Really this is consiced appropriate on a Sunday???? WTF

[_why me]

As for "duty sex". I think it's a little sad that I am the first male that kind of "gets it" here and I am a mere 24 years old. Listen up cry me and douchebag (In case your fingers start typing "Ad Hominem" realize that I don't speak Latin, and I am adding a ton of smilies so you know I am just playing around )

When you haven't gotten any from your wife for a year, and counseling doesn't help, then I would appreciate your take on it. My guess is: some women are just too tired to have sex. This is happening more and more as work becomes more demanding, emotional burdens from the economic recession and just a plain lack of desire. Either way, the guy will have a problem if he feels the itch. Thus, if the bishop did have such a talk and I doubt it, this could be the reason why.

[_why me]

As to it not being only a Mormon problem, there is no other church where all the women in the group need to be lectured on not putting out for their husbands sooo.....

We cannot be sure that the talk happened at all. And if it did, it is only one bishop. Not the church as a whole. Critics of the church tend to generalize. Thus, one bishop becomes the church. So, if a catholic priest abuses a child, can we say the catholic church abuses children?

[_why me]

The point made by Jhall118 is of course the key to this thread.

Maybe. But if you are too tired to satisfy your wife and this lasts several months and you are still not feeling the need to have sex, what would you expect her to do about it? Are you not being a little selfish toward her?

[_Dr. Shades]

Sure, the bishop could've been more sensitive and/or politically correct, but I really don't see how or why his presentation inspires such white hot rage among his female hearers/readers. Let's face it: Aside from the "the partner with the need Trump's the partner without the need" part, what did he say that was incorrect?

[_lulu]

Sure, the bishop could've been more sensitive and/or politically correct, but I really don't see how or why his presentation inspires such white hot rage among his female hearers/readers. Let's face it: Aside from the "the partner with the need Trump's the partner without the need" part, what did he say that was incorrect?

Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

[_Sethbag]

There is a difference between sex that only one person wants and sex that both people want.

For those men who have not yet realized this, pity is appropriate (and for their partners, even more than for them).

The point made by Jhall118 is of course the key to this thread.

I agree, generally, but there's more to this than it seems. I've heard from, uh, a friend, that sometimes his wife isn't interested in sex, but will sometimes "give in" and have it anyway, and she never, ever regrets it. That adds a different dimension to what Jhall said.

[_Sethbag]

As for "duty sex". I think it's a little sad that I am the first male that kind of "gets it" here and I am a mere 24 years old. Listen up cry me and douchebag

Wow dude, did I piss in your wheaties and not notice? WTF?

Or you could figure out why your wife isn't having sex with you and fix it. This magical door number three.

Since you've already admitted you're only 24, let me suggest that the year or two of newlywed sex you've been having hasn't really taught you as much as you think it has about the evolution of sexual relationships in a longterm marriage, ie: over many decades. Come back and talk to us again in 20-30 years and let us all know how it really is again.

In case you are unconvinced (I am betting you are), let me attack option number one a little bit. You don't know what it's like to have sex when you don't want it. If you want to know, then spend time in jail, or allow your wife to do you know what with something long and hard that isn't lubricated. It's kind of like that. Kind of just how it works. If a man is having sex with a woman, he wants to be having it. Nobody is surprised that you think it's no big deal.

Not only is "duty sex" uncomfortable for a female (literally, physiologically uncomfortable and not pleasurable), but its also not good emotionally/psychologically and it's not good for your marriage. It's also not good for YOU. There is a difference between sex that only one person wants and sex that both people want.

Jesus H. Christ, dude. Do you really imagine that anyone here is advocating that a woman just spread her legs and let her man inside, just like that, totally unprepared? Or do you think I don't understand the physiology of sex in women?

Finally, if you think that somehow having "duty sex" is going to prevent your husband from wanting to sleep around you are a moron, or you were told that from a male who wants to have sex with you. Putting up with sex isn't going to fix your marriage if you are having problems. Far better advice is to find out what the problem is and fix it, because sex should be a part of any healthy relationship.

First off, I agree that underlying problems in a marriage won't be fixed just by sex, and need to be addressed separately.

Secondly, "duty sex" is not a term I love, and I did not invent it or introduce it into this conversation. I don't know if you were still addressing comments at me by this point in your post, but if so, I am not, and never have advocated that a woman simply lie there and take it while thinking of England.

[_why me]

Sure, the bishop could've been more sensitive and/or politically correct, but I really don't see how or why his presentation inspires such white hot rage among his female hearers/readers. Let's face it: Aside from the "the partner with the need Trump's the partner without the need" part, what did he say that was incorrect?

Could it be just possible that the women on this forum may wish to have a good bitch at the church? That is my take on it.

If men would contemplate not giving it to the wife because he is too tired day after day week after week etc, I think that they will see it differently. Selfishness does play a role too. Of course the couple can have a discussion about it and then after 3 months of the same old same old have an argument over it....but eventually, it does become selfish not to give a little to the spouse.

[_cafe crema]

I am startled at how many think this is an appropriate subject for a man to lecture the women of the congregation on Sunday morning at church.

[_Drifting]

I am startled at how many think this is an appropriate subject for a man to lecture the women of the congregation on Sunday morning at church.

Without their husbands being present.