "honest and fair" or "friendly and helpful." Love it.

And I would really, really hate to hear that one of her Girl Scout leaders is only doing this reluctantly, because her arm has been twisted into it. I want leaders who are giving my kid 110%, because my kid is worth it.

So, lostindc, I would say that you either need to shelve your issues with the BSA and give those boys 110%, or find a way to back out. I've only ever accepted one calling in the LDS church and never had to back out or turn one down, so I don't have any advice on how to tactfully do that. I wish you the best of luck regardless of what you decide to do.

For the record, your issues with the BSA are perfectly valid. I've made similar criticisms of the BSA. My husband is still adamant that if we ever have boys, they will do Boy Scouts, so I may eventually find myself in the position of having to shelve my issues, too.

Amen, Ms. Jack! I echo your comments.

My son is 8, and just started Cub Scouts in November. He LOVES it! His den leader is great. They just finished making their pinewood derby cars, and have a race this Saturday. My husband, even though he is not officially called to anything in scouts, goes with my son to the scout meetings, and is an involved parent. It is a great bonding time for the two of them.

Lostindc, if you are committed to the kids, then concentrate on the kids, and put in 110%. If not, then bow out.

And, as far as getting out of a calling gracefully, there are lots of ways to do it, if you don't want to "just say no". I would suggest simply politely declining...but there are other things you can do. Scouts is a time consuming job. You could simply say that your job is causing you to devote more hours, and will be a significant conflict. This may even be a legitimate concern of yours, so it wouldn't be lying.

[_Chap]

I am a little unhappy with this 'don't do it unless you are going to give 110%' stuff.

If all that means is that lostindc should go on the required training courses, take them seriously, do the job in a regular and dependable way, put the kids first and do his best do give them a good time, fine. But I am not sure it is a good idea to be perfectionist about this.

Kids don't need perfect parents: they just need good parents who care about them. Cubs don't need perfect adult leaders either: they just need good leaders who care about them. And there is a chronic shortage of adults prepared to lead such activities as Cubs. So unless lostindc really feels he could not measure up, then if he can deal with his problems of conscience I hope he will give it a determined go.

[_Buffalo]

I was once called to be a cub scout leader at the suggestion of the Bishop's wife, once. I was so naïve at the time I thought, "but, but, I thought callings were supposed to be by revelation!"

[_MsJack]

I wasn't calling for perfection, Chap.

Just energy and enthusiasm.

[_lostindc]

Thanks for all the replies. I love the cinepro visit to the star wars exhibit.

The links posted by LDSToronto are the most concerning. The large scale coverups are incredibly bad.

Anyways, I already accepted the position hence the post stating: "regretting accepting." I am now a few weeks in and I enjoy a lot of the kids. The parents not so much.

I think I was asked to help out because a young boy's father recently passed and they asked I look out for him. Therefore, the only reason why I have not left the 'calling' is because of him. My kids are too young to participate. The other parents have no interest in helping out.

As for going 110%...well, 100% may mean something completely different to me than those who requested 110% but I am making an effort.

[_MsJack]

Given the circumstances in which you came into the job, it sounds like your heart is in the right place to me, lostindc. Best of luck to you.

[_Chap]

I wasn't calling for perfection, Chap.

Just energy and enthusiasm.

Fine by me, if that's what you meant by 'giving 110%'. I hope that lostindc feels he can find that in him, assuming he can deal with the conscientious issue. Those kids need good guys to show them how.

Nowadays, it seems that the increasingly overworked expression 'giving 110%' just means doing the best you can. So I suppose that if we want to get extraordinary performance we shall have to move up to 120% ... maybe we could just go back to 'do the best you can'?

[_lostindc]

Given the circumstances in which you came into the job, it sounds like your heart is in the right place to me, lostindc. Best of luck to you.

Thank you MsJack.