For Mormons and Exmormons: Object Lessons in Church

[_barrelomonkeys]

This explains why I felt like a freak magnet for some men when I stumbled across these boards.

Gotta say I think it screws with the men as much as the women.

:(

But I'm over it now. :)

[_MishMagnet]

And, on the other hand, I married a man who knew nothing about the Mormon church. It's amazing to me how little thought nevermo's give virginity.

[_barrelomonkeys]

And, on the other hand, I married a man who knew nothing about the Mormon church. It's amazing to me how little thought nevermo's give virginity.

None of the men in my life cared at all. <edited for neurotic reasons ;)>

I think there is still a lot of pressure to remain a virgin from society at large. The pressure to wait until you're mature enough to handle sex is a given in society. It's just not wrapped in the hellfire of sin.

There is a lot of pressure from society for women to stay chaste. Every single one of my girlfriends lie about how many men they've been with. That number is rather important that it stay on one hand.

The slut term is tossed about often in society and there is pressure for women not to be sexually active.

There's also the idea that women should not enjoy sex. So if a woman is sexually active she's seen as suffering from low self esteem and we analyze these women to try to figure out what's wrong with them instead of recognizing that women too enjoy intercourse as much as men. If not more so. ;)

[_Scottie]

Yeah, to hear the apologists talk about it, they have never, ever in their x years of membership seen or heard any...

hiding of church history/teaching only the whitewashed history
ANY mention that you should avoid anti-mormon material like the plague
teachings of anything that might put undue pressure and guilt on the members
harsh judgement of those who don't take the sacrament
excessive callings that take men out of the home for undue amounts of time
any apologist claim that all of Joseph Smith's plural marriages were strictly platonic
that spiritual confirmations of other religions are a witness of the portions of the truth that religion has
contradictions in revelation by prophets
...

Their dishonesty in these matters is what gets me. I mean, seriously. For as many exmo's who claim that all of these things are not only mentioned, but pretty commonplace, it's amazing to me that these guys have never heard of them.

[_Scottie]

There's also the idea that women should not enjoy sex. So if a woman is sexually active she's seen as suffering from low self esteem and we analyze these women to try to figure out what's wrong with them instead of recognizing that women too enjoy intercourse as much as men. If not more so. ;)

This is funny because after the divorce from my prude, dead-fish ex wife, I was utterly convinced that women hated sex. After all, my ex told me how Oprah said that ninety-something percent of all housewives claim to not enjoy it.

Oh boy was I ever wrong!!

[_MishMagnet]

Yes, that is correct in my view, there has always been a double standard about sexual activity in our US culture. It is much more forgivable, even expected in men. There is a stigma for women who enjoy sex, even if that woman is married.

When I was a teenager two sister missionaries were raped by an intruder into their apartment. He held them at gunpoint. The Bishops wife was also raped, she had been on splits with these sister missionaries.

I remember my father crying as he related this story to me. I have always wondered what happened to these women. I hope they turned out okay. Even though you can tell a rape victim over and over that this isn't their fault, they are not damaged goods, I imagine it's next to impossible to internalize that message.

When I hear these inane messages like licked cupcakes, stained wedding dresses and so forth I think of THOSE women and it makes me horribly, horribly angry. Do we think teenagers have the same understanding that these teachers do? A high percentage of us (females) are sexually abused as children. Anywhere from 20-60% of women (obviously this is very difficult to find a definite statistic since most of it goes unreported.)

Anyway, sorry to be a downer but I get so angry, I hurt so much for women who have been coerced and forced into sexual activity and then get these religious and societal messages that they are no longer desirable. My family was overly active in church - I have been through the whole course of things, seminary grad, into BYU and I don't EVER remember a chastity talk that allowed for those vicitms of sexual abuse.

I'm worth much much more than my virginity.

[_Yoda]

The moral to KA's story is......

Being a licked cupcake can be fun!

;)

[_MishMagnet]

I think the moral is that people are worth more than all the cupcakes in the world. At least that's my moral.

[_LifeOnaPlate]

Yeah, to hear the apologists talk about it, they have never, ever in their x years of membership seen or heard any...

hiding of church history/teaching only the whitewashed history

seen it

ANY mention that you should avoid anti-mormon material like the plague

seen it (not from any G.A., however.

teachings of anything that might put undue pressure and guilt on the members

Seen it (not the cupcake one, though)

harsh judgement of those who don't take the sacrament

Haven't seen this by any leaders

excessive callings that take men out of the home for undue amounts of time

Seen it. (this was just discussed in GC)

any apologist claim that all of Joseph Smith's plural marriages were strictly platonic

Haven't seen a published account, Shades said Quinn referred to a few, I haven't personally seen it, but have seen arguments that only some of the marriages were platonic.

that spiritual confirmations of other religions are a witness of the portions of the truth that religion has
contradictions in revelation by prophets

Can you clarify this one? I'll just say I believe God would witness of truth in the LDS Church, or if that same truth was taught elsewhere.

Their dishonesty in these matters is what gets me. I mean, seriously. For as many exmo's who claim that all of these things are not only mentioned, but pretty commonplace, it's amazing to me that these guys have never heard of them.

Maybe "they" aren't dishonest, just stupid? ;)[/quote]

[_SatanWasSetUp]

First person is given a Lifesaver. Instructed to put the Life Saver in his/her mouth. Then remove it. Pass to the next person, pass to the next person, on down the rows. The last person is instructed to put the Life Saver in his/her mouth and of course they won't and there is much ewwwwing at the thought. Well, that's how it is when you are slutty, too.

A very sticky and unsanitary object lesson!

LOL. When I was in seminary, I was a bit of a smartass, plus I've never been a germ phone. I wish we had the lifesaver lesson when I was a teen because I would've taken that sticky licked lifesaver and popped it in my mouth just to see all the girls go "Ewww," plus it would've ruined the teacher's lesson, which was always a plus for me as a kid.