30-40% of ALL LDS Mormon Missionaries Masturbate? (link)

[_marg]

Am I the only one who never masturbated while on his mission?

Perhpas your sex drive is lower than average.

[_KimberlyAnn]

I find it disturbing that there is a supposed "church average" statistic on masturbation! Good grief, who's business is it anyway? It's appalling that anyone is asked such personal questions and it's sad that young men and women feel compelled to answer. What kind of church questions congregants about such matters? It's nothing less than creepy.

KA

[_Coach T]

I see a HUGE amount of mental masturbation going on in these forums. Does that count, Kimberly?

[_Boaz & Lidia]

I see a HUGE amount of mental masturbation going on in these forums. Does that count, Kimberly?

Really? Does your molly Mormon wife know that you secretly look at porn and wack off?

[_Chap]

I see a HUGE amount of mental masturbation going on in these forums. Does that count, Kimberly?

More fruits of the Spirit here.

To what rank in the Restored Priesthood have you been ordained? I suppose that somewhere in the Church Handbook of Instructions there is some kind of hierarchy of powers laid down. My observations of the kinds of sexually tinged abuse used by the more fluent LDS posters on this board suggest that it may work something like this:

Aaronic: May accuse non-LDS critics of failing to shower regularly and living in trailers.

Melchizedek: May accuse non-LDS critics of masturbation.

High Priest: May accuse non-LDS critics of sodomy.

Bishop: May accuse non-LDS critics of any of the above, but in Italian.


Truly, my house is a house of order, saith the Lord.

[_degaston]

I suspect closer to 90% masturbated on their missions.

I certainly hope that I don't come across here as being a self-righteous prick in this thread. But I honestly never masturbated on my mission. I guess I wanted to get to the Celestial Kingdom so badly that I eschewed any thoughts of doing anything that I felt might jeopardize that reward.

[_Sethbag]

I suspect closer to 90% masturbated on their missions.

I certainly hope that I don't come across here as being a self-righteous prick in this thread. But I honestly never masturbated on my mission. I guess I wanted to get to the Celestial Kingdom so badly that I eschewed any thoughts of doing anything that I felt might jeopardize that reward.

So, did you baptize people in droves? Or do we have to probe deeper and find some other hidden sin - of comission or omission, of course - that caused you to fail to obligate the Lord to get the people in your mission all fired up to join the Mormon church?

[_ajax18]

Am I the only one who never masturbated while on his mission?

No you're not. I know you're probably as disappointed as I am to find that we now have two things in common, since we seem to be the antithesis of each other. Actually I think a lot more LDS youth remain completely celibate than one looking in from the outside would think.

I can't really say that not masturbating is the healthy and happy way to go though. I rank it up there with chronic backpain or constant hunger.

[_ajax18]

I suspect closer to 90% masturbated on their missions.

I certainly hope that I don't come across here as being a self-righteous prick in this thread. But I honestly never masturbated on my mission. I guess I wanted to get to the Celestial Kingdom so badly that I eschewed any thoughts of doing anything that I felt might jeopardize that reward.

So, did you baptize people in droves? Or do we have to probe deeper and find some other hidden sin - of comission or omission, of course - that caused you to fail to obligate the Lord to get the people in your mission all fired up to join the Mormon church?

In my case they usually concluded that it was because I hadn't sacrificed enough or suffered enough pain. Sometimes they pressured fasting weekly in one hundred degree heat. Come to think of it, that was really painful too. Other times they got themselves in a pickle because they demanded we not go home until we'd found a golden family, but at the same time we were required to be home by 9:30 p.m. I guess they respected my parents enough to try to keep me from dying down there, even if they didn't respect me.

[_ajax18]

Am I the only one who never masturbated while on his mission?

Perhpas your sex drive is lower than average.

Yeah, but when you go without for a a few days your temperature hits a perpetual boiling point anyway. I had companions who prayed for wet dreams. Those offered a day of maybe 90 degree weather, but after that it was back up to 100 for at least 6 weeks. And yes, you do suffer guilt in those dreams. I must have been excommunicated 7 times in my sleep already before waking up.