Donny Osmond is Suck

[Cultellus]

Donny Osmond was on the Adam Carolla Show. I listened to his schtick for the whole set. Donny is a piece of work. He was promoting his new reinvention of self and his new album. I was on a long drive so I pulled it up and tried to get through the album. Uh, this album is fershit.

Here is a sample, and damn, it just gets worse, and worse, and worse. This dude should have just got high on edibles, pounded whiskey, taken an IV of liquified Funyuns and recorded himself singing puppy love underwater, it would have been a lot better than this disaster.

See for yourself. But, do not do this with a full stomach. I warned you.

The official video:
https://youtu.be/roWeNTl2wSk


Audio only
https://youtu.be/q8IDEFD6tO8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEIs8LOxdfY

[Father Francis]

Sure, it's bad, but not really noteworthy in a sea of horrid pop music.

To quote Tyler the Creator, I'll stab Bruno Mars in his goddamn esophagus. Now that's noteworthy. Hit me up for more offensive lyrics. I have millions of em.

[Cultellus]

Sure, it's bad, but not really noteworthy in a sea of horrid pop music.

It is noteworthy bad because this clown is 63 years old, he sucks, and he is making awful pop music with a video of him dancing like a dork.

[Father Francis]

Sure, it's bad, but not really noteworthy in a sea of horrid pop music.

It is noteworthy bad because this clown is 63 years old, he sucks, and he is making awful pop music with a video of him dancing like a dork.

I guess you never heard of David Hasselhoff?

[Cultellus]

It is noteworthy bad because this clown is 63 years old, he sucks, and he is making awful pop music with a video of him dancing like a dork.

I guess you never heard of David Hasselhoff?

Oh Jesus. They may even have the same surgeon. Jesus Christ.

[Doctor Steuss]

I don’t know if I’m alone in this, but if I haven’t heard a song before, and there’s a music video, I will usually watch music videos with the sound off first.

That being said, and not having listened to the song itself yet, I think the video could have benefited from 38% more sparkles, and 13% more lower lip biting.

[Cultellus]

I don’t know if I’m alone in this, but if I haven’t heard a song before, and there’s a music video, I will usually watch music videos with the sound off first.

That being said, and not having listened to the song itself yet, I think the video could have benefited from 38% more sparkles, and 13% more lower lip biting.

I think it would benefit from having 11 Donnys dancing with Donnys, rather than just 3.

[Doctor Steuss]

I think it would benefit from having 11 Donnys dancing with Donnys, rather than just 3.

Or perhaps a video with a Shatner cameo, and dancing Donnys reproducing like Tribbles.

Y'know what, I think we need to figure out a way to get ahold of Donny's agent.

Gotta figure out a way to work in the Hoff somehow. And maybe Tony Danza... just because.


ETA: I'm dense, and only now got the twelve dancing Donnys reference.

[Cultellus]

ETA: I'm dense, and only now got the twelve dancing Donnys reference.

Yeah. It was like the Glamor Shots people were doing video instead of portraits.

[huckelberry]

I am pretty sure its Rolling Stones fans around here. Have been since their music first made it across the pond.