I'm gonna grab you to be one of my plural wives in the CK

[_Amaterasu]

In the immortal (wise words) or Blixa: the clit is not a panic button.

[_Yoda]

A vibrating toy for... him? Somehow that just seems... backwards.

The vibrating toy can be for you. Just show him how to use it on you.

[_Yoda]

I'm almost 5-freakin-7 years old

So what? Yer not dead, harm. It's kind of like shopping. You can't buy the stuff if you don't get in the car and go for the ride.

AMEN!

And, sometimes getting there is half the fun!

[_harmony]

Do you think I haven't tried? When have you ever known me to just sit quietly and endure? But at some point, I expect my partner to remember what works, instead of the constant "what do you want?" Hell's bells! After 10,000 opportunities and teaching moments, don't you think he'd know what I want by now? And don't you think he'd do it? But no... after nearly 38 years, he still does the same ol' thing that doesn't work, after asking me "what do you want?"

For the past several years, he's had a problem with control. Of course he blames it on me... I've asked him to speak to the doc about it, but he conveniently forgets it when he's there for his quarterly visits. I mean, I'm not averse to a little blue pill!

I need a lover, one who really knows what he's doing. I wonder if I could find one in a blue light special in the Valentine section? I'm telling ya, I can't endure this for eternity. I'll do whatever I have to do to avoid enduring this.

And another thing: this is the man who gets upset because I refuse to wear my g's at night. It's taken me years to finally figure out what works as far as my body temperature goes. Wouldn't you think he'd be glad to have a naked woman in bed with him? But no, he fusses about it. I'd like to buy some pretty lingerie to sleep in, but I know he'd just fuss when I didn't wear g's under it.

[_marg]

Wouldn't you think he'd be glad to have a naked woman in bed with him? But no, he fusses about it. I'd like to buy some pretty lingerie to sleep in, but I know he'd just fuss when I didn't wear g's under it.

Put your foot down. So what he fusses, he'll eventually stop. At least it sounds as if he has a good sex drive. My hub has had a low sex drive from day one, and no matter how much you teach, if the drive isn't there not much you can do about it. But at least I never concerned myself with him fooling around and he had plenty of opportunities with the job he had. I'd say for years on average he was away 1 to 2 weeks many months of the year.

[_harmony]

Wouldn't you think he'd be glad to have a naked woman in bed with him? But no, he fusses about it. I'd like to buy some pretty lingerie to sleep in, but I know he'd just fuss when I didn't wear g's under it.

Put your foot down. So what he fusses, he'll eventually stop.

Uh, not about g's, he won't.

At least it sounds as if he has a good sex drive. My hub has had a low sex drive from day one, and no matter how much you teach, if the drive isn't there not much you can do about it. But at least I never concerned myself with him fooling around and he had plenty of opportunities with the job he had. I'd say for years on average he was away 1 to 2 weeks many months of the year.

My sis has the same problem as you. They've tried everything, including shots (OUCH!). No change. But even then, if he was any kind of lover, he'd figure out how to make it good for her, and he doesn't.
And they aren't even Mormon!

[_Chap]

This is going to be TMI but this topic really doesn't embarass me so what the heck. (must have been all those human biology classes in college)

Even if the man didn't know anything about the clitoris, the very act of sexual intercourse in missionary position rubs against it, causing stimulation and orgasm. (I'm speaking from personal experience) So, I'm really puzzled how a woman can never experience pleasure if her husband isn't aware of where it is. Sure it's helpful in achieving climax faster but direct stimulation is not the only way. After the first orgasm, the others come very easily.

This may be your own experience; but please do not insist that this should work for all women (though I don't deny it works for some). It doesn't.

There is also a vaginal orgasm that is much more pleasurable than the other. (G-spot)

So some people find. Not all.

There is a huge variety of sexual response in women, and what arouses some has little effect on others. What some need in order to experience pleasure, some do not need or even want. And that is just speaking of physical aspects. If one over-generalizes and inexperienced people assume you are right, it can cause a lot of confusion and disappointment.

[_Jersey Girl]

I'm gonna re-arrange your post to reply to it, harm.

Do you think I haven't tried? When have you ever known me to just sit quietly and endure? But at some point, I expect my partner to remember what works, instead of the constant "what do you want?" Hell's bells! After 10,000 opportunities and teaching moments, don't you think he'd know what I want by now? And don't you think he'd do it? But no... after nearly 38 years, he still does the same ol' thing that doesn't work, after asking me "what do you want?"

I need a lover, one who really knows what he's doing. I wonder if I could find one in a blue light special in the Valentine section? I'm telling ya, I can't endure this for eternity. I'll do whatever I have to do to avoid enduring this.

But he IS a lover who knows what he's doing. He asks you what you want. Maybe you should say, "what you're doing right now, that's what I don't want you to do" and reorient him ;-). You got a good man there, harm.

For the past several years, he's had a problem with control. Of course he blames it on me... I've asked him to speak to the doc about it, but he conveniently forgets it when he's there for his quarterly visits. I mean, I'm not averse to a little blue pill!

Go with him next time.

And another thing: this is the man who gets upset because I refuse to wear my g's at night. It's taken me years to finally figure out what works as far as my body temperature goes. Wouldn't you think he'd be glad to have a naked woman in bed with him? But no, he fusses about it. I'd like to buy some pretty lingerie to sleep in, but I know he'd just fuss when I didn't wear g's under it.

Hmm...then go get something pretty that isn't considered "lingerie" and work your way up to actual lingerie. There are tons of pretty nightshirts for example. How about wearing your g's but just the tops? Tell him you've suddenly reached a point of compromise.

Uh huh.

[_truth dancer]

OK, now that we have our MD support group firmly established..

Harmony...

I'm thinking some fabulous lingerie is definitely a must, like today. (Opps, it's Sunday, OK, tomorrow). If hubby is not a fan, do it for yourself! :-) If he doesn't like it, (hmmm), how about a compromise say, every other night, or once a week? Or half the night? Or not at night? (smile)

And, how open in your DH to some fun and games? Can lovemaking be something other than a bedtime routine? Maybe there is a rut that needs getting out of? (Like garments 24/7? I think garments do more to thwart the sexual lives of a couple than about anything I can think of).

Oh, one more thing, an eternal, absolute, ultimate, never-to-be-broken-EVER, truth of the universe is, NO GARMENTS UNDER LINGERIE!

We're here for you! (smile)

~td~

[_Jersey Girl]

Listen to your Jersey Sister, harm.

Do what TD suggested about the lingerie. Then, the next time he asks you what you want...disappear for a few minutes, come back in your beautiful new stuff and say "this is what I want".

See how easy that is?