doubtingthomas’s topics MEGATHREAD

[Res Ipsa]

Don't know if Invisibilia is already in your rotation or not, but there was a really cool episode back in 2015 on this topic, and the difference in therapeutic approaches (i.e. Jungian-esque is no bueno) when it comes to OCD and dark thoughts.

Same to you man. Why are you allowing Marcus to make wild accusations based on some stupid confirmation bias? This is so sick.

Why do you think this has anything to do with you, DT?

[Marcus]

...and I will never again create another thread about these topics. I'll stop...

Looking forward to it.

[doubtingthomas]

Why do you think this has anything to do with you, DT?

I am simply pointing out that Marcus keeps insisting that I follow online incels. That's a serious accusation that could ruin someone's life.

She has no evidence other than confirmation bias.

I shared an article published in a feminist magazine, but that still doesn't stop Marcus from making wild and unfair accusations.

[doubtingthomas]

...and I will never again create another thread about these topics. I'll stop...

Looking forward to it.

You should read this, "Dating Apps Have Made Women Too Picky For The Wrong Reasons"

https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/datin ... ng-reasons

It's your type of Magazine. I bet you have some editions at home.

[Marcus]

...and I will never again create another thread about these topics. I'll stop...

Looking forward to it.

You should read this, "Dating Apps Have Made Women Too Picky For The Wrong Reasons"
https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/datin ... ng-reasons

It's your type of Magazine. I bet you have some editions at home.

I read your link. It has no beating on your threads. Will you be following through on your promise?

[doubtingthomas]

The brain does all kinds of things under the hood — out of sight of our consciousness. It can form powerful patterns of thoughts and emotions without conscious intent or awareness. And, given the right circumstances, it can probably can happen to any brain.

True. Imagine spending a lot of money on dating apps for years to only get a few good matches.

I probably have spent thousands of dollars on dating apps. Some women talk to me, then I get ghosted.

That being said, I don't hate women. I am not a misogynist, regardless of the fact that I've been treated like crap.

[doubtingthomas]

I read your link. It has no beating on your threads. Will you be following through on your promise?

Sure. I am tired of talking to you. Your dishonesty is wasting my time.

[Marcus]

...I am not a misogynist, regardless of the fact that I've been treated like crap.

you post misogynistic comments. that's why people tell you you are being misogynistic. because you are.

[Res Ipsa]

DT: “ You don't have to ignore me, I am done. Really.”

And the very next post is by DT.

I do appreciate your efforts in trying to help me. I will soon see a doctor and I will never again create another thread about these topics. I'll stop.

I'm glad you understand what I'm trying to do. Here's a suggestion: read through your recent posts and notice how many times you tell me or others what you are going to do. Why do you think you are doing that? Why do you think you keep talking about stopping but not stopping? I'm not expecting answer, but I think it would be worthwhile to take a step back and ask yourself those questions.

You would be doing yourself a big favor by making an appointment instead telling me you are going to see a doctor. Same with stopping posting on this and your related threads. I'm speaking from personal experience here: it's easy to tell yourself you're going to change tomorrow. What's hard is taking a concrete step. But, once you take that concrete step, you'll have some momentum in the right direction. And you'll have accomplished something, which will likely generate good feelings about yourself.

Think about that last interaction with Jersey Girl. You told her that you were done. Really. And in the next breath, you disputed what she said. You said you were done, but something was clearly stopping you from being done. What compelled you to not stop?

I respond because Marcus is making some serious and false accusations against me. She's accusing me of following incel extremists, that's a very serious accusation.

Your brain will always find some way to rationalize not stopping. That's why it's so hard to stop.

Notice what you did, though. I pointed out your interaction with Jersey Girl. You pivoted to Marcus. You weren't responding to Marcus when you posted to Jersey Girl to argue with her right after you told her you were done.

Why don't you call her out on that? There's no evidence that I follow the incels. This is BS man! It's so wrong on many levels. Her accusations are serious enough to ruin the life of someone.

Now you're deflecting and catastrophising. Marcus, like me, is some rando on a message board. Marcus is reacting to your posts. You're saying Marcus is wrong. The rest of us who are actually reading this thread are fully competent adults who are fully capable of reading your posts and making up their own minds. Marcus is not some sort of Svengali who can put us all under his spell. The odds that what some randomizes says about you on an anonymous message board are so close to zero it's not worth thinking about.

As you realize that I'm attempting to help you as opposed to calling you out, why are we talking about me calling Marcus out? Nothing that Marcus says has anything to do with me trying to help you.

Marcus has a very nasty and manipulative strategy and you are not calling her out on that. Why do you only call me out? This is not a game man. Don't ruin the respect I have for you.

You see how far you've slipped here? From saying you appreciate my help to accusing me of playing games and calling you out. That's your defense mechanism that are desperately trying to convince you that everyone but you is responsible for you situation.

Since you mentioned manipulation, I'll give you my 100% non-expert opinions on manipulation based totally on life experience. First, people who engage in manipulative behaviors typically have no idea that they are doing so. Second, they aren't intending to manipulate -- they are simply practicing learned behavior that has been successful over time in getting things they want. Third, the chance of getting someone who employs manipulation to stop by calling them out is roughly zero. If you have a good relationship with them, and they are receptive to learning about their own manipulative behavior, simply labeling could help. If you have an antagonistic relationship, don't bother. Finally, manipulation is all about control, and you can't control other people's behavior. What I do when I encounter a person who engages in manipulative behavior is simply avoid engagement. It's pretty effective. If you think Marcus is being nasty and manipulative, put Marcus on ignore.

As you and I have a decent relationship, I'm going to give you an example: "Don't ruin the respect I have for you." is a 100% bona fide manipulative statement. You are responsible for deciding whom to respect, not me. I have zero say in whether you respect me or not. This particular manipulative statement is a poor one to use on me because my sense of self worth depends in no way on whether you respect me or not. Respect is nice, but it's worth to me is far less important than your risk of ending up becoming a big ball of hate consumed by resentment.

If I want to stop being anonymous someday, that will be impossible thanks to Marcus.

So, that's plain old scapegoating. It's how you got on the path that you're on today. It's exactly the same as I got rejected because girls are too picky. The only obstacle to you shedding your anonymity here is your own words. Like it or not, whether you follow incels or not, you're on the path to joining the red pillars. The things you've said here about young women, your obsession with who they choose as partners, your resentment over the Gabby Petitos of this world, and the blaming of others for your own unhappiness are the same as what we see in incels. That similarity is what you should be worried about -- not someone pointing it out to you (regardless of how offense you find the style of the pointing out).

I would advise anyone to stick with anonymity here. This can be a brutal place and there is a history of people who decided to pursue their on board grievances in real life. Better safe than sorry.

[Res Ipsa]

True. Imagine spending a lot of money on dating apps for years to only get a few good matches.

I probably have spent thousands of dollars on dating apps. Some women talk to me, then I get ghosted.

That being said, I don't hate women. I am not a misogynist, regardless of the fact that I've been treated like crap.

The most blatant of misogynists don't think they hate women. The evidence is in how they talk about and act toward women.