The Scientology Cult..... Movie.... Good stuff!

[_Jersey Girl]

Patience, another few hours.... LOL

Patience? I'm from Jersey where it doesn't exist.

[_Jersey Girl]

No matter how it went. Watch. this.

All of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26U_seo0a1g&list=PLYzEWmEmHyL-8LfXf5PkTzFiIggMWrDZD

[_ldsfaqs]

Amazing news.....

As I started to explain my essentially do or die ultimatum, she told me the roommate had changed her mind, and will move out as soon as she can.
So, didn't even have to say the rest. I did summarize some of it.
She told me it took her so long, because she was angry with me. She wouldn't actually say why, how, and didn't want to. She can't talk about problems for some reason, she always want's to look forward. She wouldn't say why even the periods that were good, especially the last 9 months together, why I somehow wasn't good enough, and she should be mad at me. Nor why two years after the divorce she said she was sorry, asked me to forgive her and she wanted to come back, and then 3 weeks later she changes her mind, and the she's angry with me again for some reason, even though I didn't do anything.

Anyway, was talking with her, and something else I wanted from her, but didn't demand that she continue to open her heart, to not close it, for us to be together again, even though I know it's not her desire atm, etc., and I'm not going to pressure her etc. about it, but asked for her to keep her heart open to the Lord. She seemed to sort of "imply" without saying it, that if I'm there doing my part, and things work out, that maybe.....

So, hopefully within the next month and a half, I will be with my family again.
Now that I have a certainty of things, the next few days, I will be on the ball again, doing everything I need to and to prepare, etc.
We even spent some time laughing together after with all of us together, with the boys.

God has finally answered my prayers..... Now comes the work, but joy also.
I know I'm not going to screw it up..... I hope she stays faithful in her intentions also.

Thanks for the positive thoughts and support..... It's nice to talk without it being about good and evil.

Thanks for the video also..... Reminded me of the motivational videos we would watch when I played Football.
Appreciated.

[_Jersey Girl]

THAT WAS SO FREAKING COOL!!!

[_ldsfaqs]

Thank you....

[_Jersey Girl]

She told me it took her so long, because she was angry with me. She wouldn't actually say why, how, and didn't want to. She can't talk about problems for some reason, she always want's to look forward. She wouldn't say why even the periods that were good, especially the last 9 months together, why I somehow wasn't good enough, and she should be mad at me. Nor why two years after the divorce she said she was sorry, asked me to forgive her and she wanted to come back, and then 3 weeks later she changes her mind, and the she's angry with me again for some reason, even though I didn't do anything.

Some ideas...

1. Maybe talking about anger makes her feel weak or vulnerable.
2. Maybe it's pride.
3. Maybe you actually did do something that upset her that she's too embarrassed to talk about.
4. Could be a power/control issue.

If you haven't already, you could try saying something like, "I feel like you're angry right now. Can you tell me why?"

A therapist would tell you that the source of anger is often hurt feelings.

Maybe you could say, "Can you tell me if I hurt your feelings?"

When women are upset, they like to talk about whatever is going on. When women talk, it helps us to process our feelings.

A woman who is an introvert or afraid of being hurt or whatever, might not want to talk about anything at all.

Then you have women who expect you to read their minds. They huff around or whatever, and really what they're doing is waiting for you to notice something is wrong and for you to make the first move.

Some women will keep you at arms length until you've proven to them that you can be trusted.

Then you have women like me who are going to be direct and tell you straight up what they're thinking.

Good luck with that!

[_Jersey Girl]

Thank you....

It takes a lot of courage to do what you did today, Lee. It sounds like you've got a realistic view of things, so keep that sense of hope.

And you're welcome. Believe me when I tell you, I am sure there are people reading here who aren't at all surprised by what they are reading that's coming out of my keyboard.

:-)

[_ldsfaqs]

Ya, believe me, tried every which way but loose in the entire relationship with that woman.
With my varied life in youth, I actually prepared myself in every way possible to have the greatest marriage ever, but I didn't anticipate what I got, someone who just couldn't care (though not always, sometimes she was wonderful).

My Therapist believes she clearly has NPD at least the part where she can't emphathise.
He often tells me with things I've discussed with him, that one can't ration what is irrational in a thought disorded person.
Many have often said that she seems to have a small form of "split personality" disorder.

I think it was hear in Utah, heard on the news that a girl was arguing with her father, she didn't want to leave a friends house, they were going about 40 and they went around a corner and she jumped out of the car and he ran her over with his rear tire.
That story reminded me of my ex..... On day she also flipped out, arguing about nothing, and she also jumped out of the car, fortunately I'm observant and I slowed down so she didn't hurt herself too bad.

Anyway, just rambling.....
Now to look to the present and future, create some of what should have been before..... Hopefully she can remain stable this time, us be friends first, and hopefully I can truly matter to her one day, that she would want to do nothing to hurt me, because I've always been such to her.

[_Jersey Girl]

Ya, believe me, tried every which way but loose in the entire relationship with that woman.
With my varied life in youth, I actually prepared myself in every way possible to have the greatest marriage ever, but I didn't anticipate what I got, someone who just couldn't care (though not always, sometimes she was wonderful).

My Therapist believes she clearly has NPD at least the part where she can't emphathise.
He often tells me with things I've discussed with him, that one can't ration what is irrational in a thought disorded person.
Many have often said that she seems to have a small form of "split personality" disorder.

I think it was hear in Utah, heard on the news that a girl was arguing with her father, she didn't want to leave a friends house, they were going about 40 and they went around a corner and she jumped out of the car and he ran her over with his rear tire.
That story reminded me of my ex..... On day she also flipped out, arguing about nothing, and she also jumped out of the car, fortunately I'm observant and I slowed down so she didn't hurt herself too bad.

Anyway, just rambling.....
Now to look to the present and future, create some of what should have been before..... Hopefully she can remain stable this time, us be friends first, and hopefully I can truly matter to her one day, that she would want to do nothing to hurt me, because I've always been such to her.

You know what, I'd run the new developments by the therapist. Just check in and see what his advice is to you. You can live with someone with NPD, but you need to be sure how to handle it because it's easy to get sucked into an unhealthy dynamic, knowing that when you change your behavior that when all is said and done, the other person in the relationship basically has 2 choices. 1) Change their behavior in response in order to maintain the relationship or 2) leave the relationship. A person with NPD (keep in mind that's his best guess) might not be able to meet your needs in ways that are fulfilling to you. But that's your call.

Conjoint therapy would probably be a good future goal and I don't mean the Bishop either. ;-) Anyway, I'm sure the therapist can offer insight.

Personally, I think if you do your homework with the therapist and if her psychology somehow fits your psychology in such a way that you both can live with and feel okay about, then I'd give it a whirl.

I mean, someone actually lives with ME. Can you even imagine?

[Guest]

Wow! What a drastic derailment of the OP of this thread! Yet, I have to say I like the way this discussion has turned. If the end result of this discussion is that ldsfaqs gets his life back together in a positive way and winds up with a happier and more harmonious and functional family situation, I don't think any of us here would be unhappy to see that happen.

Ldsfaqs, I genuinely wish the best for you and your family, and I don't think that is a minority opinion amongst the regulars here. Though many of us honestly disagree with many of your assertions and find them to be unfounded and poorly thought out or based on questionable sources, I think that few of us (if any) really bear you any ill will. I know that I don't, and you have, on occasion, made some good points of which most of us would approve.

Just don't be so quick to conclude that anyone who disagrees with you on anything is necessarily a liar with evil intentions, or liberal, or even that liberals are incapable of getting anything right.