Biography of LDS President Monson arriving soon - SLTrib.com

[_Darth J]

"Gee, thanks. A great big $30 coaster with President Monson's picture on it. What a wonderful birthday/Christmas/random holiday this has been."

[_Darth J]

"Gee, thanks. A great big $30 coaster with President Monson's picture on it. What a wonderful birthday/Christmas/random holiday this has been."

Our new Thomas Monson biography is much more than just a coaster! Just look at all these other household uses:



--a handy doorstop!

--a church-acceptable pillow for those stake high council Sundays!

--a miniature ottoman!

--destroying that spider that your significant other is freaking out about!

--a convenient source of child discipline: make them read it, or, if you're not that abusive, just hit them with it!

--re-gift it to your TBM friends/relatives, and try to guess how long it will take to come full circle back to you!

[_sock puppet]

"Gee, thanks. A great big $30 coaster with President Monson's picture on it. What a wonderful birthday/Christmas/random holiday this has been."

Our new Thomas Monson biography is much more than just a coaster! Just look at all these other household uses:



--a handy doorstop!

--a church-acceptable pillow for those stake high council Sundays!

--a miniature ottoman!

--destroying that spider that your significant other is freaking out about!

--a convenient source of child discipline: make them read it, or, if you're not that abusive, just hit them with it!

--re-gift it to your TBM friends/relatives, and try to guess how long it will take to come full circle back to you!

Hey, Darth, I thought you were not supposed to show in real life pictures of any registered poster here. in real life bcspace is Vince of Sham-Wow fame.

[_Tchild]

I dunno, every year I struggle to find the perfect "white elephant" gift for those crazy x-mas time parties. The usual blow-up doll, hot body oils, 1970's Foghat 8-track tapes are just getting old.

Imagine the screaming horror of the guest opening their gift to see Thomas S. Monson's waxy, mortician-esque makeup mug gleaming back at them.

I very well could be the toast of the X-mas party scene this year.

[_cinepro]

It's too bad Sheri Dew couldn't do this bio as well. I guess her treatment of President Hinckley was just a little too edgy.

Some of you might wonder how many times Thomas Monson has told that story about the widow being taken to a Thanksgiving dinner by the teenagers in her ward "followed by a choice program" to a Church-wide audience. My count is three.

To be fair, the last link is from the New Era, which is usually a recycled edit of a previous talk.

[_Darth J]

Some of you might wonder how many times Thomas Monson has told that story about the widow being taken to a Thanksgiving dinner by the teenagers in her ward "followed by a choice program" to a Church-wide audience. My count is three.

To be fair, the last link is from the New Era, which is usually a recycled edit of a previous talk.[/quote]

Oh, you mean like they're just phoning it in?

However, that is a fair statement. "A recycled edit of a previous talk" is sometimes a source of important teachings. See, e.g., The Book of Mormon.

[_Paul Osborne]

Tommy boy Monson is a crook. His stories are nothing but sappy garbage retold again for fools who like to hear the same junk over and over.

Come here Tommy boy, I want to poke your eyes out you false prophet and say nasty things about your mother and your grandmother the town whore. I'd love to swat his ass with a board filled with tacks to teach him a lesson. Do you think he would cuss and get angry? I could get him angry. Give me 10 minutes with tommy boy Monson and I'd get him in a full rage.

Paul O

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

Tommy boy Monson is a crook. His stories are nothing but sappy garbage retold again for fools who like to hear the same junk over and over.

Come here Tommy boy, I want to poke your eyes out you false prophet and say nasty things about your mother and your grandmother the town whore. I'd love to swat his ass with a board filled with tacks to teach him a lesson. Do you think he would cuss and get angry? I could get him angry. Give me 10 minutes with tommy boy Monson and I'd get him in a full rage.

Paul O

Hello,

Oh my. Have you thought about using marijuana instead of alcohol? You seem to be a bit of a rage-a-holic!

King: “Are people ever thrown out of your church?”

Hinckley: “Yes.”

King: “For?”

Hinckley: “Doing what they shouldn’t do, preaching false doctrine, speaking out publicly. They can carry all the opinion they wish within their heads, so to speak, but if they begin to try to persuade others, then they may be called in to a disciplinary council. We don’t excommunicate many, but we do some.”


You better watch out, Mister. You need to keep all those thoughts inside your head.

Very Respectfully,

Doctor CamNC4Me

[_Paul Osborne]

Hinckley: “Doing what they shouldn’t do, preaching false doctrine, speaking out publicly. They can carry all the opinion they wish within their heads, so to speak, but if they begin to try to persuade others, then they may be called in to a disciplinary council. We don’t excommunicate many, but we do some.”

Come and get me you dirty dead SOB!

Paul O