Bible verse by verse

[_ludwigm]

God was upset with the nation of Israel, and allowed David to take the census so that Israel would be also punished

Bear (to the wolf):
- We should beat the rabbit!
Wolf:
- OK.
Both (to bunny):
- Why don't you wear a cap?
They beat him.

Next day...
Bear (to the wolf):
- We should beat the rabbit again!
Wolf:
- OK, what is the cause?
- Anything... We ask him for a cigarette and he will not have filtered one, or not filtered one, or will have none. Any of these can be the cause.
Bear (to bunny):
- Give us a cigarette!
Bunny - showing both type:
- Do you want it with or without filter?
Wolf (to bear):
- You see, this bastard has no cap again!
They beat him.

And the evening and the morning were the third day. (Genesis 1:13)

Before Adam and Eve sinned, there was no death or destruction.

If you didn't understand the joke (which is squarely turned out from your answer):
when a savage and wilful god wants punish, then he (she/it) doesn't seek for a cause, but creates one, even a baseless one.
In the joke the bear and the wolf do the same with the rabbit.

It is like Proverbs...
1:6. To understand a joke, and the interpretation; the words of the jokester, and their dark sayings.
1:22. How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?

[_Bazooka]

Before Adam and Eve sinned, there was no death or destruction. Genesis 3:7 Then both of them knew things they had never known before. They realized they were naked. So they sewed fig leaves together and made clothes for themselves.

Did God realise they were naked when He visited them in the Garden?

[_LittleNipper]

Before Adam and Eve sinned, there was no death or destruction. Genesis 3:7 Then both of them knew things they had never known before. They realized they were naked. So they sewed fig leaves together and made clothes for themselves.

Did God realise they were naked when He visited them in the Garden?

God created Adam and Eve without clothes; however, Adam and Eve now saw themselves as vulnerable ---- among other things. And hiding from God and covering themselves is the obvious clue that things are radically different. Christ performed the first sacrifice when He killed an animal to make coverings for Adam And Eve. God made a covering for Adam ----
Genesis 3:21 NIV The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.

[_LittleNipper]

God was upset with the nation of Israel, and allowed David to take the census so that Israel would be also punished

Bear (to the wolf):
- We should beat the rabbit!
Wolf:
- OK.
Both (to bunny):
- Why don't you wear a cap?
They beat him.

Next day...
Bear (to the wolf):
- We should beat the rabbit again!
Wolf:
- OK, what is the cause?
- Anything... We ask him for a cigarette and he will not have filtered one, or not filtered one, or will have none. Any of these can be the cause.
Bear (to bunny):
- Give us a cigarette!
Bunny - showing both type:
- Do you want it with or without filter?
Wolf (to bear):
- You see, this bastard has no cap again!
They beat him.

And the evening and the morning were the third day. (Genesis 1:13)

Before Adam and Eve sinned, there was no death or destruction.

If you didn't understand the joke (which is squarely turned out from your answer):
when a savage and wilful god wants punish, then he (she/it) doesn't seek for a cause, but creates one, even a baseless one.
In the joke the bear and the wolf do the same with the rabbit.

It is like Proverbs...
1:6. To understand a joke, and the interpretation; the words of the jokester, and their dark sayings.
1:22. How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?

And I was pointing out that your "joke" is flawed. Tell me, do you consider yourself to be a good person?

[_LittleNipper]

1 Chronicles 25:1-31 David and the worship leaders selected some from the family of Asaph, Heman, and Jeduthun for special service ministering with music.
Here is the roster of names and assignments:
From the family of Asaph: Zaccur, Joseph, Nethaniah, and Asarelah; they were supervised by Asaph, who spoke for God backed up by the king’s authority.
From the family of Jeduthun there were six sons: Gedaliah, Zeri, Jeshaiah, Shimei, Hashabiah, and Mattithiah; they were supervised by their father Jeduthun, who preached and accompanied himself with the zither—he was responsible for leading the thanks and praise to God.
From the family of Heman: Bukkiah, Mattaniah, Uzziel, Shubael, Jerimoth, Hananiah, Hanani, Eliathah, Giddalti, Romamti-Ezer, Joshbekashah, Mallothi, Hothir, and Mahazioth. These were the sons of Heman the king’s seer; they supported and assisted him in his divinely appointed work. God gave Heman fourteen sons and three daughters. Under their father’s supervision they were in charge of leading the singing and musical accompaniment in the work of worship in the sanctuary of God (Asaph, Jeduthun, and Heman took their orders directly from the king). They were well-trained masters in the sacred music. There were 288 of them.

They drew names at random to see who would do what. Nobody, whether young or old, teacher or student, was given preference or advantage over another.

The 1st name from Asaph’s family was Joseph and his 12 sons and brothers;
2nd, Gedaliah and his 12 sons and brothers;
3rd, Zaccur and his12 sons and brothers;
4th, Izri and his 12 sons and brothers;
5th, Nethaniah and his 12 sons and brothers;
6th, Bukkiah and his 12 sons and brothers;
7th, Jesarelah and his 12 sons and brothers;
8th, Jeshaiah and his 12 sons and brothers;
9th, Mattaniah and his 12 sons and brothers;
10th, Shimei and his12 sons and brothers;
11th, Azarel and his 12 sons and brothers;
12th, Hashabiah and his 12 sons and brothers;
13th, Shubael and his 12 sons and brothers;
14th, Mattithiah and his 12 and brothers;
15th, Jerimoth and his12 sons and brothers;
16th, Hananiah and his 12 sons and brothers;
17th, Joshbekashah and his 12 sons and brothers;
18th, Hanani and his 12 sons and brothers;
19th, Mallothi and his 12 sons and brothers;
20th, Eliathah and his 12 sons and brothers;
21st, Hothir and his 12 sons and brothers;
22nd, Giddalti and his 12 sons and brothers;
23rd, Mahazioth and his 12 sons and brothers;
24th, Romamti-Ezer and his 12 sons and brothers.


Young's Literal Translation (YLT)

1 And David and the heads of the host separate for service, of the sons of Asaph, and Heman, and Jeduthun, who are prophesying with harps, with psalteries, and with cymbals, and the number of the workmen is according to their service.

2 Of sons of Asaph: Zaccur, and Joseph, and Nethaniah, and Asharelah, sons of Asaph, [are] by the side of Asaph, who is prophesying by the side of the king.

3 Of Jeduthun: sons of Jeduthun, Gedaliah, and Zeri, and Jeshaiah, Hashabiah, and Mattithiah, Shisshah, [are] by the side of their father Jeduthun; with a harp he is prophesying, for giving of thanks and of praise to Jehovah.

4 Of Heman: sons of Heman: Bukkiah, Mattaniah, Uzziel, Shebuel, and Jerimoth, Hananiah, Hanani, Eliathah, Giddalti, and Romamti-Ezer, Joshbekashah, Mallothi, Hothir, Mahazioth;

5 all these [are] sons of Heman -- seer of the king in the things of God -- to lift up a horn; and God giveth to Heman fourteen sons and three daughters.

6 All these [are] by the side of their father in the song of the house of Jehovah, with cymbals, psalteries, and harps, for the service of the house of God; by the side of the king [are] Asaph, and Jeduthun, and Heman.

7 And their number, with their brethren -- taught in the song of Jehovah, all who are intelligent -- is two hundred, eighty and eight.

8 And they cause to fall lots -- charge over-against [charge], as well the small as the great, the intelligent with the learner.

9 And the first lot goeth out for Asaph to Joseph; [to] Gedaliah the second; he, and his brethren and his sons, twelve;

10 the third [to] Zaccur, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

11 the fourth to Izri, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

12 the fifth [to] Nethaniah, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

13 the sixth [to] Bukkiah, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

14 the seventh [to] Jesharelah, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

15 the eighth [to] Jeshaiah, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

16 the ninth [to] Mattaniah, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

17 the tenth [to] Shimei, his sons and his brethren, twelve:

18 eleventh [to] Azareel, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

19 the twelfth [to] Hashabiah, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

20 at the thirteenth [to] Shubael, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

21 at the fourteenth [to] Mattithiah, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

22 at the fifteenth [to] Jeremoth, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

23 at the sixteenth [to] Hananiah, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

24 at the seventeenth [to] Joshbekashah, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

25 at the eighteenth [to] Hanani, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

26 at the nineteenth [to] Mallothi, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

27 at the twentieth [to] Eliathah, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

28 at the one and twentieth [to] Hothir, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

29 at the two and twentieth [to] Giddalti, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

30 at the three and twentieth [to] Mahazioth, his sons and his brethren, twelve;

31 at the four and twentieth [to] Romamti-Ezer, his sons and his brethren, twelve.

[_ludwigm]

---snip
And I was pointing out that your "joke" is flawed.

No, you didn't point anything. You cited a Bible verse which has nothing to do with the text quoted before.

My joke is a joke, not "joke" with quotation marks. If you don't understand jokes, it is your social problem.
There are colour-blinds and tone-deafs.

Tell me, do you consider yourself to be a good person?

Yes, I am a good person. Ask my five children, twenty grandchildren, tens of my workmates (ex ones as I am pensioned) and hundreds of my students in the army, during 39 years.
Some of them may have been so bigot as you --- none of them stressed it as you.

[_ludwigm]

The 1st name from Asaph’s family was Joseph and his 12 sons and brothers;
2nd, Gedaliah and his 12 sons and brothers;
3rd, Zaccur and his12 sons and brothers;
4th, Izri and his 12 sons and brothers;
5th, Nethaniah and his 12 sons and brothers;
6th, Bukkiah and his 12 sons and brothers;
7th, Jesarelah and his 12 sons and brothers;
8th, Jeshaiah and his 12 sons and brothers;
9th, Mattaniah and his 12 sons and brothers;
10th, Shimei and his12 sons and brothers;
11th, Azarel and his 12 sons and brothers;
12th, Hashabiah and his 12 sons and brothers;
13th, Shubael and his 12 sons and brothers;
14th, Mattithiah and his 12 and brothers;
15th, Jerimoth and his12 sons and brothers;
16th, Hananiah and his 12 sons and brothers;
17th, Joshbekashah and his 12 sons and brothers;
18th, Hanani and his 12 sons and brothers;
19th, Mallothi and his 12 sons and brothers;
20th, Eliathah and his 12 sons and brothers;
21st, Hothir and his 12 sons and brothers;
22nd, Giddalti and his 12 sons and brothers;
23rd, Mahazioth and his 12 sons and brothers;
24th, Romamti-Ezer and his 12 sons and brothers.

Are you sane, man?


Two dozen stupid characters delusory names with exactly ONE DOZEN sons.

God's (??) zoo can not be that big. Your jokes are far better than my ones...

[_ludwigm]

Before Adam and Eve sinned, there was no death or destruction. Genesis 3:7 Then both of them knew things they had never known before. They realized they were naked. So they sewed fig leaves together and made clothes for themselves.

Did God realise they were naked when He visited them in the Garden?

Khm khm.

Before Adam and Eve sinned, there was no death or destruction.

Then: "Last edited by LittleNipper on 2014.09.29 05:37:04, edited 1 time in total."
The edition has nothing to do with the comment he answers - the same as original.

My comment he is trying to answer is: god can punish anybody anywhere whenever he wants (and creates a cause to do it).

[_LittleNipper]

Before Adam and Eve sinned, there was no death or destruction.

Then: "Last edited by LittleNipper on 2014.09.29 05:37:04, edited 1 time in total."
The edition has nothing to do with the comment he answers - the same as original.

My comment he is trying to answer is: god can punish anybody anywhere whenever he wants (and creates a cause to do it).

You believe in relativism. I do not. I believe that there are absolutes --- right and wrong. God is perfect. Man falls short of perfection because he is now sinful by nature --- because of the Fall of Adam.

[_LittleNipper]

1 Chronicles 26:1-32 The teams of security guards were from the family of Korah: Meshelemiah son of Kore (one of the sons of Asaph). Meshelemiah’s sons were Zechariah, the firstborn, followed by Jediael, Zebadiah, Jathniel, Elam, Jehohanan, and Eliehoenai—7 sons.

Obed-Edom’s sons were Shemaiah, the firstborn, followed by Jehozabad, Joah, Sacar, Nethanel, Ammiel, Issachar, and Peullethai—God blessed him with 8 sons. His son Shemaiah had sons who provided outstanding leadership in the family: Othni, Rephael, Obed, and Elzabad; his relatives Elihu and Semakiah were also exceptional. These all came from the line of Obed-Edom—all of them outstanding and strong. There were 62 of them. Meshelemiah had 18 sons and relatives who were outstanding. The sons of Hosah the Merarite were Shimri (he was not the firstborn but his father made him first), then Hilkiah, followed by Tabaliah and Zechariah. Hosah accounted for 13.

These teams of security guards, supervised by their leaders, kept order in The Temple of God, keeping up the traditions of their ancestors. They were all assigned to their posts by the same method regardless of the prominence of their families—each picked his gate assignment by lottery. Shelemiah was assigned to the East Gate; his son Zechariah, a shrewd counselor, got the North Gate. Obed-Edom got the South Gate; and his sons pulled duty at the storehouse. Shuppim and Hosah were posted to the West Gate and the Shalleketh Gate on the high road. The guards stood shoulder to shoulder: 6 Levites per day on the east, 4 per day on the north and on the south, and 2 at a time at the storehouse. At the open court to the west, 4 guards were posted on the road and two at the court.

Other Levites were put in charge of the financial affairs of The Temple of God. From the family of Ladan (all Gershonites) came Jehieli, and the sons of Jehieli, Zetham and his brother Joel. They supervised the finances of the sanctuary of God. From the Amramites, the Izharites, the Hebronites, and the Uzzielites: Shubael, descended from Gershom the son of Moses, was the chief financial officer. His relatives through Eliezer: his son Rehabiah, his son Jeshaiah, his son Joram, his son Zicri, and his son Shelomith. Shelomith and his relatives were in charge of valuables consecrated by David the king, family heads, and various generals and commanders from the army. They dedicated the plunder that they had gotten in war to the work of the worship of God. In addition, everything that had been dedicated by Samuel the seer, Saul son of Kish, Abner son of Ner, and Joab son of Zeruiah—anything that had ever been dedicated was the responsibility of Shelomith and his family.

From the family of the Izharites, Kenaniah and sons were appointed as officials and judges responsible for affairs outside the work of worship and sanctuary. From the family of the Hebronites, Hashabiah and his relatives—1,700 well-qualified men—were responsible for administration of matters related to the worship of God and the king’s work in the territory west of the Jordan. According to the family tree of the Hebronites, Jeriah held pride of place. In the 40th year of David’s reign (his last), the Hebron family tree was researched and outstanding men were found at Jazer in Gilead, namely, Jeriah and 2,700 men of his extended family: David the king made them responsible for administration of matters related to the worship of God and the work of the king in the territory east of the Jordan—the Reubenites, the Gadites, and the half-tribe of Manasseh.

Young's Literal Translation (YLT)

1 For the courses of the gatekeepers: of the Korhites [is] Meshelemiah son of Kore, of the sons of Asaph;

2 and to Meshelemiah [are] sons, Zechariah the first-born, Jediael the second, Zebadiah the third, Jathniel the fourth,

3 Elam the fifth, Jehohanan the sixth, Elioenai the seventh.

4 And to Obed-Edom [are] sons, Shemaiah the first-born, Jehozabad the second, Joah the third, and Sacar the fourth, and Nethaneel the fifth,

5 Ammiel the sixth, Issachar the seventh, Peullethai the eighth, for God hath blessed him.

6 And to Shemaiah his son have sons been born, who are ruling throughout the house of their father, for they [are] mighty of valour.

7 Sons of Shemaiah [are] Othni, and Rephael, and Obed, Elzabad; his brethren [are] sons of valour, Elihu and Semachiah,

8 all these [are] of the sons of Obed-Edom; they, and their sons, and their brethren, men of valour with might for service, [are] sixty and two of Obed-Edom.

9 And to Meshelemiah [are] sons and brethren, sons of valour, eighteen;

10 and to Hosah, of the sons of Merari, [are] sons: Shimri the head (though he was not first-born, yet his father setteth him for head),

11 Hilkiah the second, Tebaliah the third, Zechariah the fourth; all the sons and brethren of Hosah [are] thirteen.

12 According to these [are] the courses of the gatekeepers; to the heads of the mighty ones [are] charges over-against their brethren, to minister in the house of Jehovah,

13 and they cause to fall lots, as well the small as the great, according to the house of their fathers, for gate and gate.

14 And the lot falleth eastward to Shelemiah; and [for] Zechariah his son -- a counsellor with understanding -- they cause to fall lots, and his lot goeth out northward:

15 to Obed-Edom southward, and to his sons, the house of the gatherings;

16 to Shuppim and to Hosah to the west, with the gate Shallecheth, in the highway, the ascent, charge over-against charge;

17 to the east the Levites [are] six; to the north daily four, to the south daily four, and to the gatherings two by two,

18 at Parbar, to the west, [are] four at the highway, two at Parbar.

19 These are the courses of the gatekeepers, of the sons of the Korhite, and of the sons of Merari.

20 And of the Levites, Ahijah [is] over the treasures of the house of God, even for the treasures of the holy things.

21 Sons of Laadan: sons of the Gershonite, of Laadan, heads of the fathers of Laadan the Gershonite: Jehieli.

22 Sons of Jehieli: Zetham, and Joel his brother, over the treasures of the house of Jehovah,

23 for the Amramite, for the Izharite, for the Hebronite, for the Uzzielite.

24 And Shebuel son of Gershom, son of Moses, [is] president over the treasures.

25 And his brethren, of Eliezer, [are] Rehabiah his son, and Jeshaiah his son, and Joram his son, and Zichri his son, and Shelomith his son.

26 This Shelomith and his brethren [are] over all the treasures of the holy things, that David the king, and heads of the fathers, even heads of thousands, and of hundreds, and heads of the host, sanctified;

27 from the battles, even from the spoil they sanctified to strengthen the house of Jehovah;

28 and all that Samuel the seer, and Saul son of Kish, and Abner son of Ner, and Joab son of Zeruiah sanctified, every one sanctifying [any thing -- it is] by the side of Shelomith and his brethren.

29 Of the Izharite, Chenaniah and his sons [are] for the outward work over Israel, for officers and for judges.

30 Of the Hebronite, Hashabiah and his brethren, sons of valour, a thousand and seven hundred, [are] over the inspection of Israel, beyond the Jordan westward, for all the work of Jehovah, and for the service of the king.

31 Of the Hebronite, Jerijah [is] the head, of the Hebronite, according to his generations, for the fathers -- in the fortieth year of the reign of David they have been sought out, and there are found among them mighty ones of valour, in Jazer of Gilead --

32 and his brethren, sons of valour, two thousand and seven hundred, [are] heads of the fathers, and king David appointeth them over the Reubenite, and the Gadite, and the half of the tribe of Manasseh, for every matter of God and matter of the king.