ajax18 wrote:I've had the gospel. I was never so miserable.
I was once miserable in the gospel too. Perhaps you got the wrong opinion from someone. I guarantee you if you were miserable you misunderstood Christ's gospel or just simply allowed Satan to lie to you, as I once did.
It's not about the gospel, per se. It's about church culture, which is anti-me. I'm not comfortable around people talking about spirits and ghosts and the afterlife as though those are real things. In fact, if people like to talk about that kind of stuff, I generally find myself repelled by them, by that kind of personality. When I find myself in a situation where people are talking "mystically," I want to look at everyone and say, "You're just joking around, right? You people aren't serious." Sometimes I do.
There's no making the gospel make sense, ajax. Nobody has an opinion of it that works for me. I've heard it all. Nobody has anything groundbreaking and original. It's all the same old tired crap. It all sounds like it was created out of wishful thinking.
ajax18 wrote:I think you have integrity Schmo. You're straight up honest about how you feel. In the spirit world we'll all be this way because it's impossible not to be able to know each others thoughts. But the spirit world is also a very self segregated place. As miserable as it is being around evil people, it's even more miserable being around the righteous when you're in a misguided and fallen state. It's a shame your father isn't around to tell you this. I hope you'll listen to him when you see him again on the other side.
Heh. That would be something.
ajax18 wrote:I wouldn't go back to church even if I had iron clad proof it was true.
This is why you don't believe. It's not because belief is irrational. Whatever your belief was made you miserable and who would want to believe such a thing?
No. I don't believe because I've never encountered a reason to believe. All I've seen are reasons not to believe.
I'd like to believe that I can bench-press 400 pounds. However, the evidence is against me, so I can't actually believe it. It would be nice, comforting even, but it's not true so I can't hold the idea seriously in my head.
And I will say that one of the happiest times in my life was when I quit church and released that mental paradigm. It felt like what I imagine the relief is for someone finally getting a body cast removed after 6 months.
I'm free!
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.