SeN Expresses Concern Over The Church's Public Image

[Physics Guy]

white, oppressive, secretive, patriarchal, cultish ... and reactionary

I've only ever knowingly met a few Mormons in person, so I'm missing that direct experience of Mormonism, but after following news and blogs and boards about Mormonism for a few years now, I'm afraid my reaction to that list of adjectives is, "You mean Mormonism isn't like that?"

Rightly or wrongly, even if you dig into Mormonism a bit, what you find does tend to convey the impression that Mormonism always was, and largely still is, quite precisely white, oppressive, secretive, patriarchal, cultish, and reactionary. Even websites by faithful Mormons who are trying to portray their church positively often manage to give precisely those impressions to non-Mormons, usually by betraying assumptions that make non-Mormons blink.

As I admit, there may well be a whole other wonderful side of Mormonism that I just haven't seen. The big problem with the Mormon church's public image may be, though, that for the non-Mormon public it's hard to compensate for being overwhelmingly W, and even just a bit OSPC and R, by also being anything else, no matter how good the anything else may be. Protestations to the effect that, "Look, we are a bit patriarchal and cultish, but look at how nice and hard-working and honest we are!" tend to backfire, because a typical non-Mormon reaction today is to be too startled by the first part to hear a word of the last part. We're like, "Wait, did you say 'patriarchal and cultish'? But then go on to say 'but blah-blah-something'? Seriously?"

If you've seen even a cup of sewage go into the swimming pool, it's a pool full of sewage, no matter how warm the water. Fair or not, I think that's how people think.

[Dr. Sunstoned]

Did we really have to revisit the Liberty football tragedy? It seems descend to be the wound that never heals.

[dastardly stem]

white, oppressive, secretive, patriarchal, cultish ... and reactionary

I've only ever knowingly met a few Mormons in person, so I'm missing that direct experience of Mormonism, but after following news and blogs and boards about Mormonism for a few years now, I'm afraid my reaction to that list of adjectives is, "You mean Mormonism isn't like that?"

Rightly or wrongly, even if you dig into Mormonism a bit, what you find does tend to convey the impression that Mormonism always was, and largely still is, quite precisely white, oppressive, secretive, patriarchal, cultish, and reactionary. Even websites by faithful Mormons who are trying to portray their church positively often manage to give precisely those impressions to non-Mormons, usually by betraying assumptions that make non-Mormons blink.

As I admit, there may well be a whole other wonderful side of Mormonism that I just haven't seen. The big problem with the Mormon church's public image may be, though, that for the non-Mormon public it's hard to compensate for being overwhelmingly W, and even just a bit OSPC and R, by also being anything else, no matter how good the anything else may be. Protestations to the effect that, "Look, we are a bit patriarchal and cultish, but look at how nice and hard-working and honest we are!" tend to backfire, because a typical non-Mormon reaction today is to be too startled by the first part to hear a word of the last part. We're like, "Wait, did you say 'patriarchal and cultish'? But then go on to say 'but blah-blah-something'? Seriously?"

If you've seen even a cup of sewage go into the swimming pool, it's a pool full of sewage, no matter how warm the water. Fair or not, I think that's how people think.

PG, I appreciate thistake from one not closely tied to Mormonism. Very interesting. Having been heavily enmeshed and sitting on the outside it’s really hard to understand how everyone else sees it. And apparently Dan pretty much nailed what others think. That speaks well of Dan all things considered.

[Dr Moore]

I have to say, as a lifelong Mormon, this community is very fortunate to benefit from the attention and contribution of Physics Guy.

[drumdude]

If you've seen even a cup of sewage go into the swimming pool, it's a pool full of sewage, no matter how warm the water. Fair or not, I think that's how people think.

Ironically, the church teaches this as doctrine. Telling women who have had premarital sex once that they are “licked cupcakes.”

[Paloma]

Here are some comments and questions I've heard from fellow non-LDS (pertaining to the temple only) that help explain the negative image:

"Why is their church closed to the public?" (coming from the considerable number who think the LDS Temple is the one and only meeting place)

"Why do they tear families apart?" (coming from those who have experienced or heard about the exclusion of family members from LDS temple weddings)

"What goes on in that fancy building?" (coming from those who equate the grand temple structures with strange practices - probably because that's what we typically do with the unknown and forbidden)

"Why don't they worship on Sundays?" (coming from those who've observed the parking lot at the temple is empty on Sundays)

It seems ironic to me that what seems so central, beautiful (and appealing?) to LDS folk is actually a turn-off to non-LDS. It reminds me of the Johari window. If only we knew our blind spots and hidden areas.

[Paloma]

After writing about what I think are common non-LDS perceptions related to their observations of Temple matters, I'm thinking about how LDS missionaries may address the matter and try to alleviate concerns.

I know from experience that any conversation about the Temple almost certainly ends up with a discussion of 'worthiness'. And therein lies another blind spot!

When a non-LDS person hears "if/when you become worthy", can you doubt that most of us hear "you unworthy person, you are not worthy"! Again, a major turn-off that's altogether unrecognized. For the LDS missionaries I've had this conversation with, it's seemingly been incomprehensible to them that the 'worthiness' language (sometimes including the word 'valiant') that's been part of their lives since birth or since their conversion is actually an insulting obstacle rather than an aid to their efforts.

And, of course, the missionaries can't address the 'secret' (perceived as 'secretive') aspects of the temple, so in many cases all that remains is piled-on negativity in the view of the non-LDS hearer.

I have a friend who's a devout LDS member and supporter yet she can't attend the temple because of her smoking habit. She's resigned herself to the fact that she may never become 'worthy' in this life. I find that incredibly sad.

[Moksha]

I agree with Dan that more people should be educated about Mormonism.

Officially, the people don't even have a name to call them, except to associate them with admittedly Satanic terms like Mormon and LDS.

Wonder if the name Anti-Homoites would appeal to the Brethren? Surely that name would not lend itself to the Church's woes.

[sock puppet]

The Church continues to be secretive, patriarchal, cultish and still struggles with racism and homophobia. Lately, it seems like it has been one PR disaster after another (Prop 8, secretly stockpiling a 150 billion dollar fund, silencing sexual abuse victims, class action lawsuits, cover-ups and most of all BYU losing to Liberty University in football).

The internet allows investigators and members alike to examine the rotting meat before consuming the so-called 'milk.'

[malkie]

Here are some comments and questions I've heard from fellow non-LDS (pertaining to the temple only) that help explain the negative image:

"Why is their church closed to the public?" (coming from the considerable number who think the LDS Temple is the one and only meeting place)

"Why do they tear families apart?" (coming from those who have experienced or heard about the exclusion of family members from LDS temple weddings)

"What goes on in that fancy building?" (coming from those who equate the grand temple structures with strange practices - probably because that's what we typically do with the unknown and forbidden)

"Why don't they worship on Sundays?" (coming from those who've observed the parking lot at the temple is empty on Sundays)

It seems ironic to me that what seems so central, beautiful (and appealing?) to LDS folk is actually a turn-off to non-LDS. It reminds me of the Johari window. If only we knew our blind spots and hidden areas.

When my child got married 15 years ago, I took time off work to travel to the state where the ceremony was taking place. Of course, my colleagues sent congratulations etc.

After I came back to work I was asked about how the wedding went, how the "church" was decorated, what the bride wore, what the ceremony was like, etc. My colleagues were flabbergasted to learn that I was not at the ceremony, and so had little to report. They were absolutely astounded when I told them why: basically, I'm not considered worthy to be inside the building where the wedding took place because I'm an unbeliever who drinks coffee and doesn't give 10% of my income to the church, and so I waited outside.

[I'm blushing a little, thinking about what one lady said about me with respect to being considered "unworthy" - to the effect of how could that possibly be said about such a nice kind guy as malkie, and speculating on what those judging me must have stuck up certain parts of their anatomy. OK, I exaggerated that last detail, but it is generally representative of things that were said.]

I had simply told the truth, and although I was still hurt from the experience, I tried not to have my colleagues think badly of the rest of my family who were in the temple for the ceremony.

Suffice it to say that the image of the Mormon church took a bit of a knock that day.