With all due respect to Dehlin, what is the point in staying

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[_Blixa]

cwald welcome to the board.

Lots of people have "why me" on ignore I don't because I like to see his stupidity in action. He never fails me. Plus if you ever have any questions about porn "why me" is an expert. He can read minds and knows what people believe and think and can divine things no one else can. He is truly amazing. He has tons of advice for everyone but can't live it for himself. I can go on and on but I think you already know the real "why me" from the other board.

Glad to have you here.

Hi, cwald. I was just going to tell you about the ignore feature, but Tator beat me to it.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I think it is very loving of you not to want to disturb her peace of mind when she is ill and it shows you are a caring son.

As others have said, there are no clear answers to your situation, you have to feel it out as best you can. Whatever you decide to do and when, though, it's completely up to you. You can define your relation to Mormonism and/or god in many different directions. And whatever decision you make needn't be the final one; people change and develop quite a bit over their lifetimes. My advice is to take things slowly, talk to people who are or have been in similar situations and avoid those who in their arrogance want to poke, pry and shame you.

I don't read MDD all that much so I'm not familiar with your experiences there. There are people here, though, who have been through experiences similar to yours so you can probably find some posters who may be very helpful to you (both on board and via pm). I'm not, and have not been, in similar circumstances and I don't particularly care if people stay in the church or leave it: I'm not cheerleading for either "side." But I'm happy to help point you in the direction of posters who you might have things in common with or to share my perspective on the history of Mormonism.

Good luck to you!

[_DarkHelmet]

Yeah because it is so difficult to type a person's name into a computer Why me ... seriously?

What would be really nice is if they invented a device for entering and storing data. I know it sounds like science fiction, but if such a device existed, it would solve the mind boggling problem where a person has their name removed because of inactivty and then decides to come back to church.

[_cwald]

Thanks to all of you for your kind words.

I had a very good laugh this morning reading through the responses. Thanks.

As to the OP...I agree with most of it, and I expect many folks in John Dehlin's camp do as well. What I don't agree with though, is I'm still "stubborning" holding out some hope in the gods...I'm basically a deist.

Poygamy-Porter wrote: ...I stopped looking for a christian church to attend after I realized I did not believe in christian theology or the divine existence of Jesus Christ....All of my children and myself are atheists, albeit apathetic atheists,

Where do Mormons deists who have lost faith in the "instution," the "corporation", yet have so many family members invested in the church, go? I have no interest in the "church," or any church for that matter, but I do have an interest in finding the gods and peace, in this life, and perhaps the next?

[_MrStakhanovite]

Hi Cwald,

I’m sorry to hear about your situation, but good job on keeping up appearances for your mother, it goes to show how unselfish you are.

The church isn’t easy to leave, and it is that way by design. Thankfully the mainstream church doesn’t practice shunning, but the social costs can be pretty high. People in your position don’t get much support from the ecclesiastical chain of command, it would be a rare find indeed if you had a bishop who understood your situation.

The MD&D board doesn’t want to hear your noise either, because in their minds, they are locked in a life or death struggle with a secretive apostate army who have infiltrated the highest echelons of the church in an effort to bring it down in the name of Satan. Not that anyone in your position would ever be welcomed there, but the tension is even worse now that the idol Dan Peterson has fallen into perceived disgrace.

I’d like to ask what your opinions on revealed religion and God are. While I’m an atheist and think it is the best position, a lot of people who leave the church tend to skip any serious study of other faith traditions and become the worse for it. Do you have any interested in topics like philosophy, biblical studies, or Mormon history?

[_Stormy Waters]

Where do Mormons deists who have lost faith in the "instution," the "corporation", yet have so many family members invested in the church, go? I have no interest in the "church," or any church for that matter, but I do have an interest in finding the gods and peace, in this life, and perhaps the next?

I don't have any answers for you, but I hope you are able to find what you're looking for.

[_Aristotle Smith]

Cwald,

If you do decide to keep showing up at church, my experience with doing that is that most members don't want a confrontation and quite frankly don't care that you don't believe. If you are there, they will probably think you do, but it's more by default. I show up with my wife and kids for sacrament meeting each week, and sometimes stay for longer. I hold no calling, pay no tithing, do not take the sacrament, perform no ordinances, etc. I'm pretty happy that I'm not being a hypocrite about this, and people genuinely don't care. This is one instance where church "friends" not being real friends works to your advantage.

As for where to go from here, my suggestion would be to focus on what you do believe in and not focus on what you don't. This has been very positive for me. I'm now an orthodox Christian of the Methodist persuasion, and focusing on that has helped me a great deal overcome the negativity associated with getting my faith obliterated.

If you are a Deist, you might give Christianity a look. This is mainly because Christianity is very different than Mormonism. I don't really want to get into the whole "Are Mormons Christians?" question, but suffice it to say I find that I think about things very differently as a Christian than I did as a Mormon.

Whatever you decide on that, I would second MrStak's suggestion to look into other faith traditions. Although we come down on opposite sides of the belief spectrum, we both see value in studying religion, no matter where you end up having done so.

[_Ceeboo]

Hey all

From my never-Mo eyes, a very interesting and informative thread. Thanks to many who have shared.
It is contributions (like some of the posts found in this thread) that convince me that to fully understand and grasp all of this, you must be, or have once been, living as a Mormon. I am almost certain that I will never REALLY "get it".

Anyway, interesting read, in my opinion.




Hey Stack

While I’m an atheist and think it is the best position

If you would be willing, what do you mean by this? (I am not looking to debate your opinion/suggestion, I honestly am just looking for a bit of elaboration. Promise)

Peace,
Ceeboo

[_cwald]

Hi Cwald,

I’m sorry to hear about your situation, but good job on keeping up appearances for your mother, it goes to show how unselfish you are.

The church isn’t easy to leave, and it is that way by design. Thankfully the mainstream church doesn’t practice shunning, but the social costs can be pretty high. People in your position don’t get much support from the ecclesiastical chain of command, it would be a rare find indeed if you had a bishop who understood your situation.

The MD&D board doesn’t want to hear your noise either, because in their minds, they are locked in a life or death struggle with a secretive apostate army who have infiltrated the highest echelons of the church in an effort to bring it down in the name of Satan. Not that anyone in your position would ever be welcomed there, but the tension is even worse now that the idol Dan Peterson has fallen into perceived disgrace.

I’d like to ask what your opinions on revealed religion and God are. While I’m an atheist and think it is the best position, a lot of people who leave the church tend to skip any serious study of other faith traditions and become the worse for it. Do you have any interested in topics like philosophy, biblical studies, or Mormon history?

Thank you, I appreciate it.

For the record --- I am a regular at stayLDS and NOM...pretty well been keeping tabs on John Dehlins work for the last four years, so I'm not entirely ignorant of what is happening today, and the history of the LDS church. I don't care so much about all the warts from Mormon history. If the church would just admit they were wrong, admit they made the mistakes...and move on....I think they would be much better off. The perceived "cover-up" is much worse than the crime, in my opinion.

I am much more concerned about the current state of the church, which has some serious problems and issues, that no one in the top echelons are willing to address and fix.

I do delve into philosophy...especially like the view from the Buddhist angle.

I pretty well disdain organized religion...it's history, and what it has to offer at this time. But if some people need it to be decent human beings because they believe they will go to hell if they ransack my house and rape my wife...then I am all for it.

I do believe in "prophets"...Martin Luther, MLK, 14th Dalia Lama, Tolkien, etc etc...perhaps Smith...perhaps even Urchdorf? I don't' know. I figure that I can get just as much "revelation" as the next the guy...just never really understood the LDS idea that I have to go through their priesthood to get to god. Doesn't make sense to me.

Thanks you for asking.