“This doesn’t make any sense.”, thought Captain Picard to himself.
“He
dares lecture me, compels me to read his sacred scriptures, and relentlessly abuses me,”
The captain unsteadily rises to his feet, holding the threadbare slip to his waist lest his immodesty be exposed to the ever watchful Cardassian cameras stationed around the room.
“but
he himself is
unworthy to point a finger, to cast aspersion, to
judge those he views as contemptible!”
Captain Picard squints at the lights again, carefully counting each one, assuring himself there are only four, not five, like he’s been told over the course of his torturous stay in captivity.
“
He, is not married.
He has directly disobeyed his own god.
He refuses to obey, his, own, god. What gives
him the right to tell others how to live their lives, that they’re broken people, when
he can’t, nay,
won’t marry unto himself a woman?!?”
“This …
Wade Englund is a filthy hypocrite! I will not let this go! I won’t! I won’t let it go! No! He’s a fake! A fraud! A heretic, I say! Come I say! Come take away my torturer! He’s the one who debases himself, lives a lie, a sad, pathetic lie.”
Gul Sulmat looks at Wade Englund in disbelief.
“Is this true Wade? You’re not married? You’ve never been married? How can this be…”
“Impossible. No LDS man skirts this godly mandate. No true LDS man would risk his eternal salvation because he’s… he’s… well, what are you exactly, Wade, if you’re in defiance of God’s will on this matter? Even if you’re an asexual, or bisexual, or homosexual that doesn’t give you an excuse to not marry a godly woman, Wade. How else would she get into heaven?”
Gul Sulmat steps back, astonished by his own realization.
“You’re a devil.”, he whispered, almost inaudibly. His hand cups his mouth, scarcely believing he uttered those words himself.
“Guards. Please escort Captain Picard back to his quarters. Prepare to return him to his people.”
The guards leave with Captain Picard.
“Wade, please have a seat, and while you’re at it, let me suggest a passage in the D&C ….”
- Doc
Hugh Nibley claimed he bumped into Adolf Hitler, Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Gertrude Stein, and the Grand Duke Vladimir Romanoff. Dishonesty is baked into Mormonism.