Any PARANORMAL missionaries stories??

[_Bond James Bond]

I know a guy who was serving a mission in Israel. It was during the Six Day War. He knew he shouldn't leave the country, but when the opportunity to escape to safety presented itself he took it. He jumped in a car with a few Jewish friends and they headed south. Their car took them to the Red Sea, where they built an enclosed barge out of wood that was growing along the coast. Hoping to reach a safe place they pushed the barge out into the current and let it drift. They didn't have any mode of propulsion but they trusted to their respective lords. By chance they drifted for more than a year and landed in America. They then quickly disappeared into the local gene pool. Not sure how I learned the story since I never saw my friend again. :(

[_Willy Law]

I served most of my mission in the Boston area. I struggled for most of my mission until I was given a troubled elder named Elder Clavin. One day we were walking near Beacon Hill when Elder Clavin turned to me and said "Elder Law, Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got. Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot."
These words stopped me in my tracks and I replied, "Elder Clavin Wouldn't you like to get away?"
"Indeed I would Elder Law, because Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows Your name."
We ducked into a little bar on Bacon Hill. We knew we weren't suppose to be there, but Elder Clavin's words had changed me. We ended up drinking in that bar all night. Amazingly it calmed our nerves and we were able to share the gospel as never before. We ended up baptizing two people we met in that bar that night. One out of work accountant and a former professional baseball player.
I will never forget Elder Clavin.

[_Bond James Bond]

Another friend of mine related a story Thomas Monson told in Arkansas about a local convert. Monson sat down and told the story of a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed. He went out one day and was looking for some food, but out from the ground came a bubbling crude. Oil supposedly, colloquially known as "Texas tea". The first thing you know Jed was a millionaire. His kinfolk said "Jed move away from there". They said Californie is the place you outta be so he loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly. After that it was swimming pools and movie stars. All because he faithfully tithed part of his welfare check while his family starved.

[_Blixa]

One P-day, Sister Daphne said to me, "Sister Velma, maybe we should make some snacks for Elders Fred and Shaggy. They've got an adorable puppy that follows them around on their tracting!" We caught up with the Elders outside a large and scarey looking old mansion. They told us they had been impressed by the spirit to investigate this house in particular. When we knocked on the door, a ghost burst forth, but Elder Shaggy raised his arm to the square and told the demon to depart in the name of the lord! As he evaporated into a mist we heard, "...I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for you meddling missionaries!"

[_Nightlion]

I shrink from the telling of all I know of my epic moon mission. Daughter Judy and Jane my wife ( I was stuck up there so long I decided to marry a local) have told me not to mention anything about it because my son Leroy
is still there with the hostile prospects who are all pissed because there is never enough water at one time for a proper baptism. Just add water and we could have instant Oats for converts. (that what we called the locals, Oats.)

[_Bret Ripley]

After spending a lot unfruitful time in an old run-down neighborhood, my dream was granted and I punched my ticket out of there. Eventually I could even laugh about it. Can you imagine how I felt when the mission president sent me back to the very same old neighborhood? Well, the names had all changed since I hung around, but the dreams had remained, though they'd turned around: who'd have thought they'd lead me back here to where they need me? Sure, they tease me a lot 'cause they've got me on the spot. But they welcomed me back. They welcomed *me* back.

And if that's not paranormal enough for you, I can tell you about the time a buddy and I walked in on a couple of gay guys about to "get it on" in a public restroom. We just laughed and ran away.

[_Blixa]

You might not think it, but housing in Santa Monica was tight in the 70's. My companion (a really ditzy blonde sister) and I were worried about Elder Tripper. Seems his companion, Elder Larry ditched him, leaving him to try to find his own cheap apartment! We knew it bent the rules, but Sister Chrissie and I managed to convince Mission President Roper to let Elder Tripper share with us! We concocted a story that Elder Tripper had SSA and that Elder Larry, following the counsel of President Packer, had threatened to kill him if he stayed in their missionary apartment. President Roper took pity on Elder Tripper and agreed to our plan, but required poor Elder Tripper to go through a lot of something called "reparative therapy?" I don't know all the ins and outs, just that Elder Tripper seemed pretty quiet after his sessions and used to sit around a lot with an ice bag on his lap. Still, it sure saved on rent!

[_Morley]

One day, my mission president called my companion and me into his office. He told us that because we had converted the entire population of Idaho to Mormonism and, not only that, had gotten every last one of them to register Republican and buy handguns, we were getting a new assignment. He was sending us across the pond to France. My companion immediately started humming the tune “There’s a place in France, where women wear no pants.” We didn’t sent to that no pants place, though. We ended up in Gay Pairee. What with them eating that bread and drinking that wine and being so gay and socialist and stuff, we didn’t have any more success at all. So, what’s so paranormal about this story? Well, we were the only pair o’ normal dudes there. 'Cept maybe that Romney fellow.

[Guest]

My dad told me this tale:

After I retired from my acting career I went on a mission to Manhattan after my wife left me and I also committed suicide I had an epiphany and knew I had to go on another mission. I was paired with a real slob named Oscar who had been a sportswriter before retirement. We were something of an Odd Couple but after initially disliking Oscar decided that I could learn something from him. We'll discuss my future after the mission later...right now we're going to give the discussions to some Pigeons. Hopefully we'll feel the Spirit.

[_Kishkumen]

I totally bitch-slapped Satan on my mission. Totally.