Samantabhadra wrote:Darth I hope to God I never have to face you in a courtroom.
If you ever do, just create a sock puppet and come on this board the night before the trial and start a new topic containing these three things:
1- Some very novel (or crazy depending on your point of view) interpretation of Mormon doctrine. It is critically important that you also claim that your view is actually very rational and broadly accepted, but do NOT give any evidence for this other than your own personal conversations with God.
2- A very radical and uninformed interpretation of the constitution (maybe claim that a strict laissez faire philosophy is implicit in the 14th amendment such that all state labor laws are invalid. . . nah, scratch that since the Supreme Court was actually crazy enough to hold that once, but I digress). It is important that you claim to know more about the constitution than anyone on this board (or even Larry Tribe) due to your vast knowledge gleaned from your readings of the Federalist Papers, the Weekly Standard, and Salma Hayek (cough . . . sorry, I meant Friedrich Hayek).
3- Claim that you are a master of the martial arts and claim that all the martial arts stem from a mountain in Tibet where Raiden revealed all of its secrets to his first subjects Scorpion and Sub-Zero.
If you do all that, either Darth's head will explode or he will spend all night furiously typing out a well-researched response such that he will show up for the trial unprepared and exhausted. Problem solved
