Why do LDS Mormons hate 'Big Love'?

[_Blixa]

I never said the Grants and Greens weren't deviant. lol. They are probably even more so, in that, girls and women are viewed as property. Switched and swapped around like pieces of furniture.

Hendricksons....come on, the guy goes lusting after new babes, and all the women are, "OK, the more the merrier!"

Sorry, my syntax wasn't clear. I meant something along the lines of, "leaving aside the Grants and Greens who are more obviously weird and deviant..." not that you thought them not strange. I was just interested in what you thought about the Hendricksons. But the first part, that a man may desire many women would likely be thought pretty normal, don't you think? It's the second part: the acceptance of "sharing" that is the most at odds with mainstream american views.

[_Tchild]

For myself, "Big Love" doesn't accurately convey the culture of Mormonism along the Wasatch front. It may represent polygamists and their culture, but as secretive as they are, few would ever know if it were accurate or not.

I have watched the show and thought, "who exactly are these people and where do they live?" The actions and attitudes don't reflect any Mormon I know or have ever known.

If Mormons "hate" Big Love, it is probably because it is a hollywood caricature of Mormonism falling far from the mark. To make the show palpable, the writers have to add all sorts of salacious and juicy plot lines that just don't happen in your typical conservative Mormon household.

Just my opinion though.

[_madeleine]

I never said the Grants and Greens weren't deviant. lol. They are probably even more so, in that, girls and women are viewed as property. Switched and swapped around like pieces of furniture.

Hendricksons....come on, the guy goes lusting after new babes, and all the women are, "OK, the more the merrier!"

Sorry, my syntax wasn't clear. I meant something along the lines of, "leaving aside the Grants and Greens who are more obviously weird and deviant..." not that you thought them not strange. I was just interested in what you thought about the Hendricksons. But the first part, that a man may desire many women would likely be thought pretty normal, don't you think? It's the second part: the acceptance of "sharing" that is the most at odds with mainstream american views.

I don't really know what is "Mainstream America". It seems that definition gets blurred more and more to the point of meaningless.

My own views are, that a person is not defined by their sexual desires. Whether those desires/practices are viewed as normal or deviant is irrelevant.

Polygamy, by its very nature, treats women as unequal to men. The result, of women being treated as property, is seen in all societies that accept polygamy as "normal".

It would be hoped, I think, that 'Mainstream America' would reject this, but I can't see that 'Mainstream America' rejects anything, any more.

[_greentam]

How many LDS say they would practice polygamy if it became allowable to them again? MADB asks this once in a while, most say they would...so I see lip service...or at the very least, a lack of convictions, one way or the other.[/quote]

I find that many people say yes for different reasons. They either would because:
They believe that it never should have been revoked as doctrine.
They want multiple women.
Or to stay true to whatever the church tells them. Even if the rule is not to their liking.
When speaking to non LDS, LDS, and FLDS people it's interesting to really get into the nitty gritty of what it really entails. The emotional toll it can take on your relationships and family is intense. As I see people move into polygamy I hear them saying that thinking it's what you want is one thing. Living in polygamy is another.
And to be clear, when mentioning the women being rowdy on the show, or disrespectful I don't think some of their actions would be ok even in a monogamous relationship. Ie a wife getting a green card marriage with a different man or getting into large amounts of debt. And some actions wouldn't be ok in polygamous relationships, ie him dating someone without informing his wives.

[_madeleine]

When speaking to non LDS, LDS, and FLDS people it's interesting to really get into the nitty gritty of what it really entails. The emotional toll it can take on your relationships and family is intense. As I see people move into polygamy I hear them saying that thinking it's what you want is one thing. Living in polygamy is another.
And to be clear, when mentioning the women being rowdy on the show, or disrespectful I don't think some of their actions would be ok even in a monogamous relationship. Ie a wife getting a green card marriage with a different man or getting into large amounts of debt. And some actions wouldn't be ok in polygamous relationships, ie him dating someone without informing his wives.

greentam...I have a friend, who married for "green card" reasons, but the guy was deported anyway. He is barred from entering the States, she isn't moving to be with him.

She then remarried...this guy has a friend who is a polygamist, here, in SLC. Because she was still legally married to the "green card" guy, they had this polygamous friend marry them...everyone is all okee dokee with this. I thought it was mighty strange. Still do. I can't for the life of me view my friend as married to the guy she is living with.

Anyway, this polygamous guy who married them recently married a woman in her early 20's. My friend's "husband" asked him about sex, and the guy laughed and said of course, he has no interest in having sex with anyone but the youngest. He is in his late 40s, as is his first wife...so the first wife is now, essentially, celibate, while her so-called "husband" is not.

There is no marital unity here.

[_MrStakhanovite]

What is so intimidating about this show?

The Church doesn't have control over it.

[_Sophocles]

It's hard to say how accurate the show is regarding Mormonism because the modern, mainstream LDS church is only ever portrayed as the backdrop for the polygamist group. Everything that the protagonists are involved in feels a little bit off, but then it would, because they are practicing a different version of a religion and its resulting culture.

What the show nails is mainstream Mormonism's shame and disdain toward its polygamy roots. My wife grew up in Sandy and has memories of throwing rocks at the polygamist kids as they walked home from public school. Their need to hide in plain sight is a major source of tension in the show.

The most priceless example of this was before the first episode, when the LDS church, thinking that the show would portray modern, mainstream Mormons as polygamists, demanded that HBO run a disclaimer stating that the modern church has nothing at all to do with polygamy. Little did they know that they were just acting their part in what would become a major theme of the show, which is modern Mormonism's insistence on distancing itself from its polygamist past.

[_Yoda]

How many LDS say they would practice polygamy if it became allowable to them again? MADB asks this once in a while, most say they would...so I see lip service...or at the very least, a lack of convictions, one way or the other.

I find that many people say yes for different reasons. They either would because:
They believe that it never should have been revoked as doctrine.
They want multiple women.
Or to stay true to whatever the church tells them. Even if the rule is not to their liking.
When speaking to non LDS, LDS, and FLDS people it's interesting to really get into the nitty gritty of what it really entails. The emotional toll it can take on your relationships and family is intense. As I see people move into polygamy I hear them saying that thinking it's what you want is one thing. Living in polygamy is another.
And to be clear, when mentioning the women being rowdy on the show, or disrespectful I don't think some of their actions would be ok even in a monogamous relationship. Ie a wife getting a green card marriage with a different man or getting into large amounts of debt. And some actions wouldn't be ok in polygamous relationships, ie him dating someone without informing his wives.

Welcome to the board, Greentam! :-)

I am one of the Moderators on the board, so please feel free to PM me if you have any questions about the mechanics of the board, etc.

I am so curious about your choice in practicing polygamy because it is something I honestly don't think I could ever do, and something I have the hardest time with as an existing doctrine of the LDS faith (even though it is not currently practiced).

Do you mind my asking a few questions?

Are you a "first wife"?

You mentioned that the living arrangements on "Big Love" were different from what you experience in your polygamist relationship. Do all of the wives live under the same roof with your husband?

(If these questions are too personal, please simply say so. I'm not trying to pry...just very curious.)

[_greentam]

Oh! I should say that we're aren't currently polygamists. Or ever have been. My parents/extended family are LDS. My husbands are FLDS and we're currently neither. We had a short stint as trying to be LDS in order to garner more acceptance for my husband but we realized that it wasn't what we wanted. We've talked about becoming polygamists before, but have decided that for us, since we are not religious it would be a sexual preference instead of a religious precept. And that there wasn't anyone we would want to be married to. Not to mention being ostracized forever from my own family! I've been asked before by a relative in hushed tones if we had become FLDS. And this started a long running joke involving us having a "closet wife" we don't let out of the house.
If we were going to marry someone else, we would probably live the way his parents do. In the same household. Their group looks down on the other way (multiple homes) because they consider this to be "multiple monogamy".

[_Joseph]

lds-inc hates it because they don't get any money from it.
Because the members can't figure out how to rip-off the concept and make money from it like Where's Waldo?/I spy a Nephite and similar deals.

If they can't make money from it, what good is it?