You claim that "the intent is to stop the cycle," but why do you think that the exmo ceasing to view the Church as lying is the only way to accomplish this? Couldn't we equally say that TBMs and the Church admitting that dishonesty has occurred would also break the cycle? Surely there are more ways to stop the cycle than the one you've proposed.
Good point, Scratch.
I think that the best thing to do, absent either the church's asking forgiveness or the exmormon believing it was all a misunderstanding, is just to forgive one another.
I think if you ask, most exmos have forgiven the church. I have.
Runtu wrote:I think that the best thing to do, absent either the church's asking forgiveness or the exmormon believing it was all a misunderstanding, is just to forgive one another.
Part of the challenge -- at least for me -- is feeling that I am being told "nothing happened" or "you're making too much of this".
Disregard for my feelings reinforces my opinion that they are being dishonest with me. Placing the blame on the individual instead of recognizing there might be more to it than that, makes it very hard to let it go.
Of course, I know that I won't change them ... so the work is definitely all mine in getting over this. That's for sure.
"Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder" --Homer Simpson's version of Pascal's Wager
Religion began when the first scoundrel met the first fool.
Religion is ignorance reduced to a system.
MormonMendacity wrote:Part of the challenge -- at least for me -- is feeling that I am being told "nothing happened" or "you're making too much of this".
Disregard for my feelings reinforces my opinion that they are being dishonest with me. Placing the blame on the individual instead of recognizing there might be more to it than that, makes it very hard to let it go.
Of course, I know that I won't change them ... so the work is definitely all mine in getting over this. That's for sure.
Yep, I agree. A major milestone for me was realizing that my wife was not interested in discussing anything about this. So, I dropped it and chose to respect her beliefs.