Democrats Beg Trump to Stop Impeaching Himself So They Have Something to Do Satire from The Borowitz Report
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an unexpected twist in the impeachment drama engulfing Washington, leading congressional Democrats have begged Donald Trump to stop impeaching himself so that they have something to do.
In a press conference on Friday morning, Representative Adam Schiff, the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, and Nancy Pelosi, the Speaker of the House, both implored Trump to stop relentlessly spewing impeachable offenses, complaining that this practice was rendering their jobs irrelevant.
“Mr. President, as much as we appreciate your help, please, stop doing our work for us,” Pelosi said. “Give us a reason to get up in the morning and go to the office.”
“I know that you’re in no mood to do me a favor, Mr. President, but hear me out,” Schiff added. “I’m trained as a prosecutor. My entire life has been building to a case like your impeachment. But if you persist in impeaching yourself on an almost hourly basis, that really wrecks the challenge for me.”
Just minutes after the Democrats’ press conference, Trump appeared to turn a deaf ear to their entreaties, as he publicly asked the nations of Belgium, Turkmenistan, Malta, and Peru to dig up dirt on Joe Biden.
Nomomo wrote: Just minutes after the Democrats’ press conference, Trump appeared to turn a deaf ear to their entreaties, as he publicly asked the nations of Belgium, Turkmenistan, Malta, and Peru to dig up dirt on Joe Biden.
Nomomo wrote: Just minutes after the Democrats’ press conference, Trump appeared to turn a deaf ear to their entreaties, as he publicly asked the nations of Belgium, Turkmenistan, Malta, and Peru to dig up dirt on Joe Biden.
I can't even with this guy any more. He's entirely lost his ____. Assuming he had some level of ____ to lose going in.
I agree. But you didn’t take the Borowitz Report as factual, right?
“The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists.”
― Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism, 1951
Res Ipsa wrote: I agree. But you didn’t take the Borowitz Report as factual, right?
I confess I didn't actually read it. I fell for ____ in my haste, right?
Yeah, but Borowitz does pretty clever satire that fools lots of folks.
And it’s easy to do when real life and parody look so much alike.
Last edited by Guest on Fri Oct 04, 2019 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists.”
― Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism, 1951
Res Ipsa wrote: Yeah, but Borowitz does pretty clever satire that fools lots of folks.
And it’s easy to do when real life and parody look so much alike.
I'm listening to something and not really attending. Pay me no mind...but please for the love of Mike fix my typo in your copy of my post. I fixed the original.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
Res Ipsa wrote: Yeah, but Borowitz does pretty clever satire that fools lots of folks.
And it’s easy to do when real life and parody look so much alike.
I'm listening to something and not really attending. Pay me no mind...but please for the love of Mike fix my typo in your copy of my post. I fixed the original.
Done.
“The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists.”
― Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism, 1951
Even though it's satire, Trump blatant admitting to the crime on TV does present a challenge for impeachment investigators. They have to deal with Trump and the GOP normalizing the admin's crimes (which they've been doing for a long time now). They like the well what do you expect a rabid jackal to do? defense.
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.
