Spiritual beings having human experiences

[_Inconceivable]

Sure it makes sense. In many NDEs I've read, the witness points out that he is an individual and cannot separate himself from his own biases. I'm not sure we'll separate ourselves from those magically at death either. Perception certainly plays a role.

I don't think what I'm speaking of are biases although they are certainly my perceptions. I'm speaking of events where, in retrospect, the Mormon God (or perhaps his spiritual demons) outright lied to me. Innumerable times. He confirmed so many aspects of the Mormon belief system that are certainly bald face lies.

Now here's the phenomenon; When I began to ask for clarity as I sought to vindicate my heros through deeper research into their history, the heavens literally slammed shut.

I have been spiritually blacklisted ever since.

No matter what I've attempted to illicite any kind of response - nothing (Hence, my new Avatar. Anyone like it?).

Now, one of my impressions is that our ancestors do have a connection and can influence us (as many NDE'Relief Society suggest). Think about it, particularly for the 3rd to 5th generation Mormon, imagine the legion of meddling whispers from the dust. I just don't think there's really anyone on the other side to set the ignorant dead Mormon straight.

If this is truly the case, after I die, I plan to hunt down and kick the asses of all those that influenced my spiritual connections in such a nearsighted and and misleading way. Regardless of their intent.

Losing hope and faith in the spiritual is truly the loneliest feeling I've ever experienced. I just don't have any conceivable notion as to how it could possibly be healed.

[_ajax18]

If this is truly the case, after I die, I plan to hunt down and kick the asses of all those that influenced my spiritual connections in such a nearsighted and and misleading way. Regardless of their intent.

Admittedly my biggest pet peave is someone affirming they know for sure and then turn out to be wrong. I guess that's what I've done in a way but I don't think I'm going to be wrong on the existence of the spirit world. And for those who dispute, there'd be no way to hold me accountable.

I don't think what I'm speaking of are biases although they are certainly my perceptions. I'm speaking of events where, in retrospect, the Mormon God (or perhaps his spiritual demons) outright lied to me. Innumerable times.

I'm first generation Mormon so you may have something on me there. I guess there's some parts of Mormonism I never did have a testimony of and it was a real struggle during the mission. But admittedly they never really became so significant that I had to leave the church. But there are parts of the Bible and parts of what Joseph Smith said that I still believe and feel as overjoyed as when I first read it.

Now here's the phenomenon; When I began to ask for clarity as I sought to vindicate my heros through deeper research into their history, the heavens literally slammed shut.

The Heavans or LDS Members and apologist who simply didn't want to deal with it? I see what you mean though. I've received no revelation that Mormonism is wrong either.

I have been spiritually blacklisted ever since.

I think you're letting other peoples opinions influence you too much there. I feel the same way. That's what I meant about my rebirth of confidence. Who cares what the rest of the world thinks, if you're right, you're right!

No matter what I've attempted to illicite any kind of response - nothing (Hence, my new Avatar. Anyone like it?).

I love it.

Now, one of my impressions is that our ancestors do have a connection and can influence us (as many NDE'Relief Society suggest). Think about it, particularly for the 3rd to 5th generation Mormon, imagine the legion of meddling whispers from the dust. I just don't think there's really anyone on the other side to set the ignorant dead Mormon straight.

I think there is a lot of confusion in the spirit world as well. I still don't understand it completely though. Wouldn't the mere fact that you still exist clue you into a lot? Who knows what we'll really get to remember and know there as well. Perhaps our memory will be wiped again.

Losing hope and faith in the spiritual is truly the loneliest feeling I've ever experienced. I just don't have any conceivable notion as to how it could possibly be healed.

That really sucks and I'm sorry. Perhaps being a little bit ignorant has helped me in that regard. Life always finds a way to beat me down but eventually I realize that I have no choice but to get back up and eventually I always win. You will too.

[_Inconceivable]

Now here's the phenomenon; When I began to ask for clarity as I sought to vindicate my heros through deeper research into their history, the heavens literally slammed shut.

I have been spiritually blacklisted ever since.

No matter what I've attempted to illicite any kind of response - nothing (Hence, my new Avatar. Anyone like it?).

The Heavans or LDS Members and apologist who simply didn't want to deal with it?

I think you're letting other peoples opinions influence you too much there. I feel the same way. That's what I meant about my rebirth of confidence. Who cares what the rest of the world thinks, if you're right, you're right!

I love it (the Avatar).

To clarify, the revelations from Heaven slammed shut. Wam. I wanted an answer. I guess I wanted the Mormon God to somehow give me the ultimate apologist's assurance or something. I had nearly always gotten answers that settled my soul previous to stumbling upon the history - eventually anyways.

A couple summers ago, I fasted for nearly three days, just drinking a little water while working out in the 115 degree temperature. At day two and a half I began to feel my organs shutting down. It was painful and even frightening. I prayed my guts out for consulation. I physically couldn't make it home so I stopped at a natural foods market and bought juices, vegetables etc. and sat there in my vehicle and renewed myself. About an hour later (in spite of the heat exhaustion) I gathered my strength to drive the 25 miles home. I had suffered a couple kidney infections a few years before that left some scar tissue. I should not have been fasting at all and I haven't ever since.

But even after all that. Nothing. This is what I meant by being spiritually blacklisted. If the Mormon God (or whoever) could not acknowledge my silent and self inflicted suffering (that negatively affected my health for over a month), then He is truly a parent of conditional love and confusion. He doesn't emulate the qualities I strive for as a father.

Honestly, I've always put honesty and integrity above the cost of what other people may think, say or do. I would prefer not to experience the loneliness, rejection and the stigma, but I'd rather have my personal integrity intact. I guard it like Adam holds his signs and tokens sacred.

by the way, I like the Avatar too. At one point I would have appreciated whatever response I could get.