charity wrote: I have had long talks with my inactive children and grandchildren on their feelings. They are open with me. They know my love for them is not dependent on activity in the Church.
And faithful parents have been promised that their actions can help their wayward children.
If the parents remain faithful, the child will return eventually.
......
What inconsistency?
The inconsistency of these statements. This is a guilt trip, on both you and them, but you can't even see it.
Nice put down. But you are right about accountabliity. We will all be held accountable for what we think and do.
Not meant to be a "put-down". It just seemed to me You were taking a lot of flak. Deserved or not was irrelevant. I just don't like seeing anybody taking the boots. You are absolutely correct, "...we are ALL accountable for what we DO..."
What we "think" however, is simply an intellectual exercise, and without accountability. (Until it leads to action--positive or negative.) Thought your professional back ground would have made that clear?? Or, was "thought-guilt" a desirable condition in your training days? Wonders Roger
Runtu wrote: Is it somehow dishonest to avoid subjects that cause pain for both of us?
Not at all. Except if discussing it would be like surgery, and end up it a kind of healing. Sometimes we have to go t hrough pain to heal. I am not saying this is the case here, though.
My father and I had a conversation that lasted perhaps 6 hours the last time he visited our home in Texas. I aired out all my concerns in detail, and his response was consistently, "You know the church is right, and you just need to stick with the program. Everything will work out." I'm not sure what else I would accomplish in bringing it up again. He knows where I stand and why. And I know where he stands and why.
A believing member's response is usually like that. Even Charity made a comment a few days ago that she believes if parents are worthy, their apostate child(ren) will eventually come back. I think it's an attitude that protects them emotionally...keeps them safe. A person that has been "touched by the spirit" could not actually lose his testimony -- without behaviors that cause the spirit to leave, which lead the person to apostasy. With this attitude, one doesn't have to truly evaluate his/her own belief system...it places the "apostate" in an untrustable position -- which keeps the member safe.
The first few years after I left the church, I had frequent religious discussions with my (tbm) mother. Looking back, I see that I was just wanting to be accepted by her as being okay -- as she certainly did not believe I was. I wasn't trying to deconvert her, but she probably saw it as that. Now we leave religion alone, and I think by my "example" of having a responsible, healthy lifestyle, she is gradually coming to accept me as I am. Certainly a challenge for both of us, but we''re making progress.