Very clever Conference planning...

[_Drifting]

It may have slipped your notice that General Conference this year falls on April Fools Day (1st).

Some of you may think that it just a gargantuan error made by an inept calender planner within the COB. Not so. It is a carefully considered strategy aimed at mitigating the drivel that may come forth out of the gaping face wounds of Monson and Co - particularly Gruppenfuhrer Packer.

No, we don't want any more embarrassing slips of tongue.

This date affords the Church the perfect get out clause - 'Ha ha, he was only joking....'

[_malkie]

It may have slipped your notice that General Conference this year falls on April Fools Day (1st).

Some of you may think that it just a gargantuan error made by an inept calender planner within the COB. Not so. It is a carefully considered strategy aimed at mitigating the drivel that may come forth out of the gaping face wounds of Monson and Co - particularly Gruppenfuhrer Packer.

No, we don't want any more embarrassing slips of tongue.

This date affords the Church the perfect get out clause - 'Ha ha, he was only joking....'

... but only for remarks made before noon - right?

[_Fence Sitter]

Conference is irrelevant. You must wait until the talks themselves are published before you can be sure of what was actually said in conference. I suggest that, as a cost saving measure and for additional clarity, the Church could eliminate the broadcast itself and just issue the written talks. That way they save the money spent on the telecast, the cost to edit any theological faux pas by the Brethren and avoid any member misinterpreting a talk due to actually watching the speaker himself talk.

[_Infymus]

Conference is irrelevant. You must wait until the talks themselves are published before you can be sure of what was actually said in conference. I suggest that, as a cost saving measure and for additional clarity, the Church could eliminate the broadcast itself and just issue the written talks. That way they save the money spent on the telecast, the cost to edit any theological faux pas by the Brethren and avoid any member misinterpreting a talk due to actually watching the speaker himself talk.

You forget the conference-speak used by the geezers is an important factor in cult indoctrination. Most will forget what they said anyway and when they're reading the Ensign rag while riding the bus from Provo to Salt Lake on the fast bus, they'll never know the difference.

I sure do hope we get some more Holland rants about Anti-Mormons, or some good Packer gay hate.

Unfortunately with a Mormon running for President, I'll bet they will have one of the most correlated, lawyer checked, PR checked conferences in years. If Romney makes the GOP target for President, then October Cult Conference will be even more scrubbed than ever.

I hope to once again go the entire weekend without realizing that old men in business suits are speaking as men in downtown SLC.

[_krose]

Unfortunately with a Mormon running for President, I'll bet they will have one of the most correlated, lawyer checked, PR checked conferences in years. If Romney makes the GOP target for President, then October Cult Conference will be even more scrubbed than ever.

In that case you should expect to have the whole thing abnormally centered around Jeezus, to look as Christian as possible.

[_Buffalo]

Unfortunately with a Mormon running for President, I'll bet they will have one of the most correlated, lawyer checked, PR checked conferences in years. If Romney makes the GOP target for President, then October Cult Conference will be even more scrubbed than ever.

In that case you should expect to have the whole thing abnormally centered around Jeezus, to look as Christian as possible.

Hmm, good point! I'll be watching for that. I bet they'll go super-Jesus focused now (with very little Joseph Smith), and especially in the fall.

[_Infymus]

Funny part is that there are now reports that senior Mormons are being "called" as ushers. Not conference ushers, but MALL ushers.

My parents were just called to be "missionaries" for the church to be ushers at the conference center. My wife and I were joking that really they were just called to work at the new mall. I just got done talking to them and guess what there first assignment is. They are going to be ushers at the new mall.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,445018

[_Buffalo]

Funny part is that there are now reports that senior Mormons are being "called" as ushers. Not conference ushers, but MALL ushers.

My parents were just called to be "missionaries" for the church to be ushers at the conference center. My wife and I were joking that really they were just called to work at the new mall. I just got done talking to them and guess what there first assignment is. They are going to be ushers at the new mall.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,445018

Holy crap!!

[Guest]

Funny part is that there are now reports that senior Mormons are being "called" as ushers. Not conference ushers, but MALL ushers.

My parents were just called to be "missionaries" for the church to be ushers at the conference center. My wife and I were joking that really they were just called to work at the new mall. I just got done talking to them and guess what there first assignment is. They are going to be ushers at the new mall.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,445018

for what it's worth I'm not convinced this is accurate, more it seems to be a single isolated uncorroborated online post.

[_harmony]

Funny part is that there are now reports that senior Mormons are being "called" as ushers. Not conference ushers, but MALL ushers.

My parents were just called to be "missionaries" for the church to be ushers at the conference center. My wife and I were joking that really they were just called to work at the new mall. I just got done talking to them and guess what there first assignment is. They are going to be ushers at the new mall.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,445018

I'll tell ya... there are some brilliant men at the head of this organization. Even Walmart has to pay their door greeters; pretty smart of the Church to call theirs as "missionaries".