When I lived in Los Angeles, occasionally I’d go to concerts at the Hollywood Bowl. One time I went with some girlfriends, and after one particular performance one of them said, “I always like to read the paper the next day, to see what the critics say and see if I was right.” I told her I also liked to read what the critics say, but it was to see if the critics were right.
That may sound overly confident, but my ticket is paying for the musicians to perform, and it’s my own standards I care most about. So it is with politics; I never lose sight of the fact that I am, and you are, their boss.
So let’s look at the country like it’s a company. Your company. You’ve hired a guy to head it up, and instead of keeping the promises he made during the interview, he has run it into the ground. He has wildly overspent the budget you gave him, destroyed your credit, ignored your mission statement, blamed his failures on previous employees, and has even run around and apologized for your company to other companies. On the plus side, he’s done nothing whatsoever to balance out the disastrous stuff. Would you keep him or fire him? I mean, he has a nice severance package, so at least there’s that. (And he keeps making you think of that phrase, “We think the fox is clever until we remember the stupidity of chickens.”) But I would absolutely fire him. Let him get a job with the companies he felt deserved an apology.
Now, amazingly, you have a new applicant who actually has some experience running a company like yours. In fact, he’s an economic genius. You look over his resume and are astounded at his experience in saving organizations and turning them around. This is what you’ve always dreamed of, but thought could never happen. After all, such guys rarely consent to work for low-paying companies like yours. We all complain that the really top performers are never interested in jobs like this—they’re so successful they don’t need the aggravation. Your heart is pounding and you think to yourself, “Sign him up before he changes his mind!”
But then some of the other workers say he’s not gregarious enough, not a natural showman. And now you think of yourself having a terrible accident, bleeding out, and calling for the paramedics. But when they arrive, you say, “Whoa, whoa, hold it—before you put me on that gurney, do you have any experience as a comedian? Because otherwise, I’m not sure you’re the right guy to help me here.” Crazy, right? Any thinking person would just want to stop the hemorrhaging. Being hilarious is hardly a requirement when there’s an emergency.
So you go back to the basics and you think, “What does this company need right now?” And it’s a desperate need, not just a comfy “boy, this would be nice” wish list. Otherwise your company is going to go the way of Greece. You need someone who knows how to rescue, how to take action, how to solve financial problems swiftly and surely. Someone who knows how to surround himself with other brainy, experienced leaders who can get you rolling again. Someone who actually loves and believes in your company as much as you do.
That’s why Mitt Romney has my vote. Not because he’s LDS. Not because he’s handsome or well-spoken or has a cute wife and a bevy of wholesome sons. It’s because he’s the best danged employee you could ever hope or pray to find. We need an economic rescue and we need it this November.
http://ldsmag.com/blogs/writers-blogs/h ... g-election