Discrimination against adulterers / swingers--is it wrong?

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_asbestosman
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Discrimination against adulterers / swingers--is it wrong?

Post by _asbestosman »

eHarmony agrees to provide same-sex matches
Another California man sued eHarmony in 2005 for refusing to help him find a date. The company said there was one good reason for that: He was still married. That case was dropped on the eve of trial.


On the one hand we're bigots for discriminating against homosexuals. Are we also bigots for discriminating against adulterers / swingers?

Why on earth does a buisness have to cater to one oddball group but not another?
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_JAK
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Re: Discrimination against adulterers / swingers--is it wrong?

Post by _JAK »

asbestosman wrote:eHarmony agrees to provide same-sex matches
Another California man sued eHarmony in 2005 for refusing to help him find a date. The company said there was one good reason for that: He was still married. That case was dropped on the eve of trial.


On the one hand we're bigots for discriminating against homosexuals. Are we also bigots for discriminating against adulterers / swingers?

Why on earth does a buisness have to cater to one oddball group but not another?


Interesting question. What’s a bigot?

bigot

Taken at the first statement here:

“A bigot is a person who is intolerant of opinions, lifestyles, or identities differing from his or her own, and bigotry is the corresponding state of mind.”

Are there not levels of intolerance? In the extensive above definition (available in our common denominator of the Internet), the term has various meanings and applications.

You raise a good question. I would ask just how “intolerant” must one be to fairly be called “a bigot”? Perhaps the key is the degree to which we are “intolerant.” For example, we may suspect that someone is homosexual, but lack any real evidence that we are correct in our suspicion. If I treat him/her unfairly or unkindly based on my suspicion, I’ve allowed my own bias (assuming a bias against that person) to turn that suspicion into rigid conclusion.

Adultery is far more common than homosexuality (if we are to believe research on the percentages). In what way do people “discriminate” against adulterers?

Do we deny them employment?
Do we deny them service at a restaurant?
Do we deny them service on their car?

Many of the clerks we meet at a store while shopping are people we know nothing about. It’s difficult to discriminate against them.

I think in the case of discrimination against anyone, it becomes a question of just how we do that. We might see someone at a distance in a store. They don’t see us, but because we are intolerant of their opinions (or something else), we deliberately take another aisle. We go out of our way to avoid having to speak to them. They never know, but we know (if we do that).

If by “discrimination,” you mean we would deny them a job or a promotion (which they deserve on merit), many would consider that “wrong.” Of course it happens.

asbestoesman, if you were an employer who had a superior candidate for the job you offered, would you deliberately choose another less qualified person because you were intolerant?

Or would you select the best candidate whom you felt could render you the best service, even if you were intolerant of something about that person?

Is a pot smoker an “oddball”? Is a group of chess players an “oddball group”?

We could list a wide variety of “groups” that might well be considered “oddball” by other groups.

I think “business” (men or women) can and do select employees and do discriminate. However, they generally don’t state either to the potential employee or to anyone why they discriminated against an individual.

Would you not agree that this is the case?
_The Dude
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Re: Discrimination against adulterers / swingers--is it wrong?

Post by _The Dude »

eHarmony is a business, right? If they have a moral issue with adultery, then I don't see why somebody else doesn't fill the "eSwingers" niche independently and make a buck.

??
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_asbestosman
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Re: Discrimination against adulterers / swingers--is it wrong?

Post by _asbestosman »

The Dude wrote:eHarmony is a business, right? If they have a moral issue with adultery, then I don't see why somebody else doesn't fill the "eSwingers" niche independently and make a buck.

That's what I'm wondering. Why does the government have to be involved at all? It's not like he's being denied employment, or housing.

Hey, I know some women who have gym memberships at special female-only gyms. Should I sue that gym for discrimination?
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_asbestosman
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Re: Discrimination against adulterers / swingers--is it wrong?

Post by _asbestosman »

JAK wrote:I think “business” (men or women) can and do select employees and do discriminate. However, they generally don’t state either to the potential employee or to anyone why they discriminated against an individual.

Would you not agree that this is the case?

Yes. I think a lo of the discrimination in employment is simply a gut feel of personality although this may be well-hidden when there are threats of lawsuits over discrimination.

Interesting question. What’s a bigot?

bigot

Taken at the first statement here:

“A bigot is a person who is intolerant of opinions, lifestyles, or identities differing from his or her own, and bigotry is the corresponding state of mind.

I'm tolerant of some opinions and lifestyles which differ from my own, but some I will never tolerate. I will never tolerate child molestation. Period. I don't caer what Nambla or whatver thinks. Does that make me a bigot? Perhaps not.

While I don't approve of adulterers, I don't go out of my way to avoid them at a grocery store unless that person was directly responsible for some pain to a close friend or family in which case I'd avoid them to avoid unpleasant speech / actions in public. Does that make me a bigot? I don't think so.

Am I a bigot? Maybe. I'm not condemning proposition 8. For some that means I'm a bigot.
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_Sethbag
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Re: Discrimination against adulterers / swingers--is it wrong?

Post by _Sethbag »

In the case of eHarmony and the married man, the customers of eHarmony expect the business to provide some token level of vetting of the people they are being set up with. Perhaps eHarmony felt that to set single women looking for a mate up with a guy who was secretly married would be a breach of their (eHarmony's) duty of protection.

Just like a service like this might run a background check on a guy and refuse to set him up with women if he had been convicted of sexual assault, for example.
Mormonism ceased being a compelling topic for me when I finally came to terms with its transformation from a personality cult into a combination of a real estate company, a SuperPac, and Westboro Baptist Church. - Kishkumen
_collegeterrace
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Re: Discrimination against adulterers / swingers--is it wrong?

Post by _collegeterrace »

asbestosman wrote:eHarmony agrees to provide same-sex matches
Another California man sued eHarmony in 2005 for refusing to help him find a date. The company said there was one good reason for that: He was still married. That case was dropped on the eve of trial.


On the one hand we're bigots for discriminating against homosexuals. Are we also bigots for discriminating against adulterers / swingers?

Why on earth does a buisness have to cater to one oddball group but not another?
I'd hope that you were on this man's side.

Look at the founder of the religion which you defend. He was married and was hooking up with the ladies. Married and single ladies. I'd guess that makes him both an adulterer and a swinger.

Although I am not sure he let Emma shag another man, so one sided swinger?

If you look at the history of Mormon plural marriage, NONE of the additional unions were legally recognized marriages.

With that is it not easy to see the men and women who engaged in sexual activities after additional Mormon "sealings" as nothing more than adulterers and all of their illicit offspring are then BASTARDS by definition?

Hmmm, with so many proud Mormons who brag about their pioneer/polygamist ancestors, I wonder how many LDS on this board are descendants of polygamist bore bastards?

By the show of hands on this board, how many had a great-grandmother or great-great-grandmother who committed adultery?

God what a legacy.
... our church isn't true, but we have to keep up appearances so we don't get shunned by our friends and family, fired from our jobs, kicked out of our homes, ... Please don't tell on me. ~maklelan
_asbestosman
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Re: Discrimination against adulterers / swingers--is it wrong?

Post by _asbestosman »

collegeterrace wrote:I'd hope that you were on this man's side.

Look at the founder of the religion which you defend. He was married and was hooking up with the ladies. Married and single ladies. I'd guess that makes him both an adulterer and a swinger.

I'm not talking about whether adultery or swinging should be legal or illegal. I'm talking about whether a buisness should be forced to cater to it. In order for Joseph Smith to be relevant to this discussion, he would have had to try signing up with some kind of dating service but have been refused admittance and therefore been unable to be a polygamist because of it.
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_collegeterrace
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Re: Discrimination against adulterers / swingers--is it wrong?

Post by _collegeterrace »

asbestosman wrote:
collegeterrace wrote:I'd hope that you were on this man's side.

Look at the founder of the religion which you defend. He was married and was hooking up with the ladies. Married and single ladies. I'd guess that makes him both an adulterer and a swinger.

I'm not talking about whether adultery or swinging should be legal or illegal. I'm talking about whether a buisness should be forced to cater to it. In order for Joseph Smith to be relevant to this discussion, he would have had to try signing up with some kind of dating service but have been refused admittance and therefore been unable to be a polygamist because of it.

Asking for a daughter's hand in marriage is basically the same, just much closer nit. And was he not refused by some???
... our church isn't true, but we have to keep up appearances so we don't get shunned by our friends and family, fired from our jobs, kicked out of our homes, ... Please don't tell on me. ~maklelan
_Sethbag
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Re: Discrimination against adulterers / swingers--is it wrong?

Post by _Sethbag »

asbestosman wrote:I'm not talking about whether adultery or swinging should be legal or illegal. I'm talking about whether a buisness should be forced to cater to it. In order for Joseph Smith to be relevant to this discussion, he would have had to try signing up with some kind of dating service but have been refused admittance and therefore been unable to be a polygamist because of it.

Why the hell would Joseph Smith need eHarmony to find him his mates, when Elohim had already given them to him? And it's not as if he had a choice in the matter, is it? Not with the angel and the flaming sword and all.

Too bad Elohim wasn't as fastidious about setting Joseph up with married women as eHarmony would have been - could have saved Joseph Smith a whole ration of crap, don't you think?
Mormonism ceased being a compelling topic for me when I finally came to terms with its transformation from a personality cult into a combination of a real estate company, a SuperPac, and Westboro Baptist Church. - Kishkumen
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