Meet the Mopologists

[_Jersey Girl]

CFR on the convincing Jersey Girl that Kerry Shirts was responsible for the Mr. Itchy debacle.

I said trying to convince.

Your statement above is wholly inaccurate. Why isn't it important to you to be accurate?

What do you have to back that claim?

All the PMs you sent me. For example, remember "DD" supposedly being an acronym of "Damn Dumb?"

NONE of the PM's I sent you had anything WHATSOEVER to do with Kerry being responsible for the "Itchy debacle".

NONE.

Why isn't it important to you to be accurate when making such an allegation?

And yes, of course, I remember the PM's that I sent you.

Why don't you?

Seriously, if you're going to cavalierly blather false crap on this board where I can see it and with my name on it, I'm going to correct you and I won't mince words.

[_Dr. Shades]

Forgive me. I could've sworn that you'd made posts and exchanged PMs on ZLMB with one or more of the Itchy culprits wherein they dropped (false) hints that he/she/they were, in reality, Kerry Shirts.

I could've sworn that you sent me PMs relating the same.

BUT, if I'm up in the night, if my memory is completely flawed, or if I'm otherwise insane, then I hereby apologize for my comments and otherwise defer to your better memory.

[_Ray A]

I like the smell of new books and coffee mingled together. Yum.

C.S.Lewis reveals the secret of his inspiration. (Jamaican made Marley Bong)

[_Trevor]

C.S.Lewis reveals the secret of his inspiration. (Jamaican made Marley Bong)

I knew he was a brilliant man, but I had no idea he was that brilliant.

[_Trevor]

I would like to thank Mr. Scratch personally for the painstaking detective work that he put into finding these youtube videos and thank his anonymous informant. Good thing this informant chooses to remain anonymous. I would hate to see the blowback if his or her identity were revealed to Kerry Shirts. He would undoubtedly be enraged to the point of going Danite on this person's ass for revealing these candid videos.

The reviews brought back the good old days of Siskel and Ebert for me. How I miss them. Wise choice to go with stars instead of thumbs though. I would hate to see Scratch wind up in court over the use of thumbs in his reviews. So much talent would go to waste in a moment's indiscretion. I completely agree that Shirts' attempt at a "Blair Witch" feel, while appropriate in its creepiness, somehow failed to live up to its promise this time. Note to Kerry: it's all about the lighting, guy.

Then again, Shirts may have been merely alluding to the Blair Witch Project, while trying to snow us with the seeming, utter banality of the conference. I mean, don't you think he is simply taunting the critics of Mormonism, not just in his usual frenetic, yet milquetoast, avuncular fashion, which is explicit, but in trying to pass all of this off as normal? Sure, he would like to make us think that this is simply a collection of geeks with honorable intentions and a slight superhero complex, but I think we need to look deeper... past this vanilla facade to the profoundly disturbing, smooth-tasting, yet sinister nougat center.

So, my recommendation to Scratch: please re-watch (repeatedly) the entire Shirts video one frame at a time--this time looking closely at the hand motions of the people, the order in which words appear on book covers (any nasty acrostics?), the oddly-placed, suspicious pixels, and please listen to that soundtrack backwards many, many times. Only by doing this will you get to the bottom of what surely must have been the single most diabolical meeting of the year. Bohemian Grove? The Trilateral Commission? The Illuminati? Amateurs next to this konklave of kaos and pure evil. And if you should fail to find anything damning? You're not looking hard enough.

Start yet again by watching The Ninth Gate and The Da Vinci Code to get some pointers. Oh, and maybe you should read a few LaRouche pamphlets to boot.

[_Ray A]

Kerry always reminds me of Robin Williams.

[_Jersey Girl]

Forgive me. I could've sworn that you'd made posts and exchanged PMs on ZLMB with one or more of the Itchy culprits wherein they dropped (false) hints that he/she/they were, in reality, Kerry Shirts.

I could've sworn that you sent me PMs relating the same.

BUT, if I'm up in the night, if my memory is completely flawed, or if I'm otherwise insane, then I hereby apologize for my comments and otherwise defer to your better memory.

I've NEVER implied via PM's or on this board (your board) that Kerry had anything whatsoever to do with the Itchy Blog.

If you can't get it right, why do you post it?

Here's what you stated:

Hey Mister Scratch,

Remember in video #1 when Kerry greeted and put his arm around Juliann? Do you think he'd have been so enthusiastic if he'd remembered how she threw him under the bus trying to convince Jersey Girl that he, not her, was the one responsible for the Mr. Itchy debacle?

What makes you think that Kerry doesn't remember those events? What proof do YOU have that Juliann threw Kerry under the bus or tried to convince Jersey Girl that he, not her was the one responsible for the Mr. Itchy debacle?

None.

The only truth is that neither you nor Scratch has any substantial proof of anything other than the fact that someone played a big fat joke on both of you.

Why would Kerry care about a joke?

Here, you've got Scratch on a weekly basis, posting lead based innuendo regarding Daniel and others, and you choose to bring up a series of events that "hit home" for you...

and you can't get it right.

If it's worth mentioning, I should think it's worth getting right.

As for this specific statement you made:

I could've sworn that you'd made posts and exchanged PMs on ZLMB with one or more of the Itchy culprits wherein they dropped (false) hints that he/she/they were, in reality, Kerry Shirts.

You're outrageously wrong. I sent you PM's regarding my (erroneous) theory that Kerry was one or more of the Ztrolls. The only connection made between Kerry as Ztrolls and Itchy was the patched together "story" YOU invented yourself.

In closing, I've already publicly admitted that my original theory was in error. I've already stated that I thought I knew who the Z trolls were but that I would never identify them publicly.

You, on the other hand, casually throw out statements about people as if they were fact when that is not the case.

And I don't need to rely soley on my memory. I rely on documentation.

[_Jersey Girl]

Because of this, I am going to rate this film 2 stars (out of four). If director Shirts can maintain this caliber of filmmaking and acting, then his career---which already totals well over 400 videos on YouTube---should take off.

You know you're so right. I took a look and Kerry has something in the neighborhood of 460+ video's posted on a variety of topics and the only video's you seem to be intellectually interested in are those that contain images of and statements by people you obviously don't know so you can mock them like a catty middleschool girl.

Not very nice.

[_Dr. Shades]

I sent you PM's regarding my (erroneous) theory that Kerry was one or more of the Ztrolls.

Okay, so I was right after all. Simply subsitute "Z Trolls" with "Mr. Itchy" and it all fits into place beautifully.

Just wondering, but wouldn't you have saved a lot of time by just saying, "Hey Shades, it was the Z Trolls, not Mr. Itchy." ?

[_Jersey Girl]

I sent you PM's regarding my (erroneous) theory that Kerry was one or more of the Ztrolls.

Okay, so I was right after all. Simply subsitute "Z Trolls" with "Mr. Itchy" and it all fits into place beautifully.

Just wondering, but wouldn't you have saved a lot of time by just saying, "Hey Shades, it was the Z Trolls, not Mr. Itchy." ?

It only fits into place if it's accurate. I think I'll just frame this one.