What Happens After Suicide?

[_MishMagnet]

Hypatia, I'm so sorry. I hadn't heard anything about this. We met in October and I'd heard about your husband. I was so sad then and I am completely shocked that this has happened since then. I am deeply saddened. I can't believe one person could have such a burden. I'm so sorry, again. I don't even know what to say.

[_antishock8]

They're at peace. That's where they're at. I'm sorry you have to experience this. :(

[_KimberlyAnn]

Hypatia, I also met you in October, and am so very sorry for your tremendous loss. I lack the words to express anything appropriate, other than to tell you you're in my thoughts.

Kimberly Ann

[_truth dancer]

Dearest Hypatia,

My heart goes out to you... I'm so sorry.

A good therapist, the healing balm of time, flowing tears, and the support and care of your loved ones will keep you going. Avail yourself of whatever your heart and spirit need.

My deepest wishes of peace, healing, light, and love to you.

~dancer~

[_Sethbag]

Let me first say that as I read your words, Hypatia, I felt a very deep emotional response, one of sorrow and sadness, and of really hurting for you. I have one daughter, and the thought of losing her in any way, much less by her own hand, is something too horrible to contemplate.

I really do hope you can find some kind of peace. You need to live on, and be as happy as you can be, and help others, and help others be happy too.

As for where they're at, I detect a hesitancy by people who have posted thusfar to tell you what they really think, because you're hurting, and they think perhaps you can't handle the "truth", as they see it. But you're an adult, and I will share with you what I think. I think they're nowhere. When they died their consciousnesses faded away and ceased to exist, and never will come back. They exist now as memories with you and with others who knew them.

I think one aspect of my losing my LDS faith, and recognizing the likely manmade nature of all the other religions I'd ever been exposed to, has been coming to grips with the likelihood that when we die, that really is it for us. We didn't exist before we were conceived and born, and we won't exist again after we die, and that's reality. All we can do is accept that, for whatever reason, or even for no reason, if it turns out that way, we exist, and we have feelings, desires, dreams, aspirations, relationships with other people, etc. We can seek happiness because we can feel happiness, and we can achieve it in enjoy it, whether there's some eternal point to it or not.

I don't think that there is necessarily any cosmic, ultimate "reason" we're all here. But it is a fact that we are here, and we can make of this life what we will, and be happy, or we can be unhappy and suffer, and it's really our choice. I prefer to try to be happy, and to think on the positives. But I now fairly firmly believe that when I die it'll be the end of me. Coming from an LDS background, I don't necessarily like that, but I think it's reality, and I want to be able to face reality, and live my life as well as I can, and make the most of it. That's all we can do.

Again, I'm very, very sorry for your loss. It breaks my heart trying to even imagine what you must have gone through. As an adult, I respect you and don't wish to lead you on with little "white" deceptions about where they are, however. I hope you can find peace and reconciliation with things as they are. I truly wish things had gone otherwise for you.

[_Trinity]

Hi Hypatia,

I sure wish we as human beings had the capacity to physically take away some of the pain another may be feeling. You certainly deserve to have that load lightened.

The only thing I remember as being comforting when suicide has touched my life was the reality that these loved ones of our are no longer in suffering, are no longer in pain. They're at peace.

[_charity]

As for where they're at, I detect a hesitancy by people who have posted thusfar to tell you what they really think, because you're hurting, and they think perhaps you can't handle the "truth", as they see it.

There was no hestitancy for me and I do resent your attempt to override what those of us have said to fall in line with your own personal philosophy.

My own mother believes as you, setbag. And though I not only love her very much, but I respect her it doesn't change the fact that she is wrong. I have had several sacred experiences which confirm to me that we do continue on after this life, as our identifiable selves.

[cacheman]

This hits home to me very deeply. The last week of June of last year I tried to end my own life. I'm glad I didn't succeed, and I often wonder how I got to that point, and I can see now that I wasn't thinking particularly clearly, my medications had become ineffective, and I responded to hurt and stress rather poorly. That doesn't take away my part in making that decision, but I don't think I or anyone else who gets that far is totally responsible for their actions.

So, maybe it's self-interest, but I feel like God understands what we are going through and will not judge us for things that are beyond our control, such as when a medical problem with depression spirals out of control.

I'm really sorry for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you.

[_Some Schmo]

As for where they're at, I detect a hesitancy by people who have posted thusfar to tell you what they really think, because you're hurting, and they think perhaps you can't handle the "truth", as they see it.

There was no hestitancy for me and I do resent your attempt to override what those of us have said to fall in line with your own personal philosophy.

My own mother believes as you, setbag. And though I not only love her very much, but I respect her it doesn't change the fact that she is wrong. I have had several sacred experiences which confirm to me that we do continue on after this life, as our identifiable selves.

Holy crap, charity, I doubt he was even talking about you. Aren't you the one who's always harping on people for applying others' general observations to themselves and getting uptight about it?

Sethbag described my own hesitancy perfectly. It didn't seem like he was trying to "override" what you had said; he was adding his own opinion to the mix. Why are you so threatened by his comments? Are you so insecure about your own opinion that you can't let it co-exist with differing ones?

You need to grow up and recognize that just because people say something that may conflict with what you say does not necessarily mean they're trying to harm you in any way.

[_charity]

Holy crap, charity, I doubt he was even talking about you. Aren't you the one who's always harping on people for applying others' general observations to themselves and getting uptight about it?

Sethbag described my own hesitancy perfectly. It didn't seem like he was trying to "override" what you had said; he was adding his own opinion to the mix. Why are you so threatened by his comments? Are you so insecure about your own opinion that you can't let it co-exist with differing ones?

You need to grow up and recognize that just because people say something that may conflict with what you say does not necessarily mean they're trying to harm you in any way.

Point taken. But I think umbrage is more accurate. We all speak for ourselves. We don't need one poster to try to interpret for us. Especially, when we each are trying to offer comfort in one of life's most tragic circumstances.

I apologize for taking the topic off topic. I have taught about the grieving process, and this circumstance combines two of the most difficult types of grieving--suicide and the loss of a child. I can't imagine anything worse, and my heart certainly goes out to Hypatia.