Why not a happy apocalypse?

[_kairos]

Can u imagine one minute sitting and reading a post on mdb about the latest DCP issue or trying to figure out if the Book of Abraham scrolls were 3 feet or 60 feet long , then there is a trumpet sound, loud and beautiful and the rush of a driving, mighty wind, the sun is shining 1000 times brighter than before and you are flying through the air at the speed of light morphing from your earthly body to your multi dimensional heavenly one and in the twinkling of an eye you are caught up with Jesus in the air and he says ,without a spoken word , to you like you are the only one there- "Come blessed of my father inherit the kingdom prepared for you ..."

i can't wait!!!!

in the meantime how long are those damn scrolls and what video is DCP watching these days?

just sayin!!

[_Tobin]

Zeezrom, I think you are right.

It will be happy.
Folks anticipating crispy retribution will be disappointed.Most of them will get over their disappointment. Those who do not may satisfy their lust for barbeque on themselves.

I think you misunderstand huckelberry - most Mormons believe everyone (including themselves) will burn. It is essential to cleanse the Earth by fire. Many Mormons often attribute paying tithing as fire insurance so they don't burn up and are transformed as this happens.

[Guest]

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[_Nightlion]

OBLADEE OBLADA LIFE GOES ON LA
LA LA HOW THE LIFE GOES ON

How do you figure the world merits a happy change? The plan is to melt the earth with fervent heat so that it gets renewed, (born again) and is raised up to a paradisaical glory.

The only ones capable of a happy transfer would be those of Zion who too are born again of fire and of the Holy Ghost.

Line up at my Apocalrock Visitor Center, take a number and I will get to you as quickly as I can to educate you and the millions as per how one goes about getting spiritually ready for the big change. As expert as I am we all know that I command zero charisma, which is good, because people got to get this right and not just climb into Zion some other way.

DANG! Could have used a Church of about 10 million with Prophets Seers and Revelators and GAs and Stake Presidents and Bishops and a cadre of educational professionals to help. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! They had to be all about the money. Thanks pals. See ya.

[_Polygamy-Porter]

Why does the timing of the apocalypse depend on horrible events and general evil around the world? Why can't the apocalypse happen when the world is generally in a happy and prosperous state? Christ's coming might be the culmination of celebration. It could be a giant birthday party where people of all walks of life come to sing, dance, and make yummy food. Why does the event have to be associated with death and carnage and ruin?

Fear mongering is the number one tool of religion.

[_keithb]

The answer is that there will be a Jesus returning -- just not the Jesus that people think. It will be Raptor Jesus.

He and his kind went extinct for your sins 65 million years ago. Now, he is tired of how wicked and ungrateful the world has become, and he is coming back to eat of the flesh of humanity and redeem people from their sins.

Isn't it wonderful?

Raptor Jesus in 2413. Mark your calendars folks.

[_Shulem]

Why does the timing of the apocalypse depend on horrible events and general evil around the world? Why can't the apocalypse happen when the world is generally in a happy and prosperous state? Christ's coming might be the culmination of celebration. It could be a giant birthday party where people of all walks of life come to sing, dance, and make yummy food. Why does the event have to be associated with death and carnage and ruin?

Fear mongering is the number one tool of religion.

We totally agree, PP. It's all about maintaining fear in the hearts and minds of the people. Keep them in fear and suspense and they will continue to pay homage to the system.

Jesus is not coming back, folks. He is so long overdue that the whole religion should have died out long ago. But religious people in power keep it going. We see how Joe Smith and his buddies came along to try and outdo the pope and the Reformation in establishing a new system and called it the restoration. Just look at the power of the restoration! I refer to the Explanations of Facsimile No. 3 and you will see the restoration and the powers of Joe Smith in full swing! Such marvelous Mormon revelation!

Go Joe!

Go jezzus!



Paul O

[_Quasimodo]

Why does the timing of the apocalypse depend on horrible events and general evil around the world?

John of Patmos was a grumpy cave dweller?

[_Tobin]

Why does the timing of the apocalypse depend on horrible events and general evil around the world?

John of Patmos was a grumpy cave dweller?

He just didn't have cable, only DISH network.

[_Quasimodo]

He just didn't have cable, only DISH network.

Think how different Revelations might have been if John had been able to watch "Downton Abby".