Papyri--keep ''em; gold plates--not so fast, buddy

[drumdude]

ChatGPT agrees with me. The plates were much too sacred. They’d definitely melt your face off.

I think FAIRMormon should just pipe their website straight into ChatGPT!

[Physics Guy]

What is the logic of taking the golden plates to Heaven supposed to be, anyway? I can't think of any other precedent, in Christian or Jewish doctrine or legend, for any physical objects being taken away to Heaven, no matter how sacred.

The Ark of the Covenant simply dropped out of history; the Ethiopian church claims to have it, but I've never heard of anyone saying that it had been taken to Heaven. Medieval maguffins like the Philosopher's Stone and the Holy Grail were generally hidden on Earth, I believe. Sacred relics in the form of ancient records figure prominently in the Book of Mormon itself, for that matter. My understanding is that the Nephite tradition would be to keep such records on Earth, where they had been written by mortal hands.

I'm sure that Smith simply wanted to get people off his back about showing the plates, which either didn't exist at all or were only a crude prop that would not bear inspection. But just how did he explain that these plates had been taken to Heaven? Is there some Mormon doctrine about how Mormon's record, upon being translated by Smith, somehow attained a status among relics and scriptures like that of Zion among cities, so that it needed to be removed from the Earth and taken up into Heaven?

If so, what is the criterion for texts, or physical objects of any kind, to be assumed into Heaven? Is it something like the standard by which American books or artifacts are selected to be preserved in the Library of Congress or the Smithsonian Institution? Is there a Mormon teaching according to which anyone might someday, in principle, write a book so awesome that an angel would come down and take it?

[sock puppet]

One can never tell what the Mormon god will do from one day to another. One day he condemns plural marriage in the Book of Mormon and the next a flaming sword appears. He hides the plates, just like he, himself hides from the world. Yet, he lets the holy writ in the form of the Book of Abraham be displayed for money. He isn't consistent. That's for sure. Maybe he deliberately contradicts himself to see if the dupes faithful will remain?

Mormon god's ways are mysterious to man. Man values consistency. It invites reliance and stability. Mormon god? Consistency? Meh. More like just whichever way the wind blows at any given minute. Man values rationality. Mormon god? Not so much. Mormon god must laugh at humans and how much we value consistency and rationality.

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

What is the logic of taking the golden plates to Heaven supposed to be, anyway? I can't think of any other precedent …

The obvious con aside, you make a good point. All ancient records that have been found were allowed to speak of the myths and events either of those times, or of times further back from the writers’ points of view. It makes zero logical sense to bury a record, find it, and then have it whisked from view by a stingy and capricious deity, not to mention the artifact itself was obsolete since Joseph Smith had a glitchy iStone that was used, anyway.

- Doc

[Dr Exiled]

One can never tell what the Mormon god will do from one day to another. One day he condemns plural marriage in the Book of Mormon and the next a flaming sword appears. He hides the plates, just like he, himself hides from the world. Yet, he lets the holy writ in the form of the Book of Abraham be displayed for money. He isn't consistent. That's for sure. Maybe he deliberately contradicts himself to see if the dupes faithful will remain?

Mormon god's ways are mysterious to man. Man values consistency. It invites reliance and stability. Mormon god? Consistency? Meh. More like just whichever way the wind blows at any given minute. Man values rationality. Mormon god? Not so much. Mormon god must laugh at humans and how much we value consistency and rationality.

Humans don't know what they want. Consistency is for suckers. In finances, however, Mormon god doesn't change. 10% forever.

[malkie]

One can never tell what the Mormon god will do from one day to another. One day he condemns plural marriage in the Book of Mormon and the next a flaming sword appears. He hides the plates, just like he, himself hides from the world. Yet, he lets the holy writ in the form of the Book of Abraham be displayed for money. He isn't consistent. That's for sure. Maybe he deliberately contradicts himself to see if the dupes faithful will remain?

Mormon god's ways are mysterious to man. Man values consistency. It invites reliance and stability. Mormon god? Consistency? Meh. More like just whichever way the wind blows at any given minute. Man values rationality. Mormon god? Not so much. Mormon god must laugh at humans and how much we value consistency and rationality.

Sock has cracked it!!

Ralph Waldo Emerson is god!