Easter and an Army of Monkies

Post by **_Sethbag** » Sun Mar 23, 2008 8:23 pm

In Hindu mythology, the incarnation of Vishnu known as Lord Rama was engaged in a war with some enemies. Lord Rama had at his disposal a faithful army of monkies. It is believed that Adam's Bridge was built by this army of monkies between Sri Lanka and India.

In fact, the Indian government has wanted to remove some of the limestone shoals and create a shipping passage through this area, and has actually been duking it out with Hindu hardliners who believe that this rock and sand formation, as built by Lord Rama's army of monkies, may not be destroyed. The Indian government actually submitted a report to the Indian Supreme Court expressing the opinion of experts that Lord Rama in fact did not exist, and the government was forced to withdraw this report in the face of massive demonstrations by the faithful.

Christians may well smirk at the idea that people really believe that Lord Rama's army of monkies built Adam's Bridge, but let's consider for a moment what is being celebrated today, on Easter.

We're celebrating the myth that a man was crucified and died in agony by the hand of the Romans, at the behest of the Jewish religious establishment, that his body was laid into a tomb, and that after three days this body was reanimated and this same man appeared to some of his followers and taught them, empowered them, and then floated up into the sky as if going up to some place above the sky called Heaven, someday (real soon now...) to return again.

To be entirely honest, I don't think we've got much to crow about with respect to the Hindu's and the Ram Setu. They've got their mythology, and we've got ours, and ours seems more realistic and plausible only because it's the one we grew up with.

So, Happy Easter! Remember the dead man whose corpse reanimated after three days and eventually floated back up to some castle in the sky. He's coming back again, you know, real soon now.

Post by **_Scottie** » Sun Mar 23, 2008 10:51 pm

I told this earlier this year, but some TBM friends and I were down at the Cedar City IHOP eating breakfast next to a polygamist and 3 of his wives. Not sure if he had more that he left at home or not, but that's beside the point.

They left and my TBM friends went off about how WEIRD those polygamists were and how an EARTH could they believe such rubbish??

I mentioned that most of the world thinks that mainstream LDS beliefs are extremely weird. That shut them up pretty quick.

Post by **_beastie** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:53 pm

This reminds me of when a believer in the translation of the Sealed Portion of the gold plates visited ZLMB. He shared their story of how their prophet obtained and translated the plates. The plates were delivered to him on the back of a magical bug, If I recall correctly. Several LDS laughed at how silly it was, and how could anyone believe such nonsense. Some read a portion of the translation and declared it bad writing, ridiculous that anyone could believe it inspired.

I wish I had the link to share, but I can't find it. Gad used to have the link and shared it once, but I lost that, too. It was one of the funniest ZLMB threads EVER.

Post by **_Blixa** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:59 pm

There is nothing funny about an army of helper monkeys.

Post by **_Bond...James Bond** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:01 pm

Blixa wrote:There is nothing funny about an army of helper monkeys.

True dat. The Wicked Witch of the West had but a few platoons and she kicked mighty ass.

Post by **_Scottie** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:22 pm

Bond...James Bond wrote:
Blixa wrote:There is nothing funny about an army of helper monkeys.

True dat. The Wicked Witch of the West had but a few platoons and she kicked mighty ass.

Oh yeah, real tough! Against a 14 year old girl, a toy dog, a cowardly lion, a stupid scarecrow and a heartless tin man?!?!? Yeah, big whoop!! ;)

Post by **_Blixa** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:35 pm

Scottie wrote:
Bond...James Bond wrote:
Blixa wrote:There is nothing funny about an army of helper monkeys.

True dat. The Wicked Witch of the West had but a few platoons and she kicked mighty ass.

Oh yeah, real tough! Against a 14 year old girl, a toy dog, a cowardly lion, a stupid scarecrow and a heartless tin man?!?!? Yeah, big whoop!! ;)

uhmmmm I was thinking along the lines of what one helper monkey could do if seriously upset (ala "Monkey Shines")

Post by **_Sam Harris** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:25 pm

Bond...James Bond wrote:
Blixa wrote:There is nothing funny about an army of helper monkeys.

True dat. The Wicked Witch of the West had but a few platoons and she kicked mighty ass.

LOL, both of you are a trip. I was eating while reading that, and I'm glad I still have things going down the proper pipes!

Post by **_Bond...James Bond** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:04 pm

Sam Harris wrote:
Bond...James Bond wrote:
Blixa wrote:There is nothing funny about an army of helper monkeys.

True dat. The Wicked Witch of the West had but a few platoons and she kicked mighty ass.

LOL, both of you are a trip. I was eating while reading that, and I'm glad I still have things going down the proper pipes!

What's really ironic is that a special contingent of monkeys were being trained to form a protective phalanx-like shield around the WWotW with umbrellas. Guess they were having graduation when that whole "incident" happened.

Post by **_Sam Harris** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:18 pm

LOL, you wanna hear really bizarre?

I wake up this morning, and about 45 minutes into me and the significant other getting ready for work, I start feeling nauseated. I didn't say anything. Out of his mouth comes, "I feel sick"...literally two seconds later.

One hell of a man I have...he even pukes for me. I can't wait to see what happens if we have kids, maybe he'll have the contractions. That'd be cool...