Are the General Authorities trying to kill us?

[_ludwigm]

Kevin Graham's favorite terms, those being stupid, dumb, and idiot, are, without the slightest doubt, absolutely apropos in defining this OP. Buffalo has accredited himself here many times as a perverse intellectual curiosity, so grossly uneducated and intellectually simpleminded as to stun the mind into a near catatonic stupor upon fully grasping the content and implications of much of what he posts, but his cerebral cortex has clearly flatlined this time.
... no need of more quote

This is why I am here.
At the beginning of my wandering around Mormonism I have thought I can be a cultural member. Because of my wife.

After six years of investigation I've chosen not to join.

I won. Droopy (and more...) persuaded me (and are persuading me on a day-by-day base) I was right.

[_Darth J]

Nothing, not tobacco, alcohol, or heroin, is in any sense as debilitating as apostasy and anti-Mormonism, which is a kind of lycanthropy of the soul that turns otherwise normal, positive human beings and turns them into mad, Barking Moonbats.

You are truly blessed to have underwear with magical Masonic symbols to protect you from evil. That must be what is protecting you from the crazy.

And you also have the guidance of the inspired words of Hebrew prophets who were Christians but lived the Law of Moses in their vast pre-Columbian civilization that mysteriously evaporated after the genocide arising from that age-old conflict when God cursed the infidels among them and turned them into Indians.

But, hey: if you ever do get a dose of the moonbat thing, maybe a portly middle-aged man from your bishopric can rub magic cooking oil on your head and heal you.

'Cause, you know, it's people who stop believing in things like this who are crazy.

[_Fiannan]

Okay, the OP lists the following activities as health-promoting:

A) Drinking coffee

B) Drinking Tea

C) Drinking wine

D) Masturbation

Okay, let's examine these from purly a healthly lifestyle point of view.

A) Drinking coffee. If done in moderation then probably not all that dangerous. Caffeine in and of itself is not bad for you unless you get addicted to it. Most benefits associated with coffee center on caffeine as well.

B) Drinking tea: Green tea is one of those "Ify" areas with Mormons. Some use it without any fear of violating the WofW and some don't. Green tea is loaded with anti-oxidants and speeds up the metabolism. So unless one is sensitive due to gall bladder problems then it is good for you. Black tea I am not sure about. Is it looked down upon because fermentation is involved? Again, moderate use of any tea is not dangerous.

C) Drinking wine. There is an anti-oxidant that is contained in wine that may help promote healthier hearts. However, that is also found in grape juice. Again, in low doses it does promote health, but at the same time it greatly expands to chance of breast cancer in women. So in very low mideration red wine can make men a little healthier (or they can drink grape juice or take vitamines) but for women the risks far, far outweigh any advantages to drinking alcohol.

D) Masturbation. Not sure what Pee Wee Herman would say about this. However, the OP is correct that it promotes health -- as does the sex act in general. Can it lead to substituting masturbation for the real thing? perhaps, and then that would be negative. It is healthy for both sexes. In fact, up until the 19th Century doctors would treat women suffering from depression or hysteria by administering massage to the clitoral area (foreplay). Bet the ratings for that old show Dr. Quinn would have skyrocketed if that had been depicted a few times in some episodes (evil laugh). Due to doctors getting what could be likened to tennis elbow the electronic vibrator was invented.

Now all that said there are spiritual considerations to consider. Looking at porn and masturbating can lead to less desire to actually strive to commit to a relationship with some men and with some women. Maybe there is a sense (ritual) of separating from the general population in not drinking tea or coffee which cements a bond with those of shared values and beliefs. Maybe so many people have a weakness towards alcohol that moderation is impossible for them. These considerations also have to be taken into account when explaining why these practices may be shunned by the LDS religion.

[_Drifting]

Take the needle out of your arm and sober up.

Droopy, should you really be opening up this particular door?

[_Buffalo]

Kevin Graham's favorite terms, those being stupid, dumb, and idiot, are, without the slightest doubt, absolutely apropos in defining this OP. *snip*

I'm sure you meant this as a scathing rebuke, but your language is so over the top that it just comes off as comical. Thanks for the laugh.

Sorry Droops. As usual, science is on my side, and all you've got is superstition.

[_Buffalo]

Nothing, not tobacco, alcohol, or heroin, is in any sense as debilitating as apostasy and anti-Mormonism, which is a kind of lycanthropy of the soul that turns otherwise normal, positive human beings and turns them into mad, Barking Moonbats.

You are truly blessed to have underwear with magical Masonic symbols to protect you from evil. That must be what is protecting you from the crazy.

And you also have the guidance of the inspired words of Hebrew prophets who were Christians but lived the Law of Moses in their vast pre-Columbian civilization that mysteriously evaporated after the genocide arising from that age-old conflict when God cursed the infidels among them and turned them into Indians.

But, hey: if you ever do get a dose of the moonbat thing, maybe a portly middle-aged man from your bishopric can rub magic cooking oil on your head and heal you.

'Cause, you know, it's people who stop believing in things like this who are crazy.

That's going to leave a mark!

[_Some Schmo]

Take the needle out of your arm and sober up.

Droopy, should you really be opening up this particular door?

Exactly what I was thinking.

I'd feel sorry for droops, except that I think he may be too stupid (and drunk) to really suffer what normal humans consider pain.

*shrug*