Some misunderstandings about prayer can be clarified by realizing that the scriptures define principles for effective prayer, but they do not assure when a response will be given. Actually, He will reply in one of three ways. First, you can feel the peace, comfort, and assurance that confirm that your decision is right. Or second, you can sense that unsettled feeling, the stupor of thought, indicating that your choice is wrong. Or third—and this is the difficult one—you can feel no response.
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideN ... 82620aRCRD
In the Lord’s formula to Oliver Cowdery, he says that negative answers would bring a “stupor of thought,” something that would make him “forget the thing which is wrong.” (D&C 9:9.) Even though a negative answer to prayer may not cause a person to immediately “forget the thing which is wrong,” the negative feelings will make him unclear of mind.
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideN ... 82620aRCRD
The Lord told Joseph Smith that he spoke to his servants “in their weakness, after the manner of their language, that they might come to understanding” (D&C 1:24). Everyone feels and describes his spiritual experiences differently. Perhaps I needed to learn how the Lord would speak to me and recognize the answers I was getting. I understand now. When I pray for an answer, I use the same formula taught to me in my youth. I study it out in my mind, make what I think is a reasoned decision, then I ask the Lord if it is right. If I feel a growing sense of excitement, I am convinced that the Lord approves of the decision. When I am fasting, the lack of food continually reminds me of the purpose. I pray frequently and feel a surging excitement and certainty as if the Holy Ghost has given an impression to my soul. If it is wrong, I become confused and depressed—finally realizing that I am experiencing a “stupor of thought.”
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideN ... 82620aRCRD
As I struggled to fill the call I had received, I learned valuable lessons in hearing the voice of the Spirit.
As president of a stake auxiliary, I needed a secretary. Heeding the pattern set forth in Doctrine and Covenants 9:7–9, I studied the readiness and abilities of many brethren, made a selection, and on a Sabbath afternoon placed the decision before the Lord. I thought I understood the process fairly well because I’d used it many times before. However, I felt no confirming feeling from the Spirit. After meditating, I asked again but still did not get an answer. What was wrong?
I changed my prayer and asked instead, “If this brother is not the correct selection, please cause my bosom to burn within me.” Nothing happened.
Lesson one for me: The Spirit does not bear witness to that which is not correct. Neither request could be answered because both dealt with wrong decisions. Suddenly I realized that I had experienced a “stupor of thought” (D&C 9:9) in both cases and that I needed to “study it out” (v. 8) again.
Another day came, and I presented another name to the Lord. Still no confirmation came. For some time after that, I studied scriptures and prayerfully meditated upon the problem. After I had presented more than a dozen names, all without results, the selection process became more difficult: I would have to consider brethren for whom human wisdom cried out, “There is little chance the Lord will approve him at this time.”
In the meantime, a very close friend of mine who served as secretary in a social club was making a struggle to become active in the Church. He had great ability and was a man of integrity but lacked, in my judgment, spiritual maturity. Nevertheless, I finally submitted his name to the Lord. A penetrating burning filled my bosom. There could be no mistake. He was the one the Lord wanted to serve as secretary in the organization I presided over.
Lesson two for me: Stay at it until you receive confirmation or experience a stupor of thought. Sometimes we pray for inspiration but fail to take time to determine “if it be right” (D&C 9:8). The Lord counseled Oliver Cowdery, “You have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me” (v. 7). When answers don’t come immediately, I’ve learned to return to studying out the issues and forming new decisions until these steps bring a discernible result.
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideN ... 82620aRCRD
Read Doctrine and Covenants 6:22–23 and Doctrine and Covenants 9:8.
Explain that if for some reason we have not chosen correctly, the Lord has promised that he will reveal that our decision is wrong by leaving us with an uncomfortable feeling or serious doubt. The scriptures refer to this as a “stupor of thought.” When this occurs, we must start the decision-making process over again.
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideN ... 82620aRCRD
I fought against accepting the answer was “no” – that’s why it took me so long to finally let go. Learning the church wasn’t true was the most frightening experience of my life, and one I didn’t welcome.
