New Mormon Restaurant - "The Stake House"

Post by **_Infymus** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:16 pm

I couldn't pass this up. Credits to Buntaro

Rumor has it that there is an idea floating around out there for a chain of non-pretentious Mormon-themed restaurants called “The Steak Center” (Where There's Never a Dry, Boring Meat-ing!). Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with basketball hoops at either end, folding metal chairs and long tables covered in plastic tablecloths.

The Steak Centers will not have hostesses, but greeters. Men in their seventies will meet you at the door and talk like they have known you all your life, it's great...

The main menu items will be:

Porterhouse Rockwell Steak, Primary Rib and the Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef, garnished with Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes. They will also have, when it's in season, Eliza R. Snow crab.

And let us not forget a wide variety have "And It Came to Pasta", including Kraft MacaMoroni and Cheese. Additionally, they'll have breakfast Items, including Pearls of Great Rice and Frosted Minivans, as well as Adam-ondi-Omelettes. (Bulk powdered milk will be located at the end of the condiment table so you can mix it to your favorite consistency) Also available, "In Our Lovely Desserts", including Fast Sundaes, Gadianton cobbler, carrot shaved Jell-O, fresh potato Chip casserole, and the sinful Laman Meringue Pie.

All meals will be served on Golden Plates…. which must all be collected and buried before you leave.

The waiters will be 12 and 13-year-old boys wearing white shirts and their fathers' ties. At the end of the night the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.

Franchises are selling faster than Sunbeams on Skittles! Get yours while they last!

Post by **_moksha** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:29 pm

That was great!

Post by **_Who Knows** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:47 pm

Is drinking a glass of milk a requirement before ordering the meat?

Post by **_Dr. Shades** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:53 pm

Yes, you must have your milk before meat. Problem is, you never get your meat.

Post by **_CaliforniaKid** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 8:55 pm

very clever!

Post by **_Trinity** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:56 am

Speaking of which, have you ever eaten at Porter's Place in Lehi?