The Book of Zelph

Post by **_Dr. Shades** » Sun Oct 07, 2007 10:09 pm

We've all heard of Hugh Nibley's Book of Mormon challenge. Most of us also know that it has been successfully met by the Book of Zelph.

Has anyone read the Book of Zelph from front-to-back? If so, how many printed pages would it make?

Last but not least, what did you think of it?

Post by **_karl61** » Sun Oct 07, 2007 10:32 pm

I heard that Zelph served as the inspiration for the show "American Gladiators"

Link to over-large graphic

Post by **_Zoidberg** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 12:57 am

I liked it a lot. It's actually available as a printed book; there are 236 pages in it. You can see a quote from it in my sig line.

I know that Josh Anderson is a true prophet and the Book of Zelph is true.

Post by **_Trevor** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 2:09 am

I would be truly ungrateful if I did not stand before you this day and testify of the truthfulness of the Book of Zelph. The Lord takes care of his children, and he has provided Another Testament of the Book of Mormon in the Book of Zelph. Let others concern themselves with "science." The Book of Zelph answers the pressing questions about the Book of Mormon, like, how did Native Americans end up with Asian DNA? I am satisfied with the answers that this sacred record provides.

Post by **_Who Knows** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:01 pm

Trevor wrote:I would be truly ungrateful if I did not stand before you this day and testify of the truthfulness of the Book of Zelph. The Lord takes care of his children, and he has provided Another Testament of the Book of Mormon in the Book of Zelph. Let others concern themselves with "science." The Book of Zelph answers the pressing questions about the Book of Mormon, like, how did Native Americans end up with Asian DNA? I am satisfied with the answers that this sacred record provides.

Lol. Now TBMs know how we feel when we hear their 'testimonies' of the Book of Mormon.

_Belial · Post by **_Belial** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:11 pm

Who Knows wrote:
Trevor wrote:I would be truly ungrateful if I did not stand before you this day and testify of the truthfulness of the Book of Zelph. The Lord takes care of his children, and he has provided Another Testament of the Book of Mormon in the Book of Zelph. Let others concern themselves with "science." The Book of Zelph answers the pressing questions about the Book of Mormon, like, how did Native Americans end up with Asian DNA? I am satisfied with the answers that this sacred record provides.

Lol. Now TBMs know how we feel when we hear their 'testimonies' of the Book of Mormon.

Unspeakably deranged?

Post by **_Dr. Shades** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 4:33 pm

Zoidberg wrote:I liked it a lot. It's actually available as a printed book; there are 236 pages in it. You can see a quote from it in my sig line.

So I guess that means you've read the whole thing.

236 pages? Pretty impressive. I wonder if Hugh Nibley himself had a chance to peruse it while he was still alive.

Post by **_SatanWasSetUp** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 4:51 pm

I think my favorite part is Facsimile 1. Is this included in the page count total?

FACSIMILE 1

A Lamanite birthing scene, depicting the birth of Zelph, the white Lamanite.

EXPLANATION
1. Whitey the deer.
2. Dances with Cureloms preparing for the birth of his son Zelph.
3. A bird.
4. Fister, the wife of Dances with Curelems, preparing for the birth of Zelph.
5. Nephi, the Lamanite Chief, presiding over the birth of Zelph.
6. A cup of water for Fister.
7. ?
8. A container to catch the uterus.
9. Dances with Cureloms’s chariot.
10. The knife used to cut the umbilical cord.

Post by **_Zoidberg** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 6:45 pm

Dr. Shades wrote:
Zoidberg wrote:I liked it a lot. It's actually available as a printed book; there are 236 pages in it. You can see a quote from it in my sig line.

So I guess that means you've read the whole thing.

236 pages? Pretty impressive. I wonder if Hugh Nibley himself had a chance to peruse it while he was still alive.

Well, okay, I've read almost the whole thing, and looked through the parts I haven't read. I haven't rolled the dice yet, either, to be honest with you. But we all know that a testimony is made in the bearing of it, so I thought I'd bear my testimony to y'all.

As for Nibley's challenge, I doubt that it is even successfully met by the Book of Mormon itself. I guess the Book of Zelph fails on a technicality because there are less than 500 pages.

Post by **_The Dude** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 7:13 pm

SatanWasSetUp wrote:8. A container to catch the uterus.

My gift of discernment tells me the proper interpretation is "A container to catch the placenta."