I am 50 years of age. I spent precisely the first 1/2 of my life in what was increasingly becoming LDS Inc and less Mormonism. The last 1/2 of my life I have been free of the yoke, and an observer in a community that is more than 50% LDS.
I am fortunate not to have darkened the door of an LDS chapel in more than 20 years, except on perhaps the occasion of a funeral.
Hearkening back to the first 1/2 of my life, I remember a subdivision among the Chapel Mormons. There were people that exuded genuine kindness and consideration for others. They tended to be older than younger, more female than male. They rarely uttered a word about eternal progression or the hereafter, except perhaps to say they welcomed the time when they could once again see family members that had already died, and perhaps see God and Jesus. These people did not talk in terms of three kingdoms of heaven or exhaltation or anything of that ilk. Their temple sealings were of value to give them the opportunity to see again those family members who had died.
Then there were the people that were the Stake leaders, the Ward leaders, and even teachers of classes at Priesthood, Sunday School, etc. They spoke of temptation, the devil, the atonement, the pre-existence, the 2nd Coming, the millennial reign, the judgment, the resurrection of bodies made whole, spirits of the dead having a 2nd chance due to baptisms for the dead--but it being harder not being in the flesh (by the way, which seemed odd to me), one's calling and election made sure, etc. They begrudged home teaching, and did not exude any genuine kindness or care for others. It was their own exhaltation that was in their headlights.
Now I suppose some of this latter group would over time become part of the former group. I don't know. In my observations, I did not see it. Those that were caught up in achieving their own exhaltation became, in my observation, more entrenched with time in that mode. And many that were in the kindness group had not, I would find out, been active when they were younger. So for me, I did not see much progression of those in the seeking exhaltation group migrating into the kindness group.
Funny too, Jason, that you mention Ballard for the preaching on how LDS ought to act when dealing with those not of the 'faith'. In that first 1/2 of my life, I had occasion to meet 10-12 GAs. Some did seem truly caring for others, but Ballard was among those GAs I met the most singularly, strikingly arrogant and indifferent. (Oaks on the other hand was one whom I saw, pre-GA days, exhibit true kindness.)
Thanks for your insight as well, Nimrod. I’m not sure what you’ve observed is at odds with what Jason summarized.
I think that human nature is spread over a continuum in terms of both naked ambition and empathy and concern for others. I think that is true in the LDS church as it is in any organization. Of course, there are LDS teachings that could encourage the development of negative ambition – the idea of being chosen, and being gods in embryo, and having the only true priesthood, etc. At the same time, there are LDS teachings that could counter-act those negative ideas.
I did know some very arrogant and cold LDS individuals. As you say, they tended to be ambitious men, men who viewed callings within the LDS church as a sort of competition, who viewed certain callings as beneath them. One of the coldest, and, in my opinion, cruelest leaders I ever had the displeasure of meeting was Robert Hales. He was in charge of my mission, and verbally abused us in a conference due to his displeasure over our poor baptismal rate. (this was France, but that was no excuse) I imagine he puts on quite a show in his talks, too. Those kind of folks know how to play the game.
I think it tends to be true that ambitious people tend to engage in the sort of behaviors that lead to their advancement in whatever organization they value. Those behaviors may not be as attractive outside the service of ambition.
But I also knew many very warm and generous Mormons, as you observed.